Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Confidence

Confidence is interesting. I used to try when I was younger, and I never pulled it off. Now I don't try and it's there.

I once had a man friend, who was trying to figure out my age, tell me, "Well, I'd guess you are pretty young by the way you look, but you are too confident to be young." Huh.

Some men are attracted to confident women, but I can testify with 1,000% certainty that some men are extremely turned off by this. Being the independent woman I am, I suppose I wouldn't want the ones who are turned off by it anyway.

But it does make me wonder - how independent is too independent? Where is the line?

And I just realized I tie "confident" and "independent" together. They really do go hand-in-hand. Or do they?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I Want You / I Need You

A couple of weeks ago, I received this sweet text: "I can just see so much self-confidence in you. You don't need some guy to make you happy, because you are already. At least, that is what I see when I look at you."

This intrigued me. I don't need a man to be happy, but I want the man I'm with to know he's a great part of my life and I would never want him to feel he isn't desired.

A few days later, a friend shared with me this: "There is a difference between, 'Of all the places I could be right now, I choose to be here with you,' and, 'I can't be anywhere unless I am with you.'

This difference is what makes a man feel wanted and a man feel needed. Apparently most want to feel wanted, not needed.

I'm not quite sure where the line is between the two. As I'm quite sure I've given off both vibes simultaneously to different parties, but it got me started on thinking of ways to continue to improve myself.

On a side note - Google analytics gave me a giggle this morning when I saw the report that someone found my blog by Googling "butt slapping." What the?

Monday, November 22, 2010

1940s Radio Hour in the News

A fun little article on my show is here.



I don't know why no one can ever spell my name right.

But in the caption for the picture, our names aren't even right - funny stuff! I hear in the print version, the names under the photo don't even match ours. I guess I'll go by "Shyanne Williams" from now on, since that's what they named me:-)

Here's the article:

Celebrate the holidays with the nostalgic West Jordan Theater Arts production of "1940's Radio Hour".

West Jordan Theater Arts' Holiday Show takes you back in time. The year is 1942 in New York City and radio station WOV is presenting its Christmas show, the "1940's Radio Hour." In a time period when radio was the lifeline to news and entertainment, everyone gathered around the radio.

Come watch and enjoy wonderful music like "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," "Baby, It's Cold Outside," "I'll Be Home for Christmas," "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and more. See Johnny Cantone the Frank Sinatra wannabe, and Biff doing his last show before he is sent overseas to join a fighter squadron. See Neal the comedian, waiting for his big break. You'll hear from BJ, Ann, Ginger, Geneva, and Connie (an 18-year old bobby sockser from Ogden who wants to be a star). Pops, Lou, Clifton, Wally the drug store delivery boy and other great characters fill out the radio station staff.

The amazing casts of vocalists and performers includes Ann-Megan Smyth, Ginger-Larrissa Villers (Spelling, folks!!! - One "R"!) , Geneva-Rossy Moreno, Connie-Nichole Omana, Johnny-Lucas Millhouse, Neal-Mike Muren, BJ-Cody Crabb, Biff-Dustin Chipman, Wally-Wes King, Pops-Lee Watkins, Lou-Dave Newton, Clifton-Tim Frost, Featured Dancer-Marcy Muren, and Usherettes-Vickie Chapman, Joanne Frost, Jesie Ibrahim, Ann Sharp and Stacy Snider.

Dave Newton has built an amazing set, and director Rosalie Richards and music director Harli Zaugg have brought the 1940's back to life. Music is provided by Cheryl Neilson and Ralph Faneus, and production assistance provided by Jen Crabb and Pat Oliver.

Performances will be at the Midvale Performing Arts Center (695 West 7720 South) on Dec. 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, 13, 14, 17, and 18 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are available at the West Jordan Maceys and at the door--Adults $7 and children, seniors and students $4.

CAPTION: Starring in "1940s Radio Hour" are, from left, Allison Gardiner, Lauren Madsen, Shannon Boswell and Shyanne Williams. Dave Newton is in the foreground.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Fluffy Blankets

I bought a blanket at Sam's Club. A fluffy one. I want to snuggle it. Hard. And a lot. It is in my trunk. I need cozy blanket snuggles.
I am astounded with how those blanket creators find ways to make them softer and softer.
I swear Sam's Club bamboozles me every year into buying a new throw blanket more angelic, more cloud-like. Mmm....fluffy blanket.
I sometimes like for my condo temperature to be a little cold just so I can layer up and get all cozy under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate or soup. Makes everything feel so right.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Human Super-Human Powers

I've noticed I have an uncanny ability to know how much time is left on the timer - without looking. I know you are all jealous.

Just this morning I had my breakfast in the microwave and turned back around as the timer hit 1 second left. I regularly bake and seem to enter the kitchen right when there are only a few seconds left. When people ask me what time it is, I can usually guess within 5 minutes. Not every time, but usually - and sometimes it freaks me out a little.

So, that's my totally human super-human power.

Do you have one? If not, what superhero power would you choose to have?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Huggy

I am not a snuggle ho. A man must earn snuggle privileges and I'm pretty particular.

That being said, lately I would like nothing more than to just be held.

I have lots of man friends who give me abundant squeezes that tide me over until someone earns the rights to be my snuggle buddy. I'm pretty soft and huggy:-)
(Gals - Girl hugs are perfectly acceptable, but do not try to girl snuggle me - that makes me extremely uncomfortable)

I've also got my little purring tiny tiger who loves me to carry her around and hold her and let her sit on my lap or curl into the nook of my arm.

But there is nothing like a warm, masculine human embrace. Nothing like the electricity in someone's touch and the comfort of being held in someone's arms - the rest of the world vanishes. The bonus of my being particular is that I know, once I do have someone, he'd rather be nowhere else than holding me. *sigh* *double sigh*

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bandwagon: Christmas Music

Everyone seems to be jumping on this bandwagon: "Oh, oh I am so appalled to hear Christmas music prior to Thanksgiving. Oh, oh the world is coming to an end because people forget to celebrate Thanksgiving."

I don't know about you, but I am certainly not forgetting to celebrate Thanksgiving. Who can forget that turkey and the love of family and giving thanks for all our blessings? No one I know. Does hearing a Christmas song change that? Nope.

Do I listen to Christmas music prior to Thanksgiving? No. But I am in a Christmas show, so I've been performing it in rehearsals for a few weeks. And I will be setting up my tree this weekend to have it there in all its twinkling splendor when I arrive home from NYC and it is actually Christmas time. I'll be there as Santa rounds the corner in the Macy's Thanksgiving parade, assuring me that the time is now appropriate to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year.

In all my efforts to not listen to the music before everyone has deemed it socially acceptable (although, I really could care less what you do), I got bamboozled by my very own ipod yesterday at the gym - I added all of my Sinatra songs and, well, apparently there was a Christmas song...boy oh boy....I was singing along in my head before I knew what hit me. Sneaky little son of a gun...
I promptly hit the "next" button.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Dreams: Killer Whales and Sharks

I have not been watching "Jaws." I have not been watching documentaries on Discovery Channel. I am not on drugs of any kind. Any of these would explain my dreams last night.

I dreamt I was standing on an observation deck at the top of a cliff, watching many boaters and surfers in the waves. Then one of the boats capsized. I saw the three people swimming away, all in different directions. One made it to safety in a cove off the cliff where there were other people hanging out. I then saw a huge, ominous, dark shape underneath one of the swimmers. The man was screaming as the killer whale broke the surface of the water, grasping its victim, and hurling itself into the air whilst biting the man in half. Everyone else observing was aghast, yet it was almost as if we were watching a movie - with people saying, "Oh my, did that whale just eat that man?" Uh, a little more drama, please! This whale was also unlike any other killer whale I've seen - it was more of a Megalodon in size - ginormous. The whale then devoured the second person in a similar fashion. I woke up before the second boat of capsized people could be eaten.

I usually dream about sharks - they scare the snot out of me, yet I can't tear myself away from Shark Week, stupid shark movies, photos, you name it. This, however, is my first time with killer whales. I wonder what it means?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

One Reason to Blog

Why do I blog?
Lots of reasons! But here is one:
Potential suitors can read my blog and find the answers to all of their questions regarding how to handle me in a relationship or how to handle me not in a relationship. Someone recently utilized this resource and knew how to best communicate with me. Now everyone is happy, all catastrophes averted, and no feelings injured!
See, blogging = good!
I should make my blog required reading for any man before I agree to a date...hmmm....

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Wrong Impression

What do you do if you know someone believes something about you that is not true? What do you do if you know you will no longer encounter that person to influence any belief to the contrary?

I'm struggling. I acted in an immature, rash manner around a sweet, kind individual. Then I continued to let the crazies grasp me and plead for forgiveness (in spite of the fact that the person said it didn't matter and all was forgiven) over the course of two days - I'm sure convincing this individual that I am mean and crazy.

But what's done is done. And I can't go back and change my actions. All I can do is persevere towards never repeating that mistake. But that one person out there...that one person who believes I am someone who is as far from the truth of who I am....man, that gives me indigestion. Perhaps this would be easier if I weren't so darned used to being so sickeningly sweet to everyone around that the mere thought of someone disliking me or of purposefully hurting them in any way is simply preposterous.

I've expressed my theory that if someone thinks you are crazy, everything you do reinforces their belief regarding all your crazies. So, really, all I can do is just sit back and hope it is all water under the bridge and that someday, somehow this person will know the truth.

What do you think? Ever had a similar experience? I know the atonement covers all pains, no matter how little, and time will help, it's rough right now is all.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Bohemian Rhapsody and Baton Twirling

While on my daily date with Gym yesterday, my Ipod gifted my ears with "Bohemian Rhapsody"...Glee style.

Instead of sending me into fits of Wayne's World head-banging frenzy, I found myself reviewing choreography. Yep, you best believe my baton competition team twirled to this song when I was fifteen. Commence laughter, but it rocked...literally...it was a mash-up of "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "We Will Rock You."

I've been able to bust out my baton for a few of my shows over the past two years and I cannot describe the feeling - the most I can conjure is that it must be the sense of "right" that Harry Potter feels when he picks up his wand.

I watch others play with my baton all awkward and afraid. My baton is an extension of my arm - I spent twelve years of my life with that piece of metal in my hand. I'm actually pretty rusty now, but when I wrap my fingers around the baton, I feel as if I'm home.

I loved twirling baton. I loved competing. I loved dancing. I loved practicing so hard I spun holes in the bottoms of my shoes. I loved learning to work with a team. I even loved getting a fat lip so huge, my lips would touch when my mouth was open.

What passions in life do you have that make you feel home?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Pranks and Giggle Fits

I had a giggle fit last night if ever I've had one.

One of those fits where you can't even get the story out and the people listening start busting up laughing as well - not at the story, but at you. One of those fits where you feel alive.

I thought about the story again this afternoon and had another good giggle session - all by myself in my car. Hm.

A few years ago, Target offered a wake-up call service to ensure you didn't miss their Black Friday sales. You had to register online and then confirm by calling in from the phone you registered.

I love a good prank. Hard. Naturally, since I lived with my lil sissy at the time, I registered her for all three days of post-Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza wake-up calls. I even selected the voice of a sweet little old grandma - the one she'd least likely hang up on and most likely believe.

Oh dear...here I go giggling again.

The day after Thanksgiving she comes wandering out of her room at some late afternoon hour, sleepies in her eyes, "I got the strangest call this morning at 5 am. Some little old lady wanted me to shop at Target..."

Saturday afternoon, "Dude, that little old lady called me at 5 am again today."

Sunday rolled around and she's ready for it this time. She was coherent enough to listen to the whole thing, and kept asking me, "Why does this little old lady keep calling me to shop at Target?" There was more detail about how exactly the lady greeted her and the funny words she used, but there is tragedy in this comedy because I don't remember and a Google search failed me.

She was baffled. She wondered how long the calls would last, and I'd say was almost disappointed when they stopped.

About a year later, I said to Sis, "Remember when that old lady kept calling you to shop at Target last year?"
Her eyes brightened as she got all excited and reiterated her confusion about the mysterious caller.

I confessed.

Awesome.

I wish Target would offer the wake-up calls again. I'm spending Thanksgiving with The Squirt and would find so much joy from pulling this off a second time.

You Smell Good

I think men greatly underestimate the power of a good cologne. I'm not talking the overpowering power - a light spritz can set a female into a frenzy, too much sends us to the Excedrin. I feel like a man is trying to do a little extra something special when he tries to smell good for me - even if it is just Old Spice deodorant or being freshly showered or wearing freshly laundered clothes. I'd actually prefer the three aforementioned items to a man wearing a weird cologne...cause not all cologne is good. Men, ask a lady friend to go shopping for some with you or tell you her favorites for you to try. Better yet, go to Sephora. Those ladies are geniuses.

On that note, I think men appreciate a good-smelling woman too. Granted, with all of our froo-froo anti-bacterial hand washes and shampoos and lip balms, we are more inclined towards smelling delectable without the aid of a spritz.

As proof, I would like to thank the following young men for confirming my theory and telling me I smelled good on Sunday: Jon, Chris, Blake, Todd, David, Logan, Rich, and Kelly.
And I'd particularly like to thank Blake and Logan, who couldn't even carry on a conversation because they were so distracted by my "Pink Sugar." Silly boys...now go buy some for your girlfriends.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Strong

I was told today I am a strong personality who is honest and tells it like it is, not a chameleon "people pleaser."

I'm not quite sure how to take that. Is it good or bad? I always thought I was a "people pleaser." And I normally, in my politically correct lingo, refer to rude people as people who "tell it like it is."

I'm stumped.

Email Reading

Most of the time, when someone sends me an email, I go back and read what I originally wrote first. Conceited, or thorough? Hm.

Deliver Them From Evil: The Taking of Alta View

Have you had a Lifetime Original movie made based on your real-life events?
Cause I met someone who has:-)

What a treat from the same people who brought us "My Stepson, My Lover," "Crimes of Passion: She Woke Pregnant," and "Mother Trucker: The Diana Kilmury Story." Check out IMDB here.

Summary: A man assaults the Alta Vista Hospital taking four women, a man and two babies as hostages. He wants to kill Dr. Garrick, who, according to Worthington, ruined his life sterilizing his wife.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Pointless

I was going on dates with a young man once who then proclaimed he didn't want a girlfriend for at least three years. Well, being the non-dummy I am, I knew that immediately meant, "I like you, but not that much." And, I also knew that I wasn't going to waste my time any longer.

Flash-forward to now.

I'm not looking for a serious relationship right off the bat with someone, but I'd like to know that the possibility of a committed relationship is at least in the cards. What is the point of dating if it isn't? I never have quite understood that concept...

Yes, right now I am looking to have fun and spend time with someone and just get to know him and enjoy each others' company and take things easy and the list goes on. But in the end? I want a relationship. There it is, out for all the world to know. And if you don't want one eventually? Don't waste my time.

I'm in no hurry, but I do want to know that there is at least a possibility that one day a man I am dating will want to commit to me (boyfriend status). And I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

Friday, November 5, 2010

I'm Proud of You

One of our jobs in life, I feel, is to make things better.

I believe the same with parenting - we have experienced and watched what our own parents have done and are now equipped with the knowledge to hopefully do just as well, if not better, with our own children.

One of the attributes my parents have that I hope to always, always apply in my life - whether I have children of my own or am simply an influence - is to let them know I am proud of them.

My parents are the best at this! I can recall countless situations when I went to my father in tears about something and all he would do is thoughtfully listen, then respond, "Riss, I'm proud of you for telling me," or, "Riss, I'm proud of the decision you made."

I have always been one of those people who punishes myself more than anyone else ever could. My parents know this and know, more than a punishment, I need encouragement. And they always give that to me.

I cannot begin to fathom how much the world would be a different place if we were all constantly strengthened with the knowledge that our parents are proud of us.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Hot Smoothies

You all know I love me some Roxberry Smoothies.

I was lamenting a little inside today because now the weather is getting so cold that partaking of these treats may do me more harm than good. I am one of those perma-chilled gals. Which reminds me, I just read the phrase, "Snuggle like bunnies on a cold winter's night," and thought,"Mmm...that sounds nice."

Uh...I digress!

I was also thinking, "Wouldn't a warm smoothie be delicious?" Then all I could think about was soup ground into chunky drinkability, because, really, what else would a hot smoothie be? And then I was disgusted and disappointed.

Dreams: Broadway Theater

I dreamt last night I was in a theater buying tickets to a show, but somehow ended up with "Promises, Promises." Which was fine, but I wanted to see "Memphis."

I told the people in the lobby about the three-minute-earlier error and they giggled and said they'd take care of me.

Meanwhile, two friends showed up (anonymous in this dream) and we were able to venture to the rafters of the theater because the stage door was open. While following them, I saw a person/ghost. Not sure how I knew it was a ghost, but I did.

I ran back down to the lobby and asked the folks there if the theater was haunted, to which they replied in the affirmative.

I woke up before I could finish freaking out about the ghost, yet was still more disgruntled about having tickets to the wrong show.

Yes, I am excited about my upcoming trip to NYC. Yes, I just bought a ticket to "Memphis."

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I'm Talking to You

One of my friends was observing me on Friday night. I feel awkward writing that, but there is no other way to put it - I was being observed.

He pointed out that whenever I talk to someone, I point my shoulders their direction. There is no question as to whose conversation I am interested in, or where my attention is focused.

As embarrassed as I was, I find this overall a good statement. I love people. I love learning about them and letting them know I care and am truly interested in what they are saying.

There was also some discussion that I pose when I am being introduced, but that is just a bunch of bologna. I refuse to acknowledge any validity of the observation.

Next time you see my shoulders squared your direction, feel the love!

Telephone Repairs

Monday night I was at a restaurant and dropped my phone from a bar stool. Upon recovery, I opened the phone to see that the inside screen no longer worked. Visions of the bills from purchasing a new phone started scrolling through my mind.

I showed my fellow diner the damage, then a spark of genius ignited within me.

I threw the phone down again.

Totally worked. All smiles.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Bed Wetting


I wet the bed last night.

Wait! It's not what you think!

I was sitting on my bed with my laptop and my huge bottle of water when I heard the *beep, beep, beep* on my phone that means someone loves me. I walked over to the phone, I responded with reciprocal love and turned around to see a dark spot on my bed. Right where I was sitting. Couldn't quite figure that out. Then I saw the guilty bottle - 20 of the 28 ounces gone.

I left for a couple hours and returned to the dry side of the bed, but kitty curled up right on the wet spot...which I found odd to say the least.

This morning the spot is dry, but there is a ring on my 2-year old fancy schmancy mattress. Grrr. At least my sheets are now freshly laundered.

Lesson? Wetting the bed is never a good idea.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Forgiveness on Death Row

Yesterday I had the most amazing, enlightening experience.

Bishop Bradshaw, a guest speaker, shared a powerful message with us in a special combined third-hour meeting at church. He was the Bishop in the Utah state prison system for eight years. During that time, through a series of humorous and frightening events, he became acquainted with Ronnie Lee Gardner. For those of you who don't know, Ronnie Lee Gardner was the man executed by firing squad in Utah on June 10 for two murders.

After his time serving as Bishop, he was able to visit the prison quarterly, always with a request from Ronnie to meet. He was able to develop a relationship with Ronnie and witness him try over and over again to become a better man. Let me be clear, Bishop Bradshaw saw Ronnie as a son of God, but felt Ronnie should die for his crimes. Ronnie also felt very certain he should die for his crimes. But these two men were able to change each other.

Bishop Bradshaw was able to spend most of the evening with Ronnie the night he was executed. He sat and talked with Ronnie while he ate his last meal, discussing everything you can imagine you would talk about if you knew you only had four hours to live.

One item they discussed was a phone call Ronnie received from the son of one of the men he had killed 25 years earlier. This son was now a Harvard grad with a bright future. The two of them talked and the son concluded with, "Ronnie, I forgive you."

Bishop Bradshaw shared with us how Ronnie wept and wept recounting that conversation. How important it was to him that he knew he was forgiven and knew there was always a chance for forgiveness.

Then Bishop asked us to look around the room and think about what we were holding onto in our own lives for which we needed to issue forgiveness. If this man who grew up without a father, whose dad was stolen from him, can forgive the man who took him, then cannot we too forgive those around us for the petty grievances we are holding onto?

What a powerful experience. How magnificent sitting in that chapel listening to this man speak with such a lighthearted and sincere love for a man he fully knew deserved to die. I have definitely re-thought a few "I forgive you's" I've been holding onto, and have definitely re-thought how I will change this in my life from here forward.

Smile!

Teeth are very important.

I smiled at myself in the mirror this morning, cause, really, there's a lot of reasons to smile! Anyway, there was this creeper looking back at me.

When smiling, teeth are very important. Some people can pull off the whole no-teeth scenario. I cannot.

Do you smile with or without your teeth?