Saturday, October 30, 2010


When someone comments on my blog, I receive an e-mail.
When I respond to the comments, I also receive an e-mail.
I trick myself every time I see a new message into thinking someone loves me and has sent me a new e-mail when really it was just me commenting on my own blog.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Hearts and Kisses


What is that symbol to you?

I always thought it was a kissy face. Can't you see it? The mouth and puckered lips?

I've recently been informed it is a heart.

Uhh...yeah, it is so a kissy face.

Unexpected Email

My blog is public. I love reading people's thoughts, sharing mine, and then collecting others' thoughts on mine. I try to keep people anonymous unless I know they like the shout-out.

Recently, I blogged about a young man from days gone by - Repeat Offender and Spite. I am pretty sure he doesn't read my blog, but not entirely sure. Perhaps blogging about him put the vibe out into the universe. Who knows.

This morning I received an entirely unexpected email from him, after not having talked in over a year. He apologized for his actions when we dated all that time ago.

My eyes about popped out of my head. Aside from recounting the humorous parts of the break-up(s), I haven't given this a thought in quite some time.

I felt culpable when I read his message. He's been carrying around this regret and guilt for awhile. Imposing that guilt at the time of separation felt so delectable, but knowing it lasted feels quite the opposite. If a person is ending a relationship, they clearly believe that is the best decision to be made and who am I to decide what is best for that person? Sure, it may hurt, but I should never try to guilt the person into hurting as much as I do. Never.

Reflecting back, my experiences because of him changed my life:
1. I auditioned for my first show in eight years in order to occupy my thoughts and time. Shows have clearly become a major portion of my life and have brought me more happiness and fulfillment and friendships than I ever expected.
2. My darling Megan, her husband Kevin, and friend Julie, decided we needed to go on a trip to Hawaii to mend my broken heart from round two. I have dreamed of Hawaii my entire life and that trip was the capstone to completing my goal of visiting all 50 states before I turned 30.
3. I felt entirely foolish/embarrassed about the way I acted at the conclusion of our time together, thus making needed changes to the way I reacted in relationships - improving all of my relationships and friendships since then.

None of those life-altering things would have happened without him. He changed my life, ironically, because he was not in it.

Thanks, man from days gone by. I hold no bitter feelings, still find you an awesome blossom, and your email touched my heart. You continue to change me.

I ask you, readers, have you had someone who has touched your heart for only a moment, but altered the course of your life forever?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Movies the Right Way

A friend, actually two friends - one Saturday, one Monday - recently shared with me an idea similar to this:
If a movie does not impact you in some way or affect the way you think in some way, then you are watching it wrong.

Interesting concept. I agree.

One of my very, very (did I mention very) guilty pleasures is "The Hot Chick." This show provokes giggling fits every time - I can't help it. Better yet, if you sugar me up and catch me after midnight with this flick, you will behold quite the spectacle. Even this oddity sets my imagination on a creative spark. What would it be like to wake up as a different person? How different is my perception of myself versus what others perceive?

Perhaps I'm off-the-mark on what these young men originally intended with their theory, but the fact remains that the idea got me thinking - which means I was listening the right way:-)

Girlish Whim

I have this dream.
'Tis a silly one.

Someday, when I have a beau, I want to, on a whim, both take a day off of work and play together all day.

*Les Sigh*

I'd also like to just randomly reserve him for a day - alllll day - and drive to Las Vegas or the Grand Canyon or somewhere adventurous, watch the fountains/see the sights, and head back home. A lot of car time, yes. A lot of fun times, oh yes!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

He's (or She's) Just Not That Into You

Every day, I share communications with my ladies and men regarding those there may or may not be romantic inclinations towards. I know, I know, shock, shock, surprise, surprise.
Some of them are having success, some are not - I myself am in one of those two categories, which one I have yet to determine.

We have all found ourselves fretting over minutia. My mind wandered back to a couple of blogs I wrote that were eye-opening experiences for me and helped me stop the fretting. I appreciated the reminder so, if any of you out there need this too, here you go.

He's Just Not That Into You
I'm sure you have all seen the movie, but how about the book?

"He's Just Not That Into You," in my opinion, is a hard-knock of reality pie lambasted in the face of woman-kind in general. You know what else? That pie never tasted so good.

Countless hours have been spent lamenting over the woes of male/female communication with my darlings of the fairer sex. This lunacy will stop.

To sum it all up, when you ask yourself these questions, you now know the answer:
-He's giving all the signals, but not doing anything - what's the deal?
-Why isn't he calling?
-Why isn't he asking me out?
-Why isn't he committing?
-Why isn't he making a move?

He's just not that into you!

The reality is harsh, but if a man likes you enough, he will find a way to ask you out, no excuses. He is not too busy (seriously how long does it take to pick up the phone or send a text), too shy, too damaged, too out of town, or too anything else except too not into you! No matter how shy/busy/scared he is, he will find a way to overcome all obstacles if he is that into you.

Besides, do you really want a man who can't manage his time well enough to find 5 minutes to call you? Someone who doesn't call when they say they will (which by the way means they are definitely not thinking about you)? Someone who is so shy he can't even get over it enough to ask your awesome self out? Someone who has so many issues he can't look past himself? C'mon, seriously - you want that?!? Correct me if I'm wrong, but, don't you deserve more?

Yes, there are exceptions to these rules, but for the most part, you need to consider yourself the rule in these types of situations.

So why wouldn't he just tell you he isn't that into you?

Wouldn't you rather pull your teeth out one at a time sans medication than tell someone you know is fantastic that they aren't your kind of fantastic?

Why is He Just Not That Into You
I can humbly accept the fact when I am just not a particular young man's desired commodity. The elephant in the room traipsing, nay promenading about is, "Why?"

Analyzing this too much leads to self-deprecation, many a tub of Ben & Jerry's, and a consequential sugar don't do it!

My heart-your-face friend Anna has a philosophy that all the men who don't want us are indubitably gay. As true as that may be, I have a different school of thought: Ice cream.

Picture the dating pool as Baskin Robbins - 31 flavors of frozen delightfulness. Each of those flavors is someone's favorite, each of them is highly desirable to someone, somewhere. If my favorite flavor is chocolate raspberry, there is nothing you can do to convince me to want another flavor. If you ask, "What is wrong with the other flavors?" my answer will be, "Nothing! I just want this one."

Just because someone doesn't want your Very Berry Strawberry doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it. Soon enough, dreamalicious hunkomania is going to walk into your store and you are his favorite flavor. Rest assured, he is going to want to get him a piece of that! As Ross would say, "Grab a spoon."

500 Days of Summer

I fell in love with "500 Days of Summer" quite some time ago. (I actually think I first saw this movie with buds/blog readers Jon, Brett, and Kristie - holla!) This love has been a topic of much debate amongst my fellow females because some do not like the "harsh reality" of the story. I'm also a big fan of other harshies like "He's Just Not that into You" (or she, as the case may be).

I had the pleasure of watching this film again this past weekend and was reminded of so many of the reasons why I love the story. No amount of paraphrasing can compete with the exact quotes, so I suggest you go on over to and look up some gems.

One of my favorites is this conversation:
Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Almost all of us have been in a relationship at one time or another that, for no explicable reason, just did not feel "right." Some of us have been in relationships that, for no explicable reason, do feel "right."

Here's to hoping that one morning I wake up and I am sure of a relationship in a way I've never been sure of before.

Monday, October 25, 2010


I used to have this anonymous reader who would leave snarky comments all the time under the pseudonym "anonymous."
The comments added a little flava to my day and made me feel I might just have a mean bone in my body.
Are you still out there anonymous commenter who often disagrees with me?

Dreams: Driving

I've been having an alarming amount of dreams involving driving lately.

Saturday night I was driving up a road that went straight up. I drove with the pedal to the metal and then all of a sudden freaked out near the top. I backed half-way down, whereupon my "mentor" (aka, some old dude) tried to encourage me to just go for it, that I do it all the time. I was scared out of my gourd - who drives on a road that goes straight up and then kinda curves backwards towards the top? In my dream there was some physics reason why this worked. Random.

Sunday night I was driving at top speed down curvy roads to keep up with a friend of mine when all of a sudden I hit thick, dense, impenetrable fog.

I wonder what these mean? Ideas?

Update: Night of 10/26 I had a dream that I was driving along the highway and this crazy driver was passing everyone and I thought, "That isn't safe." Next thing I knew, he was sliding out of control, barely missing my car, hit the tail end of a pick-up, then starting flipping down the highway. I watched the catastrophe in my rear-view. The pick-up was the only vehicle damaged and no injuries. I have no idea why I keep having these dreams.


I was watching Sherlock Holmes for an hour or so last night and came upon a scene that I have encountered in real life and has disturbed me many times.

Did everyone really used to carry around handkerchiefs, blow their putrid mucous/snot into them, then fold them back up and return to their pockets? Or just a few?

This is gross and disturbing. And my dad does it. Gross, Dad!

Sunday, October 24, 2010


After a long, arduous search yesterday, I finally found a darling companion to enjoy my favorite grilled cheese focaccia with at Sweet Tomatoes. (Thanks, Sondi!)

As we were sitting in our booth, we heard this loud crash. I turned to see what all the commotion was about and, at that precise moment, a shrapnel of porcelain flew straight for my face and collided with my cheek.

I never thought my lovely mug was in danger at the salad buffet. Regardless, the dear elderly gentleman who dropped the plate was uninjured and no one else seemed to have encountered the shrapnel. Below you will find the guilty porcelain.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Ball of Twine

Do you ever have so many emotions running around inside of you that you feel like you are a big knot of twine? Not necessarily bad emotions, I've just got so many things going on and tugging my heart and mind different ways. I want to react, I want to be able to let off that steam or let out those tears or giggle in delight, but I just can't do any of the above because of this knot that I can't untie or straighten out. I can't even figure out where the end of the string is to begin trying...

Friday, October 22, 2010


I hate it when you grab your soda can, which is freezing cold, then you open the can and the soda inside is warm.

The First Boy: 19

I'm not sure why I've been reflecting on relationships of days gone by lately, but I'm sure these stories are welcome entertainment for all of you.

When I was a wee lass of almost 19, I went on a late-June trip to North Carolina to visit a dear friend's boyfriend and some of his friends on a military base. Long story, long story, I had my first kiss. We'll call him the Marine (because he was).

I returned home to Ohio wondering what had happened and if this meant I had to date the guy now because he kissed me. I didn't know he was going to kiss me - it was kind of a sneak attack - a stolen kiss I didn't know how to avoid. Young and stupid folks, young and stupid.
He would call me before work, during work, right after work, and right after my evening rehearsals. Ok, dude, glad you like me, but w-o-w - knock it off!

These same friends and I went to Washington, D.C. for the 4th of July weekend and those military boys met us there. Kissing was a new adventure for me and I didn't know what else to do, so I enjoyed myself kissing him (seriously, who doesn't like kissing?!) ...mainly because talking to him was so horrible and awkward.

After this trip, I called him and had a conversation with him saying things weren't going to work. I've tried to block most of these memories, however, I cannot block the fact that I had to tell him for an hour straight all the reasons why I knew a relationship of any kind with him would not work. I was traumatized! Almost nineteen and I had never dated anyone, let alone had to break someone's heart. I cried the entire conversation. Although I was pretty darned blunt, rude, and honest about all of the reasons he and I could not be together and those may have been tears of relief, truth be told.

After an hour of my abuse, he responded, "If you don't want to be with me, then why are you crying?"

Seriously?!?! No offense, but that's another reason right there - IDIOT!

Then let's flash forward to a few years later when I found out he had fulfilled his commitment to the military, his new job was loading beer trucks, and he had fathered a child he never met. Yeah....

Thursday, October 21, 2010


I was giggling to myself the other day when I happened upon evidence of something I did for spite to a former beau a few years ago. *Disclaimer* - Please do not try spite at home - it is hateful and hurtful. (but sometimes kinda funny:-)

Upon ending the relationship, I had informed him he was making a huge mistake, then grabbed him and kissed him a good one to prove my point. I'm usually not that confident or aggressive, but MAN did that feel right.

A couple days later, I had a brilliant idea and, if you sort through my profile pictures on Facebook, you can still see some of the evidence. Every day for about a month I changed my profile photo to be of me and a different man or a group of men. He probably didn't even notice, but it made my heart happy. Ah, the silly things we do when hit by relationship crazies.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


You know how the more you try to convince someone you aren't crazy, the more crazy you appear?
Yeah, that's all.

How to Destroy...

...Your life (or someone else's) is 160 characters or less.My weapon of choice

Wonder how a friend is doing with his divorce and send a caring text to him asking, "Are you still married?" Never do this. Bad idea. Especially if you are a woman and it is past 10pm.

Wonder how a friend is feeling about a certain romantical situation and write an accusatory text, "You aren't interested right?" Causes him a guilt trip because he is simply drowning with school and work and then you feel like an insensitive dummy.

Wonder if a friend is doing okay and send your text about them directly to them instead of to the person you meant to ask.

Respond to any texts during work hours - when your mind is in work mode, so are your fingers - and the result is cold, distant, to-the-point, possibly offensive texts to gentle souls. They get confused and ask if you are mad, not realizing work brain and out-of-work brain function differently.

I seriously think I should put myself on temporary texting restriction and try that whole "reach out and touch someone" method of actually talking or getting together. So, uh....Call me!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Receiving Line Comments: Damn Yankees

The run of Damn Yankees has officially ended. I'm a little more relieved than I should be. The show has been challenging for all of us - we've all been sick at least once, most of us two or three times, we've all been exhausted, we've all had to muster all the energy we could to perform for audiences that we sometimes swore were in comas, the list goes on. Above all though, we had a lot of fun playing together and performing.

The thought of not seeing the cast members three times per week is disheartening. More so than friends, my cast becomes my family for a short time - my little Empress family. I am constantly amazed with the heart's ability to expand and lovingly welcome these folks and from such diverse extremes. They've become my dear friends, my laughter, my support.

What's a gal to fill her time with now? Heaven forbid I actually am able to go to parties with my long-time friends or go on real dates.

Back to the original purpose of this post.

After the show we all get to file out the door and thank the audience members for coming as they head home.
I receive quite a few remarks and thought I'd share some of my favorites, because they amuse me for one reason or another or bring about the warm fuzzies.

Mostly we just got a lot of, "Great show!" comments. I was hoping for more random and slightly awkward comments when I first started keeping track of these. Enjoy!

"Boy you must have to channel a lot of anger."
"You are darling."
The child didn't say anything to me - she greeted everyone else then hid in her mother's leg when she got to me. Hm?
"That must be a very difficult role to play." (Trying to think of something to say but don't have a compliment, eh?)
"You insult his manhood in such a classy way that I wasn't even offended."
"Please tell me you are playing X role in X (Upcoming production) - you would be so perfect for the part!"
"Great projection."
"Classic reporter."
"If I had a reporter, I would want you on my side!"
"Such a tiny waist." (?!?)
"I'd have cried over that outfit, too."


Every morning I drive by this electronic billboard advertising all of the cute and cuddlies at the local animal shelter. They have big, pleading eyes. I can hear them screaming "adopt me" from the sign. They have names!

This morning I was flashed a photo of a furry little guinea pig. Named Oedipus. Now, for those of you who know the tale of Oedipus killing his father to be with his mother....well, I thought that entirely too appropriate for the world of guinea pigs. I wrinkled my nose and chuckled to myself. I wonder if anyone else realized the irony?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Two Extremes

One of my friends wrote a blog that got me thinking.

She was debating about how she's certain she wasn't making up signs a young man was sending her way, but now questions her sanity.

I've realized that in my dating history, and let's make clear I am trying to keep these tendencies in that history and not carry them into future relationships with me, I have struggled to find the balance between two extremes:

1. Seeing things that aren't there
2. Brushing off things that are

Some men move verrrrry slowly and give off the same vibe as ones who aren't interested. So which one is it? How can I properly invest myself to show or not show interest? No one can answer that question for another because the balance is different for each person - for me, the solution is typically patience and calmness. I about flip my lid when people try to over-generalize relationship situations.

I'm trying to roll with the punches and to not make mountains out of mole hills or vice versa. As an analyzer and a lover of mysteries for as far back as I remember, I'm always trying to "get to the bottom of things." Romantic intentions are, however, a mystery that I'm quite sure will never be solved.

I suppose in the end it all doesn't matter. The Lord isn't going to say, "Ha ha ha. You asked him to do something one week too soon after he asked you out, so you are alone forever," or, "Oops - you sent one stupid text, you are done for!" or "He loved you and you broke his heart to figure out things in your own life - eternal solitude for you!"

And as I type all of this, I have a smile on my face in spite of any confusion. Why? I love life! I know great things are in store.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Burnt Hair

Burnt hair has this acrid, putrid smell that belongs only in the bog of eternal stench. (name the movie)
Monday evening I was attacked by a malicious curling iron, it clamped upon my hair in a heated rage.
My poor, damaged straggler hairs framing my face never saw it coming. They shriveled up and snapped off and the rest of my hairs mourned in remembrance by emitting the burnt smell throughout the evening.
And apparently hair smells burnt again upon being washed.
As if the trauma in and of itself wasn't enough - I have to walk around with my olfactory senses cringing at the constant reminder of the tragedy that befell my head those few short days ago...

Friday, October 15, 2010


Does anyone else feel like the idea of romance is often something that is a bit contrived?

A friend's recent engagement started me pondering. I look at photos of many different engagement events, or listen to stories, and think, "Wow...that's kind of awkward."

A trail of rose petals lined with candles leading up to a box on a pedestal? Music playing in the background? Sure it all sounds fine and dandy, but it doesn't make romance. Under anything except the most perfect of circumstances (there is a time and a place), this contrived display makes me uneasy and uncomfortable...very uneasy.

If a man brings me a flower or takes me to a place designated "for lovers," that doesn't make romance.

What is romance to me?

Romance is someone I care about looking at me with that twinkle in their eye - you can't make that up, you can't fake it, you can't hide it.
Romance is that person wanting to spend every spare moment with me, even if all we are doing is reading our own books or sitting on a bench watching nature or running errands.
Romance is when I am sick and he sits with me all day even though he knows he can't cure me, but the thought to be anywhere else would never occur to him.
Romance is giving me a big embrace (I prefer the pick-me-up-and-spin-me-around types) even though I've just come from the gym.
Romance is not being able to hold back a smile every time he sees me.
Romance is remembering something random we have talked about or that an important day is upcoming.
Romance is checking in just to see if everything is okay.
Romance is not being able to keep his hands off of me.
Romance is staying up til the wee hours of the morning caught up in conversation.
Romance is honesty and forthrightness in communication - no games.
Romance is supporting each other in the things you are passionate about.

What is romance to you?

Dreams: Ugly Babies

The other night I had a dream. I recalled this dream upon seeing a photo of a baby. Nightmare, maybe?

In this dream, I was having a baby. Now, for those of you who know me, you know that having a baby is not something that ever occupies my thoughts. Perhaps someday, not now.

I was not married. My mother and sisters were there and not judgmental in the slightest, but I knew my mother was disappointed in me for getting pregnant out of wedlock. Maybe TMI, but funny, so I shall mention I remember thinking there hadn't been more than eight occurrences and how did that happen and what a huge mistake.

I didn't experience labor in this dream, just laying there on a bed waiting for them to hand me the baby. What a creature it was. Let's talk about really hideously ugly with a long pointy nose. I thought, "But his daddy was so handsome, how did this happen?" Then the kicker, the baby laughed when he was 5 minutes old, then said a word when he was just a few hours old, "Chocolate." I responded by looking at my sister and saying, "uh...did you hear that? Is he supposed to say that?" I can't recall the time frame, but the baby started growing up very quickly - ages 1 minute to 2 years happened in about 20 minutes, he started walking and talking. I was totally creeped out by this little creature and thought, "Mothers all think their babies are adorable and beautiful, but I'm going to admit right now I am so disappointed in this baby's looks. How can a mother not know when her child is ugly? Cause this one is hideously ugly, wrinkly, looks like an old man...and is creepy."

Flash forward in the dream a few months. I'd woken up from a nap and my mother was babysitting and she handed him back to me. The joy! The baby had grown pretty! I said to him, "I am so happy, your parents are both beautiful and I knew you would become attractive!"

I did watch "Glee" right before bed, which could bring about this mild state of psychosis, however, w-o-w. I'm disturbed.


Why is it that most of us will blow our noses, then promptly look into the tissue/napkin/what-have-you to see what has just been released from our nasal cavities?
I find this behavior disturbing, but it really is like people watching at Walmart - I just can't stop.

And I just did the unthinkable - I lifted up my keyboard to disinfect and there rested a peanut M&M, which I consumed without a second thought.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Observations About Today

1. The construction vehicles are out in full-force.
2. Wendy's Frosty spoons are too big for my petite mouth.
3. When I have fries, and there is no baggler, I am disappointed. Thank you, Baggler, for being there today.
4. The weather is sinfully charming - makes me want a young man to take a stroll with whilst the pumpkin cheesecakes are baking tonight. True story - I just bought all the baking supplies!
5. Employees in a building close to mine play hacky sack in their parking lot during their lunch break. Looks like quite a bit of fun - and amuses me.


So remember how last week I sent out a personal e-mail for one individual out to four others?
Well, I did it AGAIN. Kind of.
I sent a text ABOUT someone to that individual instead of the individual I was texting. It was actually a very neutral text with an easy explanation, but still kinda shot myself in the foot there a little bit.
How do I keep doing this?
Somebody stop me! (extra cool points if you name the stupid movie)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


A few friends and I were bantering about snuggies and the like.
She said, "Snuggies are the best."
I say, "No way. Snuggles are the best."
She sends me this:
I say, "Not Snuggle, SnuggleS."

She sends me this:

Smart A:-)

Late Nights

What is it about staying up until all hours of the night that makes me feel all risky, young, thrilling...nay, defiant?
As a business professional, I like 11pm. More than friend. We have a steady relationship, 11pm and I. Until recently.
With my little theater group and others, I've been staying up and out til all hours of the night after my shows. The charm has yet to wear off - I feel like I'm 19 again.
Will it catch up with me? Well, the burning in my eyes today and the accommodating glasses are telling me it already has. Closing night is this weekend, so me and my burning eyes will keep on defying the laws of sleep for a venture into the world of nocturnal creatures. Well, except for raccoons...I've had about enough of them.
(Don't be fooled by the cute factor)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Friend Constipation

I was having a hilarious dinner conversation with a dear friend recently.
Sensitive readers may not want to continue.
I was mentioning how sometimes I feel as if I have reached my friend cap, but then find the ability to expand.
I related it to a fat belly - you stuff yourself as full as you possibly can feel and then soon enough you are able to have just a little more and a little more.

Her response? "I have to poo one out first."

Monday, October 11, 2010

Repeat Offender

I was recently thinking back about this young man I once dated.
We went on dates for a few weeks and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I realized there was no one else I was particularly interested in dating, so I told him just that and he became the boyfriend.
That was on a Sunday.
The very next Friday night, a mere five days later, he broke up with me.
The very next Saturday morning he came over to break up with me again. What was this? A two for one special?
About a month later he started asking me to do things again and please don't ask me what this dumb girl was thinking because I was suckered into it.
He courted me for a few more weeks and then I went on a long trip.
When I returned he avoided me like the plague. Ok, message sent and received. Immature, but point taken.
Then he called to talk well after the time it was clear he no longer desired my company.
And he begged me to let him come over... so he could break up with me a third time.

Seriously? Who does that?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

1940s Radio Hour

I am excited to announce I will be playing the part of Ginger Brooks in a hilarious, charming musical about a New York City Radio Station during Christmas of 1942. The show is full of 1940s music and dancing - right up my alley!

So who is Ginger? I love this character description! I have always wanted to play the "sexy one," and now I get to try my acting chops at it! I honestly did not even know I was up for this role. I heard the part of the young, innocent one was cast and figured I was out of luck.

Ginger is the bubble-headed waitress-turned-star discovery of Lou's who found her in a restaurant where she still works and conned Clifton into signing her on. Caricatured but the parody is her own. Leads with her lower lip like Betty Boop. Pinup, Betty Grable look. She rehearses in a slip. Chews gum but takes it out of her mouth and holds it while she's performing. When she's sitting and her legs are crossed, and she's not adjusting the seams in her stockings, she wiggles her foot back and forth. Always moving. Has the biggest Keane blue eyes in history. Has a cab driver boyfriend named Bruno. Gets away with murder. Acts as Connie's big sister. Speaks with a Gracie Allen vacancy. Her makeup is as important as the War and is always "thick and perfect."

When I called my parents to share the good news with them, my mother didn't even tell me congratulations. All she said was, "This doesn't interfere with you coming home for Christmas does it?" lol.

Performances: Dec. 1 (preview), 2, 3,4,6, 9, 13, 14, 17, 18 at Midvale Performing Arts center on behalf of West Jordan city and Sugar Factory Playhouse.

See you there!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I Spoke Too Soon

Apparently I did get a part in the show I auditioned for - they just didn't call me before the cast list was announced. Oops:-)
More later.

Friday, October 8, 2010


One of the bloggers I follow had this "worst date ever" story competition. I submitted my story and I WON!
I knew that story was a doozie!
You can read about it here.
No, really, go to her blog and read my sad tale.

This is a sparkling gem admist this lump-of-coal kinda day.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


I didn't do shows for about 7 years, mostly because I felt that, even though Ohio accepted me, I wasn't good enough for the Utah over-saturated-with-over-achieving-talent scene.
Last spring ('09), my darling Leah convinced me to audition for a couple of shows with her (2 shows in 1 audition? sure!)

And you know what? They liked me! And I've been hooked ever since. Not only hooked, but extremely blessed. I've been reflecting on just how blessed as of late.

Audition 1 - Callbacks, wanted for a role but direct knew audition 2 had first dibs on me
Audition 2 - Callbacks, offered a lead role
Audition 3 - Callbacks, but had decided I wanted to be in show of Audition 4
Audition 4 - Offered a lead role without even having callbacks
Audition 5 - Callbacks, offered small role, I respectfully declined
Audition 6 - Callbacks, I respectfully declined the callback due to accepting role from audition 7
Audition 7 - Callbacks, offered a lead role
Audition 8 - Callbacks, offered a lead role
Audition 9 - Callbacks, ensemble - no thanks - I promised myself I'd take a break if not a lead

I truly feel I've had more than my fair share of luck. A 9 for 9 callback record? Offered lead roles in 5 of the 9 (5 of 8 if only counting callbacks I went to)? I am overwhelmed with gratitude for being able to continually do something I love, something that fulfills me and makes me entirely happy. The world is full of surprises and I am good enough!

So why am I so upset about not being offered a role for the latest audition? I know it had absolutely nothing to do with talent in this situation - I simply didn't fit what the director was looking for for the one part my looks fit. I may or may not have have been as talented as those offered other roles, but my age and look and color don't fit. What can you do? But still. *sigh* I guess being rejected never is easy. And this does free me up to audition for a show at a higher-quality theater where I would actually love to accept a chorus role, but that is a month or two away. Until then I'll just relax:-)

Now...what exactly is relaxing and how does one do this....hmmmm???

*Update* 10/10
Looks like I DID get a part, I just somehow missed that I had to call a number instead of them calling me. How blessed can I possibly be? 6/9 (6/8 if you count callbacks I actually went to)!!!


Falling is a feeling of complete loss of control.

Many people refer to "falling" in love - as if we have no control in this feeling and decision.
Perhaps this is why many like me are resistant to the concept - we need to retain control.
The funny thing is, even to those "falling," our partner is someone we choose, and to pretend we don't is just a farce.

I have a lot of friends who hate on love, but I think that's just because they haven't found someone they would like to choose to love or would like to choose to love them. This doesn't mean love doesn't exist. To all those naysayers, hang-in there and you will know when the time is right to choose to let go and fall.


So have you ever had private e-mails going back and forth and then decided you wanted to tell that person some exciting news that you also wanted to share with a few other people?
Have you ever been stupid enough to CC all four individuals with the aforementioned private communications still attached to the bottom?
Welcome to my morning.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Show Choir!

I am bursting at the seams with pride.


Glee (if you don't know what this is, you are living under a rock) is all the rage these days and bringing far more publicity to show choirs than I thought possible or necessary.

Glee also takes place at a fictional high school about thirty minutes from where I grew up.

Were our football players really singers and dancers? Oh yes.
Did we have pregnant members? Yes again.
Cheerleaders? Check.
Sassy gay friends? Double check.
Very passionate younger director? Yep.
Blue slushies? Not so much.
Black-listed? Eh...I thought the show choir kids were rather a group of more social elite at the school, but I could have a biased/warped perception.
A highly over-proportionate number of Asians? No offense to Middle America, but we lacked a lot of racial diversity.

Anyway, to the point.

Parade has compiled a list of the top 25 show choirs in the country.

Congratulations to my show choir - The Company from Piqua, Ohio! Watch them here. Vote for them here.

Oh - and let your freak flag fly:-)

Monday, October 4, 2010

A Kitty on a Hill Cannot be Hid

After getting a little frustrated with moving around the temporary second lovesac in my home every time I wanted to watch TV or vacuum or open the blinds, I used my negative energy to roll it into my bedroom and pile it on top of the one I already own.

Looks like little kitty found herself a throne. Maybe I'm a nerd, but I cannot get over how precious this is:-)


Looks like I'm going to have a little trouble getting a handle on things...


Remember X?
The reason I had to encounter this individual has been preliminarily terminated and I am now frrreeeeeeee (and X is officially blocked)!


Not only is Vertigo the name of a truly delectable Hitchcock film, but it is also the diagnosis of the current illness I am experiencing.

Vertigo is basically being dizzy - where your body thinks you are moving, especially your eyes, even when you are sitting on your duff. How did I get it? No idea. Doc said little virus's can cause it and it usually goes away in a couple of days.

Let's talk about the nausea that causes...or not, too painful of a memory and I don't want it to think I like it and return because I'm talking about it.

But let's talk about how frightening it is when you awake with your world spinning and have no idea what the cause is. I had two wonderful young men come and give me a blessing, then one helped me make my way to instacare since I was in no condition to drive.

I found the most intriguing thing the doctor shared was that when I tried to focus my eyes on one spot, they would shake back and forth because my body thought I was still moving. So strange.

I was given a magical bum shot, which cleared my nausea and knocked me out within 15 minutes. Then I was pretty much a couch decoration the rest of the day.

In case you are wondering, I recommend the movie, not the illness.