Innuendo

You know, I am a righteous, clean, spiritual young lady, but I have to confess....I do appreciate a good innuendo once in awhile. That's all:-)

Celeste

I told my little friend Celeste (yes, she is little, although a dynamo, and 10 years younger than me) that I would dedicate a blog posting to her, so here goes:
I love that Celeste is always going crazy with wild energy.
She once won a lunchbox in a head-banging contest. Crazy, you see.
Love she hath for anything funny like I Charlie the Unicorn (not), Scrubs, Homestar Runner...
She loves food, as well all do, even if you make her eat it in a corner.
If you talk during a movie she will shoot you with an airsoft rifle.
Her frisbee skills are wicked mad, nothing stifled.
Here is to Celeste! (now I wonder how long it will take her to discover I really did this...)

Stood Up

I need some great "I got stood up" stories - they amuse me unceasingly:-)

I have actually only experienced this once myself. This past Saturday morning at 8am (I know - death - 8am on a Saturday!) I was supposed to meet up with a young man at the gym. I arrived a few minutes early. I ran a mile. I did one set of each of my weights. I did some abs. I did some obliques. Still no young man. I return to my car about an hour later to find 3 messages indicating said young man had slept through 4 alarms. I figured as much, no grudge. I actually chose not to call and wake him because I am awesome like that and know sleep is important. I was more amused than anything - for two reasons: 1. I forever have ammunition 2. Who sets four alarms?!? I occasionally have to trick myself and place my alarm across the room, but FOUR?

I have a friend though, who has been stood up twice - both within the same month. The first time a young man came to her house for a date. One of her roommates asked where the flowers were, so he left and never came back. The second time (different guy), the guy slept through the date, rescheduled, then called the day of and said something to the effect that he couldn't go out with her because his family was having dinner and pizza is hard to resist. What guy in their right mind chooses pizza over a girl? SERIOUSLY!

Anyone else have good stories?

Kissing Picture

I hate kissing pictures - but only when I know the people. I don't mind if people kiss in front of me, I just think seeing people's kissy-faces frozen in time is weird.
That being said, I L-O-V-E this series of 4 black & white photos of beautiful people kissing in 4 different cities: Paris, London, Chicago, and New York. (Why am I ok with strangers' kissy faces?) I have it hanging on the wall in my dining area.
Some young men asked me about this photo and I cleverly responded, "That is my New Year's resolution photo - reminding me of my goals." Somehow the conversation turned into which of them would be which city.
Now, I have 4 different men lined up to kiss in each of the designated cities. What a rough life:-)

Voicemail

Does the incessant repeating of this message (or any variation thereof) drive anyone else crazy?

"At the tone, please leave your message. At the end of your message please press pound or hang up. For further options, please press zero."

SERIOUSLY! If you don't know how to leave a voicemail by now, then you were cryogenically frozen with Mel Gibson back in 1954. Enough with the instructions already, we know, we get it.

Now, if you would like to leave a comment, please press "comment" and fill in the form. At the end of your comment, please press submit. For further options...

True Colors

Last night I played the game True Colors. The basic gist is that the cards ask questions like, "Who has no problem whatsoever striking up a conversation even with strangers?"
Players secretly vote on the person who best fits the description on the card.
The point?
I "won:"

• Most gullible
• Most want to be with in a nudist colony
• Floor most likely to be so clean you could eat off of it
• Worst break-up story
• Most times falling in love at first sight
• Most want to take along to pick out art
• Most likely to have a successful candlelight dinner
  
• Hottest by a mile (ok, not really, but I can dream)

Do you think these are accurate at all? I was entirely amused, being as I only thought I'd "win" one of these!

Exhibitionist

I was describing to a friend the exhibits for work.
Being the wonderful "I am listening to you and interested in what you say" type of person, she proceeded to ask, tilting her head inquisitively, 100% seriously, "Are there any other exhibitionists?"

Many Thanks - to You and Sam's Club!

Thanks everyone for helping me to meet one of my goals for the next ten years - the goal of comments on that last blog, not only once, but twice!
"You love me! You really love me!" Kudos if you know where that quote is from without looking it up.

On another note, I bought a 42" LCD HDTV at Sam's Club Saturday and every man in that store smiled enthusiastically my direction upon seeing me push that thing around. Many practically interviewed me regarding my purchase decision or wanted to help me load it into my car (shout out to my friend Jason who was waiting in the truck to help!).
Perhaps that is the way to get a man - push around an LCD HDTV?

In The Past Decade...

(Thanks Lili for inspiring this post)

-8.5 years spent living in Utah

-5 years (minus summers) spent in School (BYU)

-4 summers in Ohio

-1 internship in New York City

-1 diploma: BFA from BYU (Public Relations)

-34 roommates , 6 might-as-well-have-been-roommates

-10 addresses

-3 years lived with Lisa, my longest roommate

-0 debt - yeah!

-9 visits to NYC (10th is coming up in April!)

-60 Professional Broadway shows watched -holy cow, I'm an addict

-3 "real" jobs

-2 years teaching Cougar Cubs Gymnastics on Weekends

-4 semesters helping coach Beginning Men's Gymnastics at BYU

-42 states visited (but I've visited 46 - only 4 more left!)

-9 blind dates

-6 boyfriends (none resulting from the blind dates)

-65 dates with different men (mind you, these fit the definition of a date "planned, paid for, and paired off" - I'm not sure if all the gentlemen knew I was counting it as a date - if you only count ones where they officially asked, probably about 40)

-1.5 years dating (2.25 if you count the on-again/off-again stuff)

-8.5 years not dating

-0 kisses on New Year's

-1 Valentine

-1 car owned

-5 Television show tapings

-0 traffic tickets

-100s of friends made

-2 nieces and nephews born - obviously one of each

-44 children born to former roommates

-8 unmarried former roommates (of 34!) (due to request: Bepa, Cassie, Stephanie, Britney, Brittany, Katie, Monica, Dacya who is engaged)

-3 trips to Disney World, 1 to Disney Land

-1 maroon hair catastrophe

-19 solo performances/shows

-1 tap dance recital (I learned to tap!)

-1 kitty adopted in Utah

-485 DVDs acquired

-4.5 years at the gym (1 year 3 days/week, 3.5 years 6 days/week)

I am a little frightened when I thought about including something in these stats and realized it was longer than 10 years ago.
I do, however, have so much gratefulness and thanks in my heart for all the opportunities Heavenly Father has blessed me with/allowed me to have. When I thought about "ten years from now" as a teenager, I never had a specific image because all I saw were the millions of paths my life could take- a million puzzle pieces scattered about. Looking back at the beautiful picture that was created, I know, without a doubt, I am exactly where I am intended to be.

Hoping the next decade includes:

-1 husband

- # unknown - hooligan children

-10 more Christmas's with family (mine or aforementioned desired husband's)

-10 years working at the same company

- 1 home purchase

- 1 car purchase

- 100s more friends

- 1 trip (at least) to Europe

- 1 trip to each of the 4 states I haven't been yet (Alaska, Hawaii, Washington, Oregon)

- LOTS of singing

- 1 husband for my lil sissy

- 1 blog that gets at least 10 comments - it'd be my first time! (but I could shoot for the moon and go for 25!!!) (or overshoot the moon and go for...a million? Ok, maybe only 35:-)

Short Circuit

I go to the gym 6 days a week, have been for about 4.5 years now - not a big shocker to anyone who really knows me.
I regularly have to buy new headphones due to, for lack of better terminology, sweat-soaked malfunctions.
I've had a new "malfunction" occurring for about the past month...I keep getting this little electric zap about half-way up the edge of my left ear.
The even stranger thing? I kinda like it.

Hammered

I needed desperately to get hammered on New Year's. More precisely, I need a hammer. I thought I had one - I have Craftsman tools galore, but my hammer has been abducted somewhere along the line.
This nail sticks out absurdly, annoyingly high right in front of the entrance to my kitchen. I, and countless barefoot guests, have encountered the nuisance, which nips at our unsuspecting feet in the harshest of ways.
Yesterday I decided to let that little imp have it after another cruel attack. In my blind fury, I grabbed the nearest metal object from my counter and started pounding away.
Before I could even tell you what was happening, white foam started spraying everywhere. I had grabbed the Resolve carpet cleaner and that cantankerous little nail unrelentingly barraged the can.
I felt an idiot, to say the least. The entirety of my kitchen floor was blanketed in alabaster froth, as were the counters, the dining room entry, some dishes - it was White Christmas for New Years.
I needed to clean the kitchen anyway, perhaps this was a little extra motivation...and now my place smells...hygienic.