Dreams: Having a Baby and Kissing Handsome Men

Most of you may not find this interesting, but if you like crazy dreams or know a thing or two about them, read on.  My dream two nights ago was probably the most vivid I have had in a long time.

I was pregnant.  But I didn't look pregnant.  As a matter of fact, I'd done a show at 7 months and no one even noticed my little pooch except for me.  My family knew, but no one knew who the father was.  I was laying on my couch in Ohio and started to go into labor.  My mother convinced me to relax and so I drifted off to sleep, only to wake up right as the baby insisted on coming.  I tried to catch the child myself, but my parents - who were also delivering (ew) told me to let them take care of it.  Within a minute, I had a little boy.

My mother said a first and middle name and I said, "That's his name!"  She said that I didn't have to name him that just because she said it and I replied, "Well, I've never even though of little boy names, so that one will work just fine."  It was a very plain name, but I can't for the life of me remember it now.  I just remember it was a very plain, yet antiquated name I never would have picked.

I kept falling asleep and then waking up and the setting changed from my home in Ohio to my condo in Utah.  Soon, my entire family on my mother's side started showing up for a party/movie night.  They all congratulated all of us on the new baby, but no one seemed to know he was mine or that he had just been born.  As I was drifting in and out, I kept waking up in a panic wondering where my baby had gone to, but someone was always holding him.

I thought I needed to feed him, but my family told me he didn't need to eat.  I looked at my stomach and everything was as taut as it is now.  I experienced no pain in the delivery and was having no soreness post-delivery.  I was shocked and wondered why I'd waited so long and have been so scared to have a baby.  I was concerned I'd seen no placenta, but in the dream remembered it was a dream so things work differently.

Since my family was watching the baby, I went across the hall to another apartment (there is no "across the hall" at my condo, FYI), whereupon a very handsome, muscular man snuck up behind me and gave me a huge hug.  I turned around and smooched him a good one - that kind that means love.  He told me how much he loved me, kissed me again, and I woke up.

I guess he was the father?  Regardless, I never ever ever have kissing dreams, so that was kinda fun!  But what is it with me and the babies when I have no maternal instincts whatsoever?  And maybe I shouldn't eat myself into a food coma at Cheesecake Factory right before bed...

Dreams: Ugly Babies

The other night I had a dream. I recalled this dream upon seeing a photo of a baby. Nightmare, maybe?

In this dream, I was having a baby. Now, for those of you who know me, you know that having a baby is not something that ever occupies my thoughts. Perhaps someday, not now.

I was not married. My mother and sisters were there and not judgmental in the slightest, but I knew my mother was disappointed in me for getting pregnant out of wedlock. Maybe TMI, but funny, so I shall mention I remember thinking there hadn't been more than eight occurrences and how did that happen and what a huge mistake.

I didn't experience labor in this dream, just laying there on a bed waiting for them to hand me the baby. What a creature it was. Let's talk about really hideously ugly with a long pointy nose. I thought, "But his daddy was so handsome, how did this happen?" Then the kicker, the baby laughed when he was 5 minutes old, then said a word when he was just a few hours old, "Chocolate." I responded by looking at my sister and saying, "uh...did you hear that? Is he supposed to say that?" I can't recall the time frame, but the baby started growing up very quickly - ages 1 minute to 2 years happened in about 20 minutes, he started walking and talking. I was totally creeped out by this little creature and thought, "Mothers all think their babies are adorable and beautiful, but I'm going to admit right now I am so disappointed in this baby's looks. How can a mother not know when her child is ugly? Cause this one is hideously ugly, wrinkly, looks like an old man...and is creepy."

Flash forward in the dream a few months. I'd woken up from a nap and my mother was babysitting and she handed him back to me. The joy! The baby had grown pretty! I said to him, "I am so happy, your parents are both beautiful and I knew you would become attractive!"

I did watch "Glee" right before bed, which could bring about this mild state of psychosis, however, w-o-w. I'm disturbed.