Saturday, November 13, 2010

Wrong Impression

What do you do if you know someone believes something about you that is not true? What do you do if you know you will no longer encounter that person to influence any belief to the contrary?

I'm struggling. I acted in an immature, rash manner around a sweet, kind individual. Then I continued to let the crazies grasp me and plead for forgiveness (in spite of the fact that the person said it didn't matter and all was forgiven) over the course of two days - I'm sure convincing this individual that I am mean and crazy.

But what's done is done. And I can't go back and change my actions. All I can do is persevere towards never repeating that mistake. But that one person out there...that one person who believes I am someone who is as far from the truth of who I, that gives me indigestion. Perhaps this would be easier if I weren't so darned used to being so sickeningly sweet to everyone around that the mere thought of someone disliking me or of purposefully hurting them in any way is simply preposterous.

I've expressed my theory that if someone thinks you are crazy, everything you do reinforces their belief regarding all your crazies. So, really, all I can do is just sit back and hope it is all water under the bridge and that someday, somehow this person will know the truth.

What do you think? Ever had a similar experience? I know the atonement covers all pains, no matter how little, and time will help, it's rough right now is all.


Dashbo said...

When I worked in a movie theater, I always managed to do something really stupid in front of her. I just knew that she thought I was an incompetent something-or-other. But one day after everything was closed down, there was a small group chatting and she was among us. In the conversation, (which had nothing to do with how stupid I was) she said that she thought I was a very intelligent individual. It really surprised me. But chances are people see you in a better light than what you think :)

Dashbo said...

wow that shouldn't have made it past the proof reader in my head. "she" refers to one of my bosses.