I have this little philosophy.
Always accept a first date unless you know a relationship would never develop.
Pretty simple, right?
Yet, the jury is out on this one. I've heard two other philosophy's that friends try to convince me of:
1. Always accept a first date.
2. Never accept a first date unless you know a relationship could develop.
I am also often mistaken for much younger than my rickety ole truth. My circumstances in life and my situation are in a different world than, say, a 23-year old. That does not mean I write them off, I do try to give each a chance. But let's say you are in your second year of college, live with your parents, have no job, have no vehicle, and still have the bright and dewy deer-in-the-headlights eyes looking at the "big, grown up world." We, most likely, are not ever going to have a relationship. More severe is someone in that situation over the age of 25. Do I accept a date invitation? Do I let him spend his hard-earned few dollars (or allowance) on me?
One man friend of mine argues that a man isn't necessarily interested in a romantic relationship when he first asks on a date, simply in getting to know the young lady better. I see the point. But I asked this of the same man friend: He is a sweetheart, but I'd interacted with him enough already to know we weren't the best matches for each other. YES, I did judge based off of "position in life." YES, I did judge based off of aesthetics. The sum of the parts makes the whole right? Do guys like it better if a girl "just gives me a chance." Or do they prefer to not waste their time on a first date? Because I am fully prepared to go on every first date extended if you honestly believe it really is better to go on one date even if you know it isn't going anywhere. I mean, if there are three strikes in my head before I even go out with the guy, why do it?
He responded: "...The one time I've actually been turned down for a first date, even though the girl's excuse was likely legitimate, crushed my fragile little ego. Of course I got over it, went out there again...Dating is SUPPOSED to be about making personal connections with people, that MAYBE evolve into romance. I think so many of us focus on the latter part of that process, though, that we forget about the FORMER. Was this guy interested in making you his "sweetie pie" right off, or did he just want to get to know you better? I know a lot of guys go into a first date hoping to start a long-term dating relationship with a girl, but I don't know that everyone does on EVERY date. All I can say is that I understand your reasons for saying "no," I know how much it sucks to get turned down, and, as a culture, we take the first date WAY too seriously."
I don't take a first date seriously, truthfully (I wait til date three of four before I start truly wondering about the future), but if I know (c'mon, when you know, you know, right? We've all been there...) there is never a chance, should I go? If I am not physically attracted at all? If I find conversation awkward and pointless? If I'd have to be his sugar momma?