Friday, March 30, 2012

Onion Belly

I love onions.
Yum. Yum.
But sometimes they are too potent.  I find the purple ones are most often the guilty plant party.
And you are left with Onion Belly all day.  And often into the next morning.
There is this feeling almost as if the onion is fermenting and growing baby onions in your gut, whereupon you open your mouth and anyone within ten feet of you is automatically infected with Onion Belly Breath.
The worst is when you go running with Onion Belly - I swear it seeps out my pores and my sweat is no longer sweat, but little drops of onion juice.
Man, it's enough to make a girl give up on that bloomin' veggie.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

BYU Football Players and Pickle Juice

BYU Football players seriously drink pickle juice to help recover from sore muscles?  I am incredulous - you've got to watch.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


I've confused too many of you.

"Oh man, that guy is such a catch.  Too bad he's a fetus."

This statement does not mean I am referring to an actual baby-child-in-the-womb fetus.

This simply means that I am 31.  And he is most likely 24 or under.  Meaning, I'd be the sugar momma, the cougar, the go-to-gal, etc.  This isn't bad, just young.

Confusion cleared?
I did go to BYU, so I am technically a Cougar...

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Forgotten Scene

The week before a show opens, the cast and director get all sorts of technical about each scene - wanting to make sure that each little movement works.

We re-worked a scene for 45 minutes one Friday night and finally resolved that our positively brilliant director would make some written notes for us the following rehearsal.

Upon reaching the scene the next rehearsal, we began the new blocking and stopped when we no longer knew the new direction.  The director pipes up, "What are you guys doing?  What are you talking about?"

Would you believe we worked a scene for 45 minutes and he had absolutely zero recollection of the event?  He thought we were pulling one over on him and took some convincing to finally believe us.

Seriously one of the funniest things I've experienced in theater thus far.

Monday, March 26, 2012


I've never purchased a car in my life.

Until Monday March 19, 2012.

Back in 2003, I started thinking about letting go of my '93 Honda Civic EX in favor of something with a little less oldness.  I mean, isn't a right of passage after college graduation getting new wheels?   Yet, I'd look at cars and not get that excited feeling one gets when they know they are making the right decision.  Every time I have toyed with the idea for the past nine years, I immediately feel, "But my lil '93 is doing just fine!" 

About three weeks ago, a flip switched inside of me and I somehow knew it was finally time.

I argued with myself.  I loved having such a cushion in savings.  I loved knowing my vehicle so well that I could explain every grunt or groan.  I loved my insurance payments of about $400 for the entire year.  I loved not having to worry if someone bumped my car or scratched the paint.  The list goes on and on.  That '93 Civic EX has been from one coast to the other, east to west and north to south.  That '93 was with me all through college.  Every man I have ever kissed, I have kissed in that car. 

Hmmm...given that last reason, I guess it is high time for a fresh start.

Once I started looking for cars, researching, practically interviewing anyone and everyone who had a newer car, I could not contain my excitement.  All I could think about night and day was, "New car, new car, new car, newcarnewcarnewcarnewcar."  This is highly unusual for practical, budget-conscious little me, so I continued to move forward with this thing I have been looking forward to being right for nine years now.  I narrowed my options down to three - used Honda Civic (cash), new Subaru Impreza (finance $6,000), new Hyundai Sonata (finance $6,000).  I test drove and test drove.  After all the research and test drives, I thought I wanted a Sonata SE with the works, but couldn't seem to talk myself into being okay with having debt, even if it is for a car. 

On my way home from car shopping last Saturday with my mechanically-inclined friend, I saw a Civic EX in the color I wanted on a lot with over 30 other used Honda's.  We pulled in and looked it over, alas, it was closing time, the price was a little steep, and we were exhausted (I always giggle when I use the word "exhausted" whilst talking of cars)

From that moment forward, all I could think about was "LittleblueHondaCivicExLittleblueHondaCivicEx," so during my lunch break from work on Monday, I headed over to the dealership.  Sure it was above my cash price-range, but what's the worst that could happen?  Sure, I could have gotten an Lx in a different color for within my price-range, but if the difference is $1000 and I'm spending thousands already, I want the one in the color I want with a sunroof, additional more high-end features, and less body damage, dang it!

I drove the Civic for twenty minutes.  It made sense.  I wouldn't have to make payments, it would be mine, I know Civics, I trust Civics, they have a very high resale value, the maintenance is lower compared to Subaru's, they are more reliable than Hyundai's, the replacements parts are relatively inexpensive, and this one is under warranty until 60,000 miles. 

I didn't fall in love.  But I felt very calm and peaceful - which to me is much more of a real and certain feeling than the adrenalin of love.  No weird noises or vibrations, no brake noises, no catches, no clunks, no nothing.

I went into the guy and said, "Listen I have to get back to work, but here's the scoop.  I like this car.  The sticker is $XYZ.  If we can get this to $sameXYZ out-the-door I will buy it right now.  That's all I've got.  He said, "Well I can take the base price to $500lessthanXYZ, but after taxes that still leaves you at $XYZplus1200." 

"Man, well.  If the car is still here in a month after I've saved another thousand, I'll be back.  Can I give you my information so you can call me if we can make this work?" 

He said, "Well wait a minute.  What's that you are driving?  Are you interested in a trade-in?"  I looked at him and said, "If you give me enough for that '93 out there to make my out-the-door price under $XYZ, I'm sold."  He took Poopers for a test drive and came back and said, "Listen, that car is not worth $1,000.  It drives nice and tight, you've taken VERY good care of it, tell your mechanic friends they have done a great job.  But the body defects are pretty bad."  Yeah.  Duh.

He said, "Well...if it'll get you in the '09, I'll give you $1,000 for the trade-in because I can probably sell it for $1,200."  The most a dealership had offered me for it previously was $400.  Yep, it's an awesome day when you find out your couch is worth more than your car. 

We did the math...and the total price came in to just under $XYZ.

There is a funny thing that happens when you buy a car.  All of a sudden, you make this decision and *bam* that's it.  You are in a committed relationship that you can't back out of.  You are $XYZ out of your savings.  You have this new machine that will be a part of your life every single day.  The friendship you built with your old machine for thirteen years is now over.  Done.  Just like that.  I knew that old car in and out - every noise, every whine, every positive, every negative - I knew that car.  Then in a matter of moments, I'm giving it up in favor of a new relationship.  I still feel kinda like I'm cheating on the ole '93 and now I have to get to know something new - that's hard work!

The drive home and back to the dealership to get my title and extra key were the longest fifteen minutes in recent memory.  Less than 30 minutes later I was the owner of a shiny blue '09 Civic EX.  Yes, I left on lunch break and less than two hours later returned to work with a new car.

The other good news?  My '93s gas tank was on empty (totally on E), I was supposed to get an oil change Saturday morning but ran out of time, and I was also due for Safety and Emissions.  SO, had I done all that on Saturday like I intended, I'd have been out another $110 or so.  Nice for me.

Maybe that is way more than you ever wanted to know about my car-buying experience but there you have it.

'09 Civic Ex
'93 Civic Ex

Friday, March 23, 2012

Color Test

Your Existing Situation

Desires to be respected by others in order to gain their trust and support for her own personal gain.

Your Stress Sources

"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."

Your Restrained Characteristics

"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy."
Feels as if too many walls and obstacles are standing in her way and that she is being forced to make compromises. she needs to put her own needs on hold for the time being.

Your Desired Objective

Relies on love and friendship to bring her happiness. she is in constant need for approval and this makes her willing to help others in exchange for love and understanding. she is open to new ideas as long as they are productive and interesting.

Your Actual Problem

"Feeling unimportant in this current situation, and is looking for different conditions where she will be able to better prove her worth and importance."

Thursday, March 22, 2012


Have you ever been praying and praying about a decision and your answer, over and over again, is "Patience"? 

Maybe this thing is something you want to take action on one way or the other so badly that you feel the weight in an almost physical manner?

And know without a question that the best and only decision for you is to have patience?

I've been blessed with the patience bug for years.

Nine years ago, I wanted a new car.  But I didn't feel it was right.  And so goes the next nine years.  So goes the questions like, "Larissa, you have a good job, get a better car?"  So goes the constant reinforcement of the idea that I was a poor college student because they saw my ride.  But it wasn't right.  Yeah, I pray about buying cars:-)  I'm big into the Big Guy like that. About three weeks ago, I started feeling, as if a light switched, "Buy a car now."  I couldn't shake it.  I researched and researched and researched and test drove and, you get the point.  Nine years I wanted a new car and I finally bought one on Monday.  The check just cleared the bank today - she's officially mine.   I'll tell you all about it later.

The point right now is patience.  Clearly, I have an infection with the patience bug when it comes to relationships too.  But I know when the time is right, I'll feel that switch flip just as I did with the car. 

Could you share your experiences?  Whether it is a professional decision, moving, college, having children, or has patience worked in your life?
I don't know who this guy is, but I wouldn't mind being patient on that couch with him...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Arsenic and Old Lace

How have I not mentioned some very exciting information?!

I'm in Arsenic and Old Lace!  We open Friday!

Any Cary Grant fans out there?  You gotta love him from the old black and white film version.  I'm playing Elaine Harper, the love interest of leading man, Mortimer Brewster.

For the first time ever, I can promise you there will be zero off-key singing or forgotten dance moves in this show.  How can I promise that?  Well, it isn't a musical:-)

As our producer has written:
Arsenic and Old Lace, written by Joseph Kesserling in 1939, is a satirical, dark comedic romp about the Brewster family and the antics of one night. Aunts Abby and Martha care for their nephew Teddy who believes he is President Teddy Roosevelt. At the same time their other nephews Mortimer and Jonathon try to hide a murderous family secret. What follows is a three-act play depicting one 12 hour period at the Brewster home. Arsenic and Old Lace has been a fan favorite for over 70 years and this production will remind you of why you fell in love with this story in the first place … or will make you fall in love for the first time. Come find out why the family that slays together stays together.

Arsenic and Old Lace runs at 7:30pm on March 23, 24, 26, 28, 29, 30, 31 with a 2:00pm matinee on the 31st.  

The show is at Midvale Performing Arts Center at 695 West Center Street (7720 South) in Midvale.  You can buy tickets at the door for $7 or group rates are available by emailing  

Yes, you may recognize one of the stars of the movie "17 Miracles" in our cast.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Tag: I'm It!

Kristie (and several others) tagged me awhile ago to complete this lil blog challenge, but I spaced it.  So here it is, minus the re-tagging bit.

11 random things about me.
1. I have never had a car payment or any other form of debt in my life.
2. I can't give up on anything until I've given it every last bit of what I have.
3. I have not read nor viewed anything to do with Twilight.  It once came on in the cardio cinema when I was running my little heart out and I left to go to the regular cardio section.
4. I love Morningstar hot and spicy vegan breakfast "sausages" with a passion.  More specifically, I love to over-heat/near-burn them so they are a little more difficult to chew and crunchy like beef jerky.  Yum.
5. Sometimes, I just love getting dirty - like Ultimate Frisbee in the mud.  If you are gonna go, just go all the way.
6. I hope to someday promote the menu I lost four pounds on - it was called, "Chocolate milk and Peanut M&Ms."  Dead. Serious. 
7. A couple of years ago, I got pretty sick back-to-back.  I finally went to the doctor for round two and she did some tests and let me know I'd done permanent damage to my lungs because I didn't come in sooner.  Seeing the panic on my face, she let me know, "Oh don't worry, you'll be fine, except when you get sick, your lungs will just take longer to heal."  I hadn't experienced any of what she told me I would because, well, I hadn't been sick that way.  Two weeks ago I got sick that way.  All my other symptoms have been clear for four days now.  But my lungs?  Still itching like c-r-a-z-y and I dry-cough like an old man.  Lame. 
8. I firmly maintain my belief that going to the gym daily keeps me from getting ill.  The aforementioned two-week illness?  It struck on day four of not going to the gym - I was out of town and simply couldn't.  Tell me this doesn't only confirm my belief.  Sheesh.
9. I recently cleaned out the trunk of my '93 Honda Civic.  What was to be found?  Lots of tools, half a dozen softballs, a few frisbees, cones for marketing zones for ultimate frisbee, cheesy peanut butter crackers galore, oil, and transmission fluid.  I'm not so sure you'd have known I am a girl if you'd just looked in my trunk. 
10. I love doing laundry.  I love that fresh smell.  I even have a perfume scent "Fresh Laundry" that I spray in my gym bag every day and a rollerball called "Shower Fresh" for after gym.  But I kinda don't like putting laundry away at all.  In fact, my clean clothes often sit on my bedroom floor for a day or two before I get around to it.  This is from a self-professed neat-freak. 
11. I won an iPad2 for being employee of the year for work.  I used it for a couple weeks.  I haven't touched it in a couple months.  I feel guilty.  And I regret opening it, because if I hadn't, I could even-exchange it for the new version.  Grr.  Of course, who is to say if I would use that one either.  How can I integrate the iPad into my life more?  Droid3 and Laptop do everything I need...or at least everything I think I need.

Kristi's questions for me.

1. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are they're names?
Yes!  Conor girl.  She is a poofy-tailed tiger kitty.
2. What is your favorite dessert of all time?
This question is blasphemous.  You can't play favorites in something this weighty.  So, I'll say the first thing that popped into my mind.  The cookie in a pan with homemade ice-cream and fresh caramel and chocolate sauces drizzled on top - served at ESPN Zone in NYC, which no longer exists.  Sad.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder I guess.  I recently bought two special cast-iron cookie pans so I can make some of my own.
3. Are you an Oxford Comma user?
You better believe it.  
4. What's the best field trip you ever went on?
COSI in Columbus in 4th grade - I found $23 on the floor.  If you count my show choir trip to perform in Disney World a field trip then definitely that one, but it wasn't a "field trip."  
5. If you had a time machine and could travel to any time in history, what would it be?
Shall I just have all of you answer this for me?
For fun?  Anytime post-war 1940s - late 1950s. 
For absolute thrills?  When the pyramids were being built.  Or when the Roman Empire was bustling.  Or to the civilizations that built all the strange formations in South America.  Or to Atlantis!  Umm...I love the History Channel a little too hard. 
6. Who is the most influential teacher you ever had? Why?
My 7th grade language arts teacher.  I had become fat and depressed and unsure of myself.  She encouraged my passion for intelligence and writing.  Then she encouraged my passion for gymnastics.  She saw me transform and shared with me how proud she was of me every day.  Then she asked me to join a competitive writing team - where I made it through all the cuts to state competition.  She truly showed me I could be or do anything.  She also helped me through my grandfather's death from cancer only one short year before she passed away from the same disease.  I loved her. 
7. What is your favorite makeup product?
Mascara.  I actually have quite long, luscious lashes.  But they are blonde.  I've never had to wear false lashes on stage when equipped with the right mascara.
8. What's better? Clean sheets or new pillows?
Clean sheets for every day.  New pillows for once a year. Of course, with down pillows, you just fluff 'em up and they are like new every day! 
9. What is your favorite poem?
 Whatever my heart is currently singing.  Cheesy, right?  Cause I don't have a favorite.  I used to write poems in 7th grade.  Maybe you can take that "travel back in time" question and go to 7th grade me and ask her?
10. What is your secret to happiness?
Hope.  That's the first thing that came to mind.  As far as people go, I'm pretty darned happy.  I've often thought about what has made my attitude so different from those around me and all I can think of is that I unceasingly, unfailingly cling to hope.  I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me and I live each day in the faith and hope that I am putting together another piece of the puzzle to one day see the full picture that He already sees.
11. What's your favorite movie of all time?
Again, blasphemy.  I perhaps should have placed in my 11 random facts that I have an excruciatingly difficult time picking favorites.   What are some that I love?  Jurassic Park, A League of Their Own, The Hot Chick (don't judge), Shawshank Redemption (edited, of course), The Help, Goonies, LOTR, Indiana Jones, You've Got Mail, etc.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Momma's Boys

I haven't lived near my family in 13.5 years.

I don't understand what it is like to have a family member close that you can call on for anything.  I haven't had my mommy close for 13.5 years.  My friends are my family - the ones I spend time with and rely on and look to for support.

I want to be that person for all of my friends.  Especially, I want to be the girl that the man she is dating will just know, after an intense day of work, I'll take care of him. Whatever it is he needs - a good cuddle, a good meal, a good conversation - I want to be there.

The thing is...

Most guys around here have mothers.

And most of those mothers, naturally, do for those boys exactly what I want to do for them (minus the smooching/cuddles, that'd be mega-gross).  And most of those boys are good sons and make time to spend with their momma's.  Which means not only do I not get to do the sweet things for them, I also don't get the time with them either.

So where does that leave me?  What's a girl to do?

Friday, March 16, 2012

Girls and Hair Trauma

Have you ever noticed, that when a girl does something drastic to her hair - a significant cut or color change - the first question most people ask is something along the lines of, "So what happened?"

I have more friends than I can count to whom a hair makeover indicates something traumatic has occurred.  If you ask the above question you are likely to get an answer such as, "I was having a hard time with a (breakup, job, family, weight).  My hair is the one thing I can control and/or new hair makes me feel like a new person."

Ladies - are you guilty?  Why do you change your hair?

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Annie Get Your Gun: Empress Theatre

To all you Irving Berlin fans out there - the Empress Theatre has a treat for you! 
(If you are a Berlin fan, I'd also recommend these CD's.)

Annie Get Your Gun is gracing the stage every Friday, Saturday, and Monday until April 7.  You can purchase tickets here.

Why would you want to go?
  • April Hales Henderson belts her heart out in her dream role.  I've only ever heard April sing in a more classical style, so imagine my surprise when she first sang to the rafters in You Can't Get a Man With a Gun. I don't kid when I say this is her dream role.  She shared with me that every moment she has on the stage as Annie Oakley is another moment her dreams come true.  And you can tell! 
  • Moonshine Lullaby.  Perhaps the quietest, most tender moment of the show and my absolute favorite part.  April's lovely style comes out as she tends to the darling children.  My heart utterly melted. 
  • This production is much faster-paced and more enjoyable than the previous community productions of AGYG I've seen.  
  • The ensemble is strong - definitely stronger than last AGYG I saw.  You'll enjoy when the entire cast comes on stage to sing - there are so many of them, all being their own characters, and all singing full-out.  Because the cast members are so close to you on the Empress stage, you do tend to hear individual performers, but they are on key, I promise:-)
  • Dolly.  She will make you laugh.  Some shows make Dolly a sexy, snotty villain - this Dolly is more of a goofy treat of a bad guy.   Kind of like the robbers in Home Alone. 
  • If you liked the Empress's production of The Music Man, you'll find some of the same actors and actresses - all performing just as great, if not better.  
  • You WILL enjoy yourself. 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What's in a Kiss?

I've heard tell that:
a. A kiss can make or break a woman's interest in a man
b. A kiss has no weight on the current status of a man's feelings for a woman

Is either true?

What does a kiss mean to you?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Monday, March 12, 2012

Girls Don't Get It...

On Sunday I see this Facebook status:

Guy: So many girls just don't get it. At all. They think they know what guys want, and they have no clue. At least guys can admit they are clueless...

Over 30 comments followed, the most pertinent of which are:

Girl: Maybe it would help for the girls to not be so clueless if the gentleman communicated what they wanted, and left the girls from guessing??

Guy: The same girls I'm talking about are the ones who make you the bad guy when you tell them what you want. Because they really want one of two things: 1. What they want and 2. What they think YOU should want. Simple example: guy has a long or busy day/night. It's late. Girl calls/texts because she knows that guy's events have ended. She asks if guy "wants her to come over." At that point if guy's real answer is "no," he is the bad guy because he "doesn't want to see her." So the answer is usually "it's your call." Girl will of course come over, but really guy just wants to unwind...

Girl:  So you just gave an example of a guy being clueless. You don't want a girl to come over just say it....its all about being tactfully straight forward. 

Girl: you make yourself a bad guy by not being honest. Sure dating is complicated and you don't always say the right thing. But a girl would rather feel a little disappointed to hear a no then to feel like an a$$ when you don't really want to hang out and she comes over 

Guy: the girl in question feels the guy "should" want to see her, the guy is wrong if he just wants to call it a night
Girl:  the right girl would understand    

This whole discussion ruffled my feathers a bit.  I fully agree - the right girl would understand if the sincere truth is communicated in a gentle manner.  If this young man feels stifled in his ability to express himself and be understood with this young lady, then perhaps she just isn't the one for him.

Almost every man I have dated has at one point or another expressed a similar sentiment.  Heck, I've even backed out of tentative plans due to exhaustion.  Were there fights?  No.  Hurt feelings?  No.  Rescheduled plans?  Yes!  

But then I think about my last dating experience.  After three months, I wanted to be exclusive with the young man, however, he was not in the same place.  Did I think he should want what I wanted?  Guilty as charged.  But I also honestly think I did not make him out to be the bad guy.  He wasn't the one who chose to walk away, I was.  Maybe he felt like he was the bad guy.  I'm not going to argue who was or wasn't, but I will say communication was had and appropriate decisions made accordingly.  No hard feelings.  One of the worst things you can ever do in a relationship is ask someone to make a decision that is not right for them or not on their timeline.

I don't understand why scenarios such as these have to be so complicated!  People shouldn't take themselves so seriously and read destruction into every little detail that doesn't scream, "I love you!"  Likewise, they shouldn't read love into every little detail that doesn't scream, "I can't stand you!"  

Just. Chill.  Out!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Kissing My Best Friend's Boyfriend

It's not what you think.

As most of you know, I dabble in performing once or twice per year.  Right now, I happen to be playing the role of Elaine in Arsenic and Old Lace.  The boyfriend of one of my favorite people, Bekah, is playing my romantic counterpart.  Suffice it to say, there is a scene where Elaine is trying to get Mortimer to pay attention to her and she resorts to the art of 1940s-style seduction (just kissing, folks - no one did anything more than that in the 40s, right?).  Good thing Bekah finds this rather hilarious and just giggles uncontrollably.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Lack of Commitment

Yesterday's post had a few of you wondering what exactly I was getting at.  I didn't want to bias your feedback before I received some.  I hope this explains.

Dating someone regularly, continuing to date (including kissing and hand-holding), yet continuing to be non-exclusive makes a person a little confused eventually.  I recognized no two people are always on the same page.  I definitely support moving into exclusivity gradually and am very patient and supportive however... 

After a certain amount of time*, you want to be able to call the person you are dating when you have had a rough day and have ijustwannabehelditis.

After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to let your guard down and not worry that he will reject you simply because you aren't 100% all the time.

After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to grab his hand the moment you get out of the car to walk somewhere without wondering if it is okay.

After a certain amount of time, you want to give him a goodnight kiss each and every night without wondering if he cares about you enough to want to kiss you that day.

After a certain amount of time, you don't want to have to wonder if you are going to be going out that weekend.

After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to be part of his routine.
After a certain amount of time, you want to stop worrying if that person he is texting while you are together is another person he is dating.

After a certain amount of time, you want to know you will have special days together - birthdays, holidays, celebrations of important events...

After a certain amount of time, you know he has seen enough of the basic elements of you to have a pretty good idea whether or not he wants to be with you.

And after a certain amount of time, your little heart needs something more and you have to walk away from something uncertain that could have been beautiful in hopes of finding something certain even more beautiful.

*In this situation, three solid months of at least twice weekly outings, five months total 

*disclaimer* I would not feel okay with posting this if I didn't point out that this individual is, in fact, an amazing, wonderful young man - one of the very finest I have ever encountered.  Seriously.  I have nothing but the very highest of respect and care for him.  Our timing was a little off.  After a certain amount of time, we both needed different than what we had at that moment.  I know we will both find what we need with the person who is right when the time is right.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


Doesn't almost everything in life require a commitment to realize the maximum potential of results?

If you commit yourself to a fitness and diet regime, would it do good if you only participated in that one day per week?  A little, but in order to see the full impact, you would have to submerse yourself.

If you commit yourself to continuing education, what is better, one day per week, or fully enrolling?

At work, if you begin a project, but only work on it two days per week, wouldn't you be so much better off committing fully until you are finished?

Look at the chart below, which I pulled from a project management site - higher involvement increases commitment naturally and visa-verse. 

In my opinion, so goes with relationships.  I've been accused of being a serial monogamist.  The thing is, once someone has my heart, I have a very hard time trying to get to know other fabulous young men.  I am a full advocate of everyone working into commitment/exclusivity on a timeline that works for them, but it needs to happen. Even with my gym routine, I started out with three days per week for a year, then four days per week for a year, etc. and only when I was fully committed did I see the best results.

If a man has caught my attention and I his, we deserve the opportunity to find out what the relationship could or couldn't be.  In order to fully consider a relationship and the positives or negatives it could have in my life, I feel the best route is some sort of consistency of involvement on the horizon.

What do you think?*

Is commitment - aka exclusivity- a necessary step in dating?  How long have you dated before becoming exclusive with your significant other and others past?   Have you ever walked away from a great relationship because the other person wouldn't commit?

*I have received a lot of feedback in regards to how I feel about "levels of commitment."  I apologize for the miscommunication - that wasn't my intended question.  My intended questions are the actual questions I asked in the last paragraph.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

My South African Gym Boyfriend

For almost a year now, I've had the pleasure of working out at the same time as a charming fellow who has taken a fancy to me.  My friends know him as "Gym Boyfriend."

I relish my gym time - it is my time to detox, to reflect, to think, to end the stresses of the work day.  I don't prefer to date anyone from the gym because that could possibly taint my refuge.  I haven't really had to worry about too many men at the gym trying to bust a move because, well, there are other ladies who clearly want moves busted, whilst I cover myself more than adequately, actually sweat enough to soak a shirt (Gross, right?), and always have my marshmallows stuffed in my ears.

I've only had two men hit on me at the gym (and one woman...but that's for another time).  Both of them were beefy, muscular, dark chocolate South Utah of all places.   

Gym boyfriend asked for my number back in November and, whilst we have talked since then, the follow-through with his request didn't happen until about three weeks ago, at which time he physically handed me his phone (he said I'm hard to pin down - pffffft.  Okay, so maybe I am...) and asked me to enter my number.  So I did.

He texted me twice and called me once that very day (I was busy and couldn't respond).  After a few texts, I decided to give him the heads-up that I'd been dating someone (no longer am) for a few months although we weren't exclusive.  He backed off a little.  Rightfully so.

A few days later, on a Sunday, I get a text asking how my day was.  I responded with all the good vibes of the day and that church had been great.  He made no response about church.  I wondered, "Hmm...I just assume I give off that totally LDS vibe, but maybe, just maybe..."

I texted, "Random question.  Are you LDS?"

"LDS?  What's that?  You are confusing me."


"No.  Are you?"

"Very much."

"Mormons are good people, but I thought they don't date outside of their faith."

"I did when I was younger, but now I am done dating for fun and only date seriously."

"This is very interesting.  I will call you tomorrow and we will talk about this some more."

I never heard from him again.  I've seen him at the gym twice and he avoids me like the plague.

Upon bemusedly telling the story to a dude friend who is of no religion at all, I asked, "Is he afraid of me now or something?  It's kinda hilarious!"

His response?  "He isn't afraid of you at all.  He's afraid of what he's not going to get from you."

Ah.  Touché.  All those months of staring at my J-Lo booty in tight gym pants...for nothing.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Things to Never Text a Married Man

I present to you an actual textchange I had last week.

"Hey Larissa, this is your director.  I hope the blocking worked better!  Especially with the "grab."  Thanks for your great work!"

"Thank you so much for your msg last night!  I feel so much better about the blocking of the grab and the kiss.  Thank you!"

"All I saw was 'Thank you so much for last night' and hoped my wife didn't read that."

"Lol! I realize how strange that sounded after I wrote it.  Put that on a list of things to never text a married man!"

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Today I Love: What I Learned from the Month of Love

The common thread amongst many of my posts is simply that these people make me feel loved, wanted, and needed.

My own family is over 2,000 miles away.  So often, I feel so alone.  No one to help me look for a home, move, look for a car, fix things around the house, help with car troubles, help with Dr.'s appointments, pick something up at the store for you or do laundry when you are so busy you can't see straight, no one to just go get food or watch a movie can tell I've pondered a little too much over this alone business.

While no one can replace family, as they are obligated to love you, I do have the most amazing friend family in the world.  I'm convinced.  I've been accused of "collecting friends."  This may be the case.  But I have learned that as long as I love as much as I can and put that out there, all of that will come back to me ten fold.  And I need all of these people in my life.  My family is always growing, as is my heart. 

I have many, many more drafts of "Today I Love..." ready to publish.  I've decided I'll regularly publish one of these posts so that I make sure to continue letting everyone know just how much they mean to me.  I am going to live my love for all of you:-)