The lovely Londonite, Louise Mitchell, with online dating site Lovestruck, contacted me awhile back with a great idea for a guest blog on Valentine's ideas for teenagers and budget-minded folks. Enjoy her post!
It is that time of year again when everyone’s on the look-out for love, eyes start wandering in the halls of schools and colleges all over the world looking for a special someone to call your Valentine. It might be that you are looking for a date for the evening or are already in a relationship with someone and are looking for some fun things to do. Here are 5 fun suggestions with some little tips on making them a little but special.
1: Favourite Movie Night
This is where you spend the night swapping your favourite movies, so bring your favourite ever DVD to share and an extra large bucket of popcorn and share those special moments with the one you love and maybe create some of your own.
Here’s how to make it special:
Make your own invitation with a ticket but do not give away your favourite movie as this should be a surprise on the night. Maybe include it in a romantic card and set the date, sprinkle a few rose petals in too. You might want to his or her favourite sweets or ice-creams for the date to show you already know what they like. This is perfect when the budget is tight but you still want to be sweet.
2: The Walk and Picnic
If you are near any nature reserves or spots of real natural beauty then arrange a visit there with a picnic, preparation is the key here, research picnic spots and toileting facilities before you go. You might need to research the transport and costs of this as well as getting the right food and drinks too. Arrange this with your Valentine as a cryptic date and make it a surprise but let them know they won’t need a suit or high-heals, it may be this park has boats to hire or something special there so give them a cute clue! Travelling together will give you time to talk as well as letting the excitement build between you. Make sure you have some kind of blanket etc to sit and have your picnic on. Making your own tortilla wraps chicken with salad is very healthy but bring a few treats too. Try to keep the food easy to throw away so that you won’t have to carry it around if you go and explore the area and maybe ask parents of family to get you home safely.
3: Paint Balling!
I know this is not very romantic and it isn’t really meant to be, this is for the group of singles who haven’t got a date but would like to do something with a big group and maybe there’s is someone special in that group you would like to get to know better. Arranging a big group outing around Valentines’ Day is a great way to feel less blue about not having found someone special. Try go-karting, ice-skating or paint balling depending on your area and budget is a great way to get the singles mingling and might even lead to some romance along the way who knows?
4: Romantic Presents
Romance does not have to be expensive and over the top, it should be sweet.
Compliment Jar: A container filled with sweet little hand-written notes of romantic quotes and things that you love about the person to remind them when you are apart how you feel, thing like ‘your eyes
are beautiful’ or ‘when I hold your hand I get tingles in my stomach.’ You can put in lyrics from their favourite songs, poems or even little pictures that will help them think of you. You might want to add love hearts or their favourite sweets or chocolates. You could even dry press some flowers or put in synthetic rose petals to make it look pretty.
5: Ticket Available
There are so many great films to see and there is always a romantic comedy out for Valentines’ Day so never fear, there could be a band playing or a great sporting event or something fun on to do. You should certainly think about who you are inviting and tailor it to something both of you would enjoy whether it’s a monster truck derby or watching ballet, getting tickets for and event is a great way to get a date. Being sweet and sending your prospective date a sweet but simple card with a message about the date, venue and time etc. Maybe you have never spoken to this person before, leave your mobile number in the Valentines card as well as who you are, in this case it is better not to be secretive as they will not turn up and when they contact you, you can arrange to go.
Author Bio:
This is a guest post by Louise Mitchell, a relationship expert who advises couples with relationship troubles as well as helping singles on the ways to find the best partner for them. Louise is currently consulting with Lovestruck on their on-line dating site to help singles use a profiling service to help people find specific traits they are looking for whether it’s a single in Singapore or a lonely heart in London.
Showing posts with label Single. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Single. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Monday, June 25, 2012
Dating Stinks
I've long had the nose of a bloodhound.
As a child, I would come home from elementary school, open the front door, and pause for just a moment before boldly asking my mom, "Where's the chocolate?"
You see, she would buy bulk chocolate and cut it up into pieces and hide it from us, occasionally bringing out pieces. The only problem was that I thwarted her masterplan because I could smell from a mile away - just the mere fact that she'd had chocolate in the house perked my little sniffer right up.
Chocolate brings me to another of life's greatest treats...men.
Both can be sweet or bitter, desired or avoided, but the similarity I am going for right now is smell.
I've dated, or come close to dating, some guys who just were not up to snuff...or sniff, as it were. I've often asked questions of my friends like:
Is it just me, or does that guy smell like wet cotton and clothes that have been hanging in the closet too long?
Have you smelled that guy's breath? I can't get within a foot of him! No? Just me?
That guy rocks at frisbee, but probably because no one ever guards him because he smells like BO. What? You've never smelled it when you guard him? Weird.
Then there is the converse:
Did you smell him? I thought he was totally unattractive until I caught a whiff of how good he smells!
Don't you love it when you kiss and his smell lingers with you?
I have never been shy about hooking men up with cologne when I think it will help their cause, or politely handing someone a piece of gum. Lucky for me, I give people gum all the time and nine times out of ten, it is not a necessity, but a nicety.
I cannot think of one relationship where smell did not play some factor in my decisions. Crazy, right? Or not...
I've recently stumbled upon quite a few articles and research backing up my olfactory omniscience.
This article states:
Dating has long been associated with masquerade. It is well known that the codes and signals women employ to attract a mate - provocative dress, coy and flirtatious behavior (driven by sexual fantasy) - are deeply rooted in evolutionary biology. Often unrecognized, however, is the role that the sense of smell plays in the evolutionary system of attraction. We each produce a chemical aura as unique as our fingerprints. Starting at puberty, feasts of aromatic chemicals that make up our individual "odor-prints" communicate our sexual compatibility. This continues through our fertile lives and is perceived by others on an unconscious level...
One way in which humans communicate with each other is through the senses of smell and taste. Attraction is quite literally about chemistry; our noses have receptors for scent molecules, some so fine-tuned that even consciously imperceptible chemicals are apprehended and processed by the brain on an unconscious level. The majority of the aromatic information that we receive from other humans is apprehended in this way.
Evolutionary biologists had long hypothesized that humans pick mates by smelling them, but this was only proven in 1995 by biologist Claus Wedekind in a groundbreaking initial study while at the University of Bern...read more here.
Another article states:
What’s the most important factor in choosing a lover – is it eyes, smile, wealth, ambition, personality, or outward appearance? Not surprisingly, friendliness is the most important factor for both men and women, and if you’re a woman at Brown University, the second most important thing to you is how your potential lover smells. Think this is weird? Rachel Herz of Brown University’s Department of Psychology and Michael Inzlicht of New York University’s Department of Applied Psychology conducted a study to quantify how important smell is to men and women when it comes to choosing their lovers...
Herz and Inzlicht’s research debunks previous theories of mate selection. For example, according to Buss’s 1989 study, men have stereotypically been charged with seeking women with “good looks,” whereas women look for men of “high social status and wealth.” Herz and Inzlicht expand on such previous experiments by investigating the relationship between attraction and the sense of smell. This factor is relevant because a pleasing natural smell may indicate that the potential lover has a healthy immune system...
So why do you like that average looking fellow? How come that ordinary lady in your writing class looks good to you? You can’t figure out for the life of you why you keep thinking about him. Could it be because you caught a whiff of his natural scent? The take-home message of this study is that women should look their best and be pleasant, and that men should smell nice and treat their women well. Read more here.
Glamour Magazine recently published some research that shows that those with a keen sense of smell are happier because their communication levels are higher as are their cues to social propriety.
Did you know that there are even Pheromone Parties? And dating websites catering towards matching people based on smell? This is kinda creepy, but, hey, if it works...
I feel a little relieved to know that science is backing up my decisions when I can't bring myself to date a guy because his smell rubs me the wrong way.
Have you had any interesting experiences involving dating and smells?
As a child, I would come home from elementary school, open the front door, and pause for just a moment before boldly asking my mom, "Where's the chocolate?"
You see, she would buy bulk chocolate and cut it up into pieces and hide it from us, occasionally bringing out pieces. The only problem was that I thwarted her masterplan because I could smell from a mile away - just the mere fact that she'd had chocolate in the house perked my little sniffer right up.
Chocolate brings me to another of life's greatest treats...men.
Both can be sweet or bitter, desired or avoided, but the similarity I am going for right now is smell.
I've dated, or come close to dating, some guys who just were not up to snuff...or sniff, as it were. I've often asked questions of my friends like:
Is it just me, or does that guy smell like wet cotton and clothes that have been hanging in the closet too long?
Have you smelled that guy's breath? I can't get within a foot of him! No? Just me?
That guy rocks at frisbee, but probably because no one ever guards him because he smells like BO. What? You've never smelled it when you guard him? Weird.
Then there is the converse:
Did you smell him? I thought he was totally unattractive until I caught a whiff of how good he smells!
Don't you love it when you kiss and his smell lingers with you?
I have never been shy about hooking men up with cologne when I think it will help their cause, or politely handing someone a piece of gum. Lucky for me, I give people gum all the time and nine times out of ten, it is not a necessity, but a nicety.
I cannot think of one relationship where smell did not play some factor in my decisions. Crazy, right? Or not...
I've recently stumbled upon quite a few articles and research backing up my olfactory omniscience.
This article states:
Dating has long been associated with masquerade. It is well known that the codes and signals women employ to attract a mate - provocative dress, coy and flirtatious behavior (driven by sexual fantasy) - are deeply rooted in evolutionary biology. Often unrecognized, however, is the role that the sense of smell plays in the evolutionary system of attraction. We each produce a chemical aura as unique as our fingerprints. Starting at puberty, feasts of aromatic chemicals that make up our individual "odor-prints" communicate our sexual compatibility. This continues through our fertile lives and is perceived by others on an unconscious level...
One way in which humans communicate with each other is through the senses of smell and taste. Attraction is quite literally about chemistry; our noses have receptors for scent molecules, some so fine-tuned that even consciously imperceptible chemicals are apprehended and processed by the brain on an unconscious level. The majority of the aromatic information that we receive from other humans is apprehended in this way.
Evolutionary biologists had long hypothesized that humans pick mates by smelling them, but this was only proven in 1995 by biologist Claus Wedekind in a groundbreaking initial study while at the University of Bern...read more here.
Another article states:
What’s the most important factor in choosing a lover – is it eyes, smile, wealth, ambition, personality, or outward appearance? Not surprisingly, friendliness is the most important factor for both men and women, and if you’re a woman at Brown University, the second most important thing to you is how your potential lover smells. Think this is weird? Rachel Herz of Brown University’s Department of Psychology and Michael Inzlicht of New York University’s Department of Applied Psychology conducted a study to quantify how important smell is to men and women when it comes to choosing their lovers...
Herz and Inzlicht’s research debunks previous theories of mate selection. For example, according to Buss’s 1989 study, men have stereotypically been charged with seeking women with “good looks,” whereas women look for men of “high social status and wealth.” Herz and Inzlicht expand on such previous experiments by investigating the relationship between attraction and the sense of smell. This factor is relevant because a pleasing natural smell may indicate that the potential lover has a healthy immune system...
So why do you like that average looking fellow? How come that ordinary lady in your writing class looks good to you? You can’t figure out for the life of you why you keep thinking about him. Could it be because you caught a whiff of his natural scent? The take-home message of this study is that women should look their best and be pleasant, and that men should smell nice and treat their women well. Read more here.
Glamour Magazine recently published some research that shows that those with a keen sense of smell are happier because their communication levels are higher as are their cues to social propriety.
Did you know that there are even Pheromone Parties? And dating websites catering towards matching people based on smell? This is kinda creepy, but, hey, if it works...
I feel a little relieved to know that science is backing up my decisions when I can't bring myself to date a guy because his smell rubs me the wrong way.
Have you had any interesting experiences involving dating and smells?
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Chemistry
Just because you get married does not mean you will never have chemistry with another man.
That little gem of wisdom about knocked me off my chair.
I've never understood how a married person could even look at another of the opposite gender as anything more than a totally asexual entity.
But then I realized my train of thinking is absolutely absurd.
As a woman, I have constantly met other women to whom I am immediately drawn. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about - those gals that you can tell immediately you will have a life-long bond with. There is no questioning that connection, no hesitation - just pure elation with finding another who is your kindred spirit, bosom buddy, soul mate, what-have-you.
Why, then, could I have had the preposterous thought that after fifteen years of active dating and finding connections with various men, I would never encounter another man with whom I have chemistry simply because I had gotten married? Heck, even in committed dating relationships prior to engagement, you have your eyes open to make sure you are making the most correct decision for yourself and the person you are dating.
The difficult aspect about opposite-gender chemistry (or same-gender depending on your persuasion) is that that chemistry usually comes along with attraction to be with the person. Whenever I have felt that in my life, I've always been able to act...that is the natural thing to do and has definitely become my action of habit!
What a novel idea...I will always meet people I am drawn to - for the rest of my life I will continue to have magnetism towards some. How could I have never realized this before?
The difference is that once I decide I have met my "the one," I will make that conscious effort and decision to never again act on the chemistry/attraction. It will be there, like it or not. But that commitment to an eternal and everlasting marriage is more than chemistry - it is a covenant with another spiritual being and with your Heavenly Father and with the eternities your legacy will lead to. Marriage is building. Marriage is hope. Marriage is freedom to create. Marriage is digging into the trenches with each other and then helping each other climb out. Marriage is companionship, unconditional support, friendship, love, loyalty, dedication and a million other elements that all combine to be the thing most of us constantly crave until we find it. And when we do, we cling to it with the force of a thousand winds.
I would never give that up for chemistry. But it sure is nice to have the heads-up if and when I realize that human element of attraction won't be going away. That would be like saying Snickers ceases to exist simply because I refuse to acknowledge them. Of course, we all know I'll never refuse to acknowledge a Snickers...some things never change:-)
That little gem of wisdom about knocked me off my chair.
I've never understood how a married person could even look at another of the opposite gender as anything more than a totally asexual entity.
But then I realized my train of thinking is absolutely absurd.
As a woman, I have constantly met other women to whom I am immediately drawn. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about - those gals that you can tell immediately you will have a life-long bond with. There is no questioning that connection, no hesitation - just pure elation with finding another who is your kindred spirit, bosom buddy, soul mate, what-have-you.
Why, then, could I have had the preposterous thought that after fifteen years of active dating and finding connections with various men, I would never encounter another man with whom I have chemistry simply because I had gotten married? Heck, even in committed dating relationships prior to engagement, you have your eyes open to make sure you are making the most correct decision for yourself and the person you are dating.
The difficult aspect about opposite-gender chemistry (or same-gender depending on your persuasion) is that that chemistry usually comes along with attraction to be with the person. Whenever I have felt that in my life, I've always been able to act...that is the natural thing to do and has definitely become my action of habit!
What a novel idea...I will always meet people I am drawn to - for the rest of my life I will continue to have magnetism towards some. How could I have never realized this before?
The difference is that once I decide I have met my "the one," I will make that conscious effort and decision to never again act on the chemistry/attraction. It will be there, like it or not. But that commitment to an eternal and everlasting marriage is more than chemistry - it is a covenant with another spiritual being and with your Heavenly Father and with the eternities your legacy will lead to. Marriage is building. Marriage is hope. Marriage is freedom to create. Marriage is digging into the trenches with each other and then helping each other climb out. Marriage is companionship, unconditional support, friendship, love, loyalty, dedication and a million other elements that all combine to be the thing most of us constantly crave until we find it. And when we do, we cling to it with the force of a thousand winds.
I would never give that up for chemistry. But it sure is nice to have the heads-up if and when I realize that human element of attraction won't be going away. That would be like saying Snickers ceases to exist simply because I refuse to acknowledge them. Of course, we all know I'll never refuse to acknowledge a Snickers...some things never change:-)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Marital Confusion
On a similar note to my this post:
When did I reach the age that, when I am on a date with a man, the folks at all restaurants, sporting events, bowling alleys, what-have-you, automatically and without hesitation refer to "your husband" or "your wife?"
When did I reach the age that, when I am on a date with a man, the folks at all restaurants, sporting events, bowling alleys, what-have-you, automatically and without hesitation refer to "your husband" or "your wife?"
Friday, May 25, 2012
Deal-Breakers
I have a general question for all of you readers out there in the blogosphere:
What are deal-breakers for you in relationships?
What are deal-breakers for you in relationships?
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Guest Post: Top Five Reasons Why to Date an Artist
Hi everyone!
My name is Melissa and this is my guest blog. In my heart I am a story teller and my blog is a collection of the good, the bad and the ugly stories that I have collected over the years. I met
Larissa in the fall of 2009 when our stake was doing a musical and I
volunteered to help with the costumes. Immediately I adored her. Since then we
have become fast friends over a similar collection of people we love, and the
Arts. It’s been awhile since Larissa invited me to be a guest blogger, but I
finally found some inspiration this week…
Why should I date an artist?
Over the last week I overheard quite a few rants about why
one should never date an artist. I
fumed at their reasons. Their top reason? Money. Why? Because they (we) don’t
have it, and in all realistic visions of the future we might never have it.
Sigh. In my search to combat their asinine thoughts I read a “reasons to date
an artist” but wasn’t impressed. So I have decided to make my own list. Not
only as an artists point of view, but from one who has dated her fare share of artists.
So here we go…
#1. They are cheap
dates. We’ll start with this one, as
it seems to be their biggest downfall according to a majority of people. Truth
is there is little money here. However the bigger truth is… they don’t need it.
You don’t need to be wined and dined to be won over by artists. You see an
artists’ creativity extends far beyond the canvas and you would only be lucky
enough to experience this. At the very least they always know someone who can get you
into places and meet people that will be hard to forget. All on a dime.
#2. They are
passionate. You can’t go wrong with this term in any sense of its meaning.
Whether referring to the sexual ideas behind being a passionate person or the
strength in the ideals of working ones butt off for a cause you believe in—you
win! They seek the thrills and chills of weak knees and a fast heart beat when you
touch and they work hard if they believe in something, and if that is your
relationship you better believe they won’t give up on it!
#3.You will be part
of the art. No matter what medium, you will become apart of it. Whether it
is merely inspiration or you are blatantly the focus, you are the art. It is an
honor to be an inspiration. Who hasn’t ever wanted a song written for them, a painting
done of them or a performance dedicated to them? I have a friend whose wakes up to her husband composing music on the piano about his love for her. She is inspiring art and passion within her husband. One's relationship could not produce anything more beautiful than that.
#4. They love to have
a good time! Artists lead
exciting lives and with every new project there is something exciting on the horizon. Anything can and will
happen. They have great stories and you will share in creating even more to
tell in the years to come. Even if your relationship ends, you have epic dating stories. Additionally they find beauty in everything. If you
are tired of being around negative people, date an artist.
#5. They are smart. Artists soak in the world around them. The people, the places, the world. It becomes a part of who they are. For
the projects they have worked on, they have done their research. They read. They write. They listen. They know what is going on the world. They are
passionate people because they have done all of these things and are sincerely interested
in the world. Interested in saving it, and interested in changing it one
artistic moment at a time. Conversation will never lack with artists. Because
of this they have extremely good taste in music, books, art, movies etc.
So don't be afraid of the passion or the heightened senses. Don't be afraid that you won't be taken to a steak house for dinner because chances are you will remember the homemade chocolates far longer. Artists will change your life for the better if you let them. So date an artist... but don't take my word for it... try it yourself.
Like Melissa's writing as much as I do (Larissa speaking now, obviously)? Follow her blog here.
So don't be afraid of the passion or the heightened senses. Don't be afraid that you won't be taken to a steak house for dinner because chances are you will remember the homemade chocolates far longer. Artists will change your life for the better if you let them. So date an artist... but don't take my word for it... try it yourself.
Like Melissa's writing as much as I do (Larissa speaking now, obviously)? Follow her blog here.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Ex Confusion
When did I reach the age that when someone talks about their "ex," I'm not sure if they mean "boyfriend/girlfriend" or "husband/wife?"
Friday, May 4, 2012
Reactionary Dating
My advice you may not like - you don't have to take it.
You don't want a man's relationship with you to be a reaction to something. You don't want him to only ever act when you threaten to leave.
You need internal strength. Having confidence that you can find happiness with another man shows him he has to work for you. I know it hurts. But, he needs to pursue you like a lion after his prey.
Too many girls succumb to the role of sweet, little darlings following men around and begging for their attention, then giving them their heart and soul at the slightest sign of affection.
Geez. I've been guilty. I once expressed to a young man a reevaluation of our relationship. At that moment, he would have done anything to keep me. And he did - he told me he wanted to be with me and to marry me more than anything. So I stayed. I stayed when the promise of proposal never came. I stayed when he called me a B*@%#. I stayed when my intelligence was questioned dozens of times each day. As the months added up, I realized he had done nothing to back up his words of reaction.
How does that saying go? The road to hell is paved with good intentions? I can't live with a partner who doesn't act- who only reacts.
Can you see how a situation where you are the pursuer can turn into something where he sits back and lets you do all the work? Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but HE** NO! That is not a partnership. Yes, reciprocate efforts, but do not do all the work alone.
He needs to need you and actively communicate that in thought, word, and deed.
If you tell him you need to walk away one day and then you are right there pouncing back in the next, well...then he still doesn't need to pursue you. He may not consciously realize this, but it won't motivate him to act in any way. I know it hurts. I know it sucks. I know you want to cry. Do cry. Don't pursue.
You want a man who is actionary, not REactionary.
You don't want a man's relationship with you to be a reaction to something. You don't want him to only ever act when you threaten to leave.
You need internal strength. Having confidence that you can find happiness with another man shows him he has to work for you. I know it hurts. But, he needs to pursue you like a lion after his prey.
Too many girls succumb to the role of sweet, little darlings following men around and begging for their attention, then giving them their heart and soul at the slightest sign of affection.
Geez. I've been guilty. I once expressed to a young man a reevaluation of our relationship. At that moment, he would have done anything to keep me. And he did - he told me he wanted to be with me and to marry me more than anything. So I stayed. I stayed when the promise of proposal never came. I stayed when he called me a B*@%#. I stayed when my intelligence was questioned dozens of times each day. As the months added up, I realized he had done nothing to back up his words of reaction.
How does that saying go? The road to hell is paved with good intentions? I can't live with a partner who doesn't act- who only reacts.
Can you see how a situation where you are the pursuer can turn into something where he sits back and lets you do all the work? Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but HE** NO! That is not a partnership. Yes, reciprocate efforts, but do not do all the work alone.
He needs to need you and actively communicate that in thought, word, and deed.
If you tell him you need to walk away one day and then you are right there pouncing back in the next, well...then he still doesn't need to pursue you. He may not consciously realize this, but it won't motivate him to act in any way. I know it hurts. I know it sucks. I know you want to cry. Do cry. Don't pursue.
You want a man who is actionary, not REactionary.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Dating Emissions
Let's say you are on a date.
He's a funny fella and you begin to laugh rather vigorously in the ice cream aisle.
Let's say you then have a sneak attack of gaseous emissions.
You can see him trying to remain composed.
Let's say you then begin to laugh uncontrollably instead of succumbing to the embarrassment.
You are both then laughing like hyenas in the ice cream aisle, scaring away any passersby.
Let's say you are me and it was last Saturday night. Now aren't you glad it wasn't you?
You're welcome.
He's a funny fella and you begin to laugh rather vigorously in the ice cream aisle.
Let's say you then have a sneak attack of gaseous emissions.
You can see him trying to remain composed.
Let's say you then begin to laugh uncontrollably instead of succumbing to the embarrassment.
You are both then laughing like hyenas in the ice cream aisle, scaring away any passersby.
Let's say you are me and it was last Saturday night. Now aren't you glad it wasn't you?
You're welcome.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Does His Smile Make You Swoon?
Ladies, you know there are features about men that typically make you swoon - what is it for you? And none of this business about anyone "objectifying" anyone - physical attraction is kinda an important thing if you are ever gonna make babies and there is a type for everyone.
For me, one of the biggest attractors is broad, defined shoulders. I think that trait has come to equal "most likely fit and healthy" and I find myself drawn that direction.
Now, spill it.
(and feel free to do so anonymously if you'd like)
For me, one of the biggest attractors is broad, defined shoulders. I think that trait has come to equal "most likely fit and healthy" and I find myself drawn that direction.
Now, spill it.
(and feel free to do so anonymously if you'd like)
 |
| Well, Hello, Don't mind if I Hugh... |
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
"[If a man] hasn't lined up the who he is, the what he does, and the how much he makes in the way that he sees fit, he can't possibly be to you what he wants to be. Which means that you can't really have the man you want. He can't sit around talking with you, or dream about marriage and family, if his mind is on how to make money, how to get a better position, how to be the kind of man he needs to be for you."
Your brain is exploding out of your ears now, right? Or you are kicking yourself thinking, "I know this, I know this, I know this. Why do I always convince myself of otherwise?" Wait, there's more.
"In my experience, these facts don't always sit well with most women. Many of you figure that if a man truly loves you, the two of you should be able to pursue your dreams together. {Uh, no, I never think that....DANG IT...get out of my brain!} Stability is important to you, but you'd rather build the foundation of your relationship together, no matter the man's station in life. This is honorable, but really, it's not the way men work. His eye will be on the prize, and that prize may not necessarily be you if he isn't up to where he wants to be in life. It's impossible for us to focus on the two-- we're just not that gifted, sorry."
Comedian Steve Harvey wrote "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." I shunned the preposterousness of this fella writing a book on dating for quite some time until I read the aforementioned gems on another blog. She shared, "He goes on to say they don't necessarily have to be completely established or at the end of their road, so long as they are on the track to achieving their goals and they feel secure in their position."
I've often expressed that I feel as if I am always catching men in the middle of their identity crises...and the above pretty much pinpoints the scenario.
What thoughts do you have on the matter?
Your brain is exploding out of your ears now, right? Or you are kicking yourself thinking, "I know this, I know this, I know this. Why do I always convince myself of otherwise?" Wait, there's more.
"In my experience, these facts don't always sit well with most women. Many of you figure that if a man truly loves you, the two of you should be able to pursue your dreams together. {Uh, no, I never think that....DANG IT...get out of my brain!} Stability is important to you, but you'd rather build the foundation of your relationship together, no matter the man's station in life. This is honorable, but really, it's not the way men work. His eye will be on the prize, and that prize may not necessarily be you if he isn't up to where he wants to be in life. It's impossible for us to focus on the two-- we're just not that gifted, sorry."
Comedian Steve Harvey wrote "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." I shunned the preposterousness of this fella writing a book on dating for quite some time until I read the aforementioned gems on another blog. She shared, "He goes on to say they don't necessarily have to be completely established or at the end of their road, so long as they are on the track to achieving their goals and they feel secure in their position."
I've often expressed that I feel as if I am always catching men in the middle of their identity crises...and the above pretty much pinpoints the scenario.
What thoughts do you have on the matter?
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Fetuses
I've confused too many of you.
"Oh man, that guy is such a catch. Too bad he's a fetus."
This statement does not mean I am referring to an actual baby-child-in-the-womb fetus.
This simply means that I am 31. And he is most likely 24 or under. Meaning, I'd be the sugar momma, the cougar, the go-to-gal, etc. This isn't bad, just young.
Confusion cleared?
"Oh man, that guy is such a catch. Too bad he's a fetus."
This statement does not mean I am referring to an actual baby-child-in-the-womb fetus.
This simply means that I am 31. And he is most likely 24 or under. Meaning, I'd be the sugar momma, the cougar, the go-to-gal, etc. This isn't bad, just young.
Confusion cleared?
 |
| I did go to BYU, so I am technically a Cougar... |
Monday, March 19, 2012
Momma's Boys
I haven't lived near my family in 13.5 years.
I don't understand what it is like to have a family member close that you can call on for anything. I haven't had my mommy close for 13.5 years. My friends are my family - the ones I spend time with and rely on and look to for support.
I want to be that person for all of my friends. Especially, I want to be the girl that the man she is dating will just know, after an intense day of work, I'll take care of him. Whatever it is he needs - a good cuddle, a good meal, a good conversation - I want to be there.
The thing is...
Most guys around here have mothers.
And most of those mothers, naturally, do for those boys exactly what I want to do for them (minus the smooching/cuddles, that'd be mega-gross). And most of those boys are good sons and make time to spend with their momma's. Which means not only do I not get to do the sweet things for them, I also don't get the time with them either.
So where does that leave me? What's a girl to do?
I don't understand what it is like to have a family member close that you can call on for anything. I haven't had my mommy close for 13.5 years. My friends are my family - the ones I spend time with and rely on and look to for support.
I want to be that person for all of my friends. Especially, I want to be the girl that the man she is dating will just know, after an intense day of work, I'll take care of him. Whatever it is he needs - a good cuddle, a good meal, a good conversation - I want to be there.
The thing is...
Most guys around here have mothers.
And most of those mothers, naturally, do for those boys exactly what I want to do for them (minus the smooching/cuddles, that'd be mega-gross). And most of those boys are good sons and make time to spend with their momma's. Which means not only do I not get to do the sweet things for them, I also don't get the time with them either.
So where does that leave me? What's a girl to do?
Monday, March 12, 2012
Girls Don't Get It...
On Sunday I see this Facebook status:
Guy: So many girls just don't get it. At all. They think they know what guys want, and they have no clue. At least guys can admit they are clueless...
Over 30 comments followed, the most pertinent of which are:
Girl: Maybe it would help for the girls to not be so clueless if the gentleman communicated what they wanted, and left the girls from guessing??
Guy: The same girls I'm talking about are the ones who make you the bad guy when you tell them what you want. Because they really want one of two things: 1. What they want and 2. What they think YOU should want. Simple example: guy has a long or busy day/night. It's late. Girl calls/texts because she knows that guy's events have ended. She asks if guy "wants her to come over." At that point if guy's real answer is "no," he is the bad guy because he "doesn't want to see her." So the answer is usually "it's your call." Girl will of course come over, but really guy just wants to unwind...
Girl: So you just gave an example of a guy being clueless. You don't want a girl to come over just say it....its all about being tactfully straight forward.
Girl: you make yourself a bad guy by not being honest. Sure dating is complicated and you don't always say the right thing. But a girl would rather feel a little disappointed to hear a no then to feel like an a$$ when you don't really want to hang out and she comes over
Guy: the girl in question feels the guy "should" want to see her, the guy is wrong if he just wants to call it a night
Girl: the right girl would understand
This whole discussion ruffled my feathers a bit. I fully agree - the right girl would understand if the sincere truth is communicated in a gentle manner. If this young man feels stifled in his ability to express himself and be understood with this young lady, then perhaps she just isn't the one for him.
Almost every man I have dated has at one point or another expressed a similar sentiment. Heck, I've even backed out of tentative plans due to exhaustion. Were there fights? No. Hurt feelings? No. Rescheduled plans? Yes!
But then I think about my last dating experience. After three months, I wanted to be exclusive with the young man, however, he was not in the same place. Did I think he should want what I wanted? Guilty as charged. But I also honestly think I did not make him out to be the bad guy. He wasn't the one who chose to walk away, I was. Maybe he felt like he was the bad guy. I'm not going to argue who was or wasn't, but I will say communication was had and appropriate decisions made accordingly. No hard feelings. One of the worst things you can ever do in a relationship is ask someone to make a decision that is not right for them or not on their timeline.
I don't understand why scenarios such as these have to be so complicated! People shouldn't take themselves so seriously and read destruction into every little detail that doesn't scream, "I love you!" Likewise, they shouldn't read love into every little detail that doesn't scream, "I can't stand you!"
Just. Chill. Out!
Guy: So many girls just don't get it. At all. They think they know what guys want, and they have no clue. At least guys can admit they are clueless...
Over 30 comments followed, the most pertinent of which are:
Girl: Maybe it would help for the girls to not be so clueless if the gentleman communicated what they wanted, and left the girls from guessing??
Guy: The same girls I'm talking about are the ones who make you the bad guy when you tell them what you want. Because they really want one of two things: 1. What they want and 2. What they think YOU should want. Simple example: guy has a long or busy day/night. It's late. Girl calls/texts because she knows that guy's events have ended. She asks if guy "wants her to come over." At that point if guy's real answer is "no," he is the bad guy because he "doesn't want to see her." So the answer is usually "it's your call." Girl will of course come over, but really guy just wants to unwind...
Girl: So you just gave an example of a guy being clueless. You don't want a girl to come over just say it....its all about being tactfully straight forward.
Girl: you make yourself a bad guy by not being honest. Sure dating is complicated and you don't always say the right thing. But a girl would rather feel a little disappointed to hear a no then to feel like an a$$ when you don't really want to hang out and she comes over
Guy: the girl in question feels the guy "should" want to see her, the guy is wrong if he just wants to call it a night
Girl: the right girl would understand
This whole discussion ruffled my feathers a bit. I fully agree - the right girl would understand if the sincere truth is communicated in a gentle manner. If this young man feels stifled in his ability to express himself and be understood with this young lady, then perhaps she just isn't the one for him.
Almost every man I have dated has at one point or another expressed a similar sentiment. Heck, I've even backed out of tentative plans due to exhaustion. Were there fights? No. Hurt feelings? No. Rescheduled plans? Yes!
But then I think about my last dating experience. After three months, I wanted to be exclusive with the young man, however, he was not in the same place. Did I think he should want what I wanted? Guilty as charged. But I also honestly think I did not make him out to be the bad guy. He wasn't the one who chose to walk away, I was. Maybe he felt like he was the bad guy. I'm not going to argue who was or wasn't, but I will say communication was had and appropriate decisions made accordingly. No hard feelings. One of the worst things you can ever do in a relationship is ask someone to make a decision that is not right for them or not on their timeline.
I don't understand why scenarios such as these have to be so complicated! People shouldn't take themselves so seriously and read destruction into every little detail that doesn't scream, "I love you!" Likewise, they shouldn't read love into every little detail that doesn't scream, "I can't stand you!"
Just. Chill. Out!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Lack of Commitment
Yesterday's post had a few of you wondering what exactly I was getting at. I didn't want to bias your feedback before I received some. I hope this explains.
Dating someone regularly, continuing to date (including kissing and hand-holding), yet continuing to be non-exclusive makes a person a little confused eventually. I recognized no two people are always on the same page. I definitely support moving into exclusivity gradually and am very patient and supportive however...
After a certain amount of time*, you want to be able to call the person you are dating when you have had a rough day and have ijustwannabehelditis.
After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to let your guard down and not worry that he will reject you simply because you aren't 100% all the time.
After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to grab his hand the moment you get out of the car to walk somewhere without wondering if it is okay.
After a certain amount of time, you want to give him a goodnight kiss each and every night without wondering if he cares about you enough to want to kiss you that day.
After a certain amount of time, you don't want to have to wonder if you are going to be going out that weekend.
After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to be part of his routine.
After a certain amount of time, you want to stop worrying if that person he is texting while you are together is another person he is dating.
After a certain amount of time, you want to know you will have special days together - birthdays, holidays, celebrations of important events...
After a certain amount of time, you know he has seen enough of the basic elements of you to have a pretty good idea whether or not he wants to be with you.
And after a certain amount of time, your little heart needs something more and you have to walk away from something uncertain that could have been beautiful in hopes of finding something certain even more beautiful.
*In this situation, three solid months of at least twice weekly outings, five months total
*disclaimer* I would not feel okay with posting this if I didn't point out that this individual is, in fact, an amazing, wonderful young man - one of the very finest I have ever encountered. Seriously. I have nothing but the very highest of respect and care for him. Our timing was a little off. After a certain amount of time, we both needed different than what we had at that moment. I know we will both find what we need with the person who is right when the time is right.
Dating someone regularly, continuing to date (including kissing and hand-holding), yet continuing to be non-exclusive makes a person a little confused eventually. I recognized no two people are always on the same page. I definitely support moving into exclusivity gradually and am very patient and supportive however...
After a certain amount of time*, you want to be able to call the person you are dating when you have had a rough day and have ijustwannabehelditis.
After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to let your guard down and not worry that he will reject you simply because you aren't 100% all the time.
After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to grab his hand the moment you get out of the car to walk somewhere without wondering if it is okay.
After a certain amount of time, you want to give him a goodnight kiss each and every night without wondering if he cares about you enough to want to kiss you that day.
After a certain amount of time, you don't want to have to wonder if you are going to be going out that weekend.
After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to be part of his routine.
After a certain amount of time, you want to stop worrying if that person he is texting while you are together is another person he is dating.
After a certain amount of time, you want to know you will have special days together - birthdays, holidays, celebrations of important events...
After a certain amount of time, you know he has seen enough of the basic elements of you to have a pretty good idea whether or not he wants to be with you.
And after a certain amount of time, your little heart needs something more and you have to walk away from something uncertain that could have been beautiful in hopes of finding something certain even more beautiful.
*disclaimer* I would not feel okay with posting this if I didn't point out that this individual is, in fact, an amazing, wonderful young man - one of the very finest I have ever encountered. Seriously. I have nothing but the very highest of respect and care for him. Our timing was a little off. After a certain amount of time, we both needed different than what we had at that moment. I know we will both find what we need with the person who is right when the time is right.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Commitment
Doesn't almost everything in life require a commitment to realize the maximum potential of results?
If you commit yourself to a fitness and diet regime, would it do good if you only participated in that one day per week? A little, but in order to see the full impact, you would have to submerse yourself.
If you commit yourself to continuing education, what is better, one day per week, or fully enrolling?
At work, if you begin a project, but only work on it two days per week, wouldn't you be so much better off committing fully until you are finished?
Look at the chart below, which I pulled from a project management site - higher involvement increases commitment naturally and visa-verse.
In my opinion, so goes with relationships. I've been accused of being a serial monogamist. The thing is, once someone has my heart, I have a very hard time trying to get to know other fabulous young men. I am a full advocate of everyone working into commitment/exclusivity on a timeline that works for them, but it needs to happen. Even with my gym routine, I started out with three days per week for a year, then four days per week for a year, etc. and only when I was fully committed did I see the best results.
If a man has caught my attention and I his, we deserve the opportunity to find out what the relationship could or couldn't be. In order to fully consider a relationship and the positives or negatives it could have in my life, I feel the best route is some sort of consistency of involvement on the horizon.
What do you think?*
Is commitment - aka exclusivity- a necessary step in dating? How long have you dated before becoming exclusive with your significant other and others past? Have you ever walked away from a great relationship because the other person wouldn't commit?
*I have received a lot of feedback in regards to how I feel about "levels of commitment." I apologize for the miscommunication - that wasn't my intended question. My intended questions are the actual questions I asked in the last paragraph.
If you commit yourself to a fitness and diet regime, would it do good if you only participated in that one day per week? A little, but in order to see the full impact, you would have to submerse yourself.
If you commit yourself to continuing education, what is better, one day per week, or fully enrolling?
At work, if you begin a project, but only work on it two days per week, wouldn't you be so much better off committing fully until you are finished?
Look at the chart below, which I pulled from a project management site - higher involvement increases commitment naturally and visa-verse.
In my opinion, so goes with relationships. I've been accused of being a serial monogamist. The thing is, once someone has my heart, I have a very hard time trying to get to know other fabulous young men. I am a full advocate of everyone working into commitment/exclusivity on a timeline that works for them, but it needs to happen. Even with my gym routine, I started out with three days per week for a year, then four days per week for a year, etc. and only when I was fully committed did I see the best results.
If a man has caught my attention and I his, we deserve the opportunity to find out what the relationship could or couldn't be. In order to fully consider a relationship and the positives or negatives it could have in my life, I feel the best route is some sort of consistency of involvement on the horizon.
What do you think?*
Is commitment - aka exclusivity- a necessary step in dating? How long have you dated before becoming exclusive with your significant other and others past? Have you ever walked away from a great relationship because the other person wouldn't commit?
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
My South African Gym Boyfriend
For almost a year now, I've had the pleasure of working out at the same time as a charming fellow who has taken a fancy to me. My friends know him as "Gym Boyfriend."
I relish my gym time - it is my time to detox, to reflect, to think, to end the stresses of the work day. I don't prefer to date anyone from the gym because that could possibly taint my refuge. I haven't really had to worry about too many men at the gym trying to bust a move because, well, there are other ladies who clearly want moves busted, whilst I cover myself more than adequately, actually sweat enough to soak a shirt (Gross, right?), and always have my marshmallows stuffed in my ears.
I've only had two men hit on me at the gym (and one woman...but that's for another time). Both of them were beefy, muscular, dark chocolate South Africans...in Utah of all places.
Gym boyfriend asked for my number back in November and, whilst we have talked since then, the follow-through with his request didn't happen until about three weeks ago, at which time he physically handed me his phone (he said I'm hard to pin down - pffffft. Okay, so maybe I am...) and asked me to enter my number. So I did.
He texted me twice and called me once that very day (I was busy and couldn't respond). After a few texts, I decided to give him the heads-up that I'd been dating someone (no longer am) for a few months although we weren't exclusive. He backed off a little. Rightfully so.
A few days later, on a Sunday, I get a text asking how my day was. I responded with all the good vibes of the day and that church had been great. He made no response about church. I wondered, "Hmm...I just assume I give off that totally LDS vibe, but maybe, just maybe..."
I texted, "Random question. Are you LDS?"
"LDS? What's that? You are confusing me."
"Mormon."
"No. Are you?"
"Very much."
"Mormons are good people, but I thought they don't date outside of their faith."
"I did when I was younger, but now I am done dating for fun and only date seriously."
"This is very interesting. I will call you tomorrow and we will talk about this some more."
I never heard from him again. I've seen him at the gym twice and he avoids me like the plague.
Upon bemusedly telling the story to a dude friend who is of no religion at all, I asked, "Is he afraid of me now or something? It's kinda hilarious!"
His response? "He isn't afraid of you at all. He's afraid of what he's not going to get from you."
Ah. Touché. All those months of staring at my J-Lo booty in tight gym pants...for nothing.
I relish my gym time - it is my time to detox, to reflect, to think, to end the stresses of the work day. I don't prefer to date anyone from the gym because that could possibly taint my refuge. I haven't really had to worry about too many men at the gym trying to bust a move because, well, there are other ladies who clearly want moves busted, whilst I cover myself more than adequately, actually sweat enough to soak a shirt (Gross, right?), and always have my marshmallows stuffed in my ears.
I've only had two men hit on me at the gym (and one woman...but that's for another time). Both of them were beefy, muscular, dark chocolate South Africans...in Utah of all places.
Gym boyfriend asked for my number back in November and, whilst we have talked since then, the follow-through with his request didn't happen until about three weeks ago, at which time he physically handed me his phone (he said I'm hard to pin down - pffffft. Okay, so maybe I am...) and asked me to enter my number. So I did.
He texted me twice and called me once that very day (I was busy and couldn't respond). After a few texts, I decided to give him the heads-up that I'd been dating someone (no longer am) for a few months although we weren't exclusive. He backed off a little. Rightfully so.
A few days later, on a Sunday, I get a text asking how my day was. I responded with all the good vibes of the day and that church had been great. He made no response about church. I wondered, "Hmm...I just assume I give off that totally LDS vibe, but maybe, just maybe..."
I texted, "Random question. Are you LDS?"
"LDS? What's that? You are confusing me."
"Mormon."
"No. Are you?"
"Very much."
"Mormons are good people, but I thought they don't date outside of their faith."
"I did when I was younger, but now I am done dating for fun and only date seriously."
"This is very interesting. I will call you tomorrow and we will talk about this some more."
I never heard from him again. I've seen him at the gym twice and he avoids me like the plague.
Upon bemusedly telling the story to a dude friend who is of no religion at all, I asked, "Is he afraid of me now or something? It's kinda hilarious!"
His response? "He isn't afraid of you at all. He's afraid of what he's not going to get from you."
Ah. Touché. All those months of staring at my J-Lo booty in tight gym pants...for nothing.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Dates: When you Reject One
I have this little philosophy.
Always accept a first date unless you know a relationship would never develop.
Pretty simple, right?
Yet, the jury is out on this one. I've heard two other philosophy's that friends try to convince me of:
1. Always accept a first date.
2. Never accept a first date unless you know a relationship could develop.
I am also often mistaken for much younger than my rickety ole truth. My circumstances in life and my situation are in a different world than, say, a 23-year old. That does not mean I write them off, I do try to give each a chance. But let's say you are in your second year of college, live with your parents, have no job, have no vehicle, and still have the bright and dewy deer-in-the-headlights eyes looking at the "big, grown up world." We, most likely, are not ever going to have a relationship. More severe is someone in that situation over the age of 25. Do I accept a date invitation? Do I let him spend his hard-earned few dollars (or allowance) on me?
One man friend of mine argues that a man isn't necessarily interested in a romantic relationship when he first asks on a date, simply in getting to know the young lady better. I see the point. But I asked this of the same man friend: He is a sweetheart, but I'd interacted with him enough already to know we weren't the best matches for each other. YES, I did judge based off of "position in life." YES, I did judge based off of aesthetics. The sum of the parts makes the whole right? Do guys like it better if a girl "just gives me a chance." Or do they prefer to not waste their time on a first date? Because I am fully prepared to go on every first date extended if you honestly believe it really is better to go on one date even if you know it isn't going anywhere. I mean, if there are three strikes in my head before I even go out with the guy, why do it?
He responded: "...The one time I've actually been turned down for a first date, even though the girl's excuse was likely legitimate, crushed my fragile little ego. Of course I got over it, went out there again...Dating is SUPPOSED to be about making personal connections with people, that MAYBE evolve into romance. I think so many of us focus on the latter part of that process, though, that we forget about the FORMER. Was this guy interested in making you his "sweetie pie" right off, or did he just want to get to know you better? I know a lot of guys go into a first date hoping to start a long-term dating relationship with a girl, but I don't know that everyone does on EVERY date. All I can say is that I understand your reasons for saying "no," I know how much it sucks to get turned down, and, as a culture, we take the first date WAY too seriously."
I don't take a first date seriously, truthfully (I wait til date three of four before I start truly wondering about the future), but if I know (c'mon, when you know, you know, right? We've all been there...) there is never a chance, should I go? If I am not physically attracted at all? If I find conversation awkward and pointless? If I'd have to be his sugar momma?
Jury? Verdict?
Always accept a first date unless you know a relationship would never develop.
Pretty simple, right?
Yet, the jury is out on this one. I've heard two other philosophy's that friends try to convince me of:
1. Always accept a first date.
2. Never accept a first date unless you know a relationship could develop.
I am also often mistaken for much younger than my rickety ole truth. My circumstances in life and my situation are in a different world than, say, a 23-year old. That does not mean I write them off, I do try to give each a chance. But let's say you are in your second year of college, live with your parents, have no job, have no vehicle, and still have the bright and dewy deer-in-the-headlights eyes looking at the "big, grown up world." We, most likely, are not ever going to have a relationship. More severe is someone in that situation over the age of 25. Do I accept a date invitation? Do I let him spend his hard-earned few dollars (or allowance) on me?
One man friend of mine argues that a man isn't necessarily interested in a romantic relationship when he first asks on a date, simply in getting to know the young lady better. I see the point. But I asked this of the same man friend: He is a sweetheart, but I'd interacted with him enough already to know we weren't the best matches for each other. YES, I did judge based off of "position in life." YES, I did judge based off of aesthetics. The sum of the parts makes the whole right? Do guys like it better if a girl "just gives me a chance." Or do they prefer to not waste their time on a first date? Because I am fully prepared to go on every first date extended if you honestly believe it really is better to go on one date even if you know it isn't going anywhere. I mean, if there are three strikes in my head before I even go out with the guy, why do it?
He responded: "...The one time I've actually been turned down for a first date, even though the girl's excuse was likely legitimate, crushed my fragile little ego. Of course I got over it, went out there again...Dating is SUPPOSED to be about making personal connections with people, that MAYBE evolve into romance. I think so many of us focus on the latter part of that process, though, that we forget about the FORMER. Was this guy interested in making you his "sweetie pie" right off, or did he just want to get to know you better? I know a lot of guys go into a first date hoping to start a long-term dating relationship with a girl, but I don't know that everyone does on EVERY date. All I can say is that I understand your reasons for saying "no," I know how much it sucks to get turned down, and, as a culture, we take the first date WAY too seriously."
I don't take a first date seriously, truthfully (I wait til date three of four before I start truly wondering about the future), but if I know (c'mon, when you know, you know, right? We've all been there...) there is never a chance, should I go? If I am not physically attracted at all? If I find conversation awkward and pointless? If I'd have to be his sugar momma?
Jury? Verdict?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Leftover Dates
I love food. Love.
The thing is, I just can't eat much of it. Like last Saturday, for instance - I went out for The Pie pizza and guess who only ate one piece before declaring she was so full she was gonna pop? I seriously disappoint myself sometimes. I had such ambitions - four pieces and a cookie from Smart Cookie.
I digress. I'm always up for yummy food. But what to do with the leftovers when I'm not typically a huge leftovers fan? And how many times do I just want a bite or two of a cookie or some other sweet treat, but don't want to waste the rest?
This is where a man friend comes into play. Men, you date me, you get to eat wherever you want and get at least half of my meal too. I'm a bargain, fellas!
Come and get it!
The thing is, I just can't eat much of it. Like last Saturday, for instance - I went out for The Pie pizza and guess who only ate one piece before declaring she was so full she was gonna pop? I seriously disappoint myself sometimes. I had such ambitions - four pieces and a cookie from Smart Cookie.
I digress. I'm always up for yummy food. But what to do with the leftovers when I'm not typically a huge leftovers fan? And how many times do I just want a bite or two of a cookie or some other sweet treat, but don't want to waste the rest?
This is where a man friend comes into play. Men, you date me, you get to eat wherever you want and get at least half of my meal too. I'm a bargain, fellas!
Come and get it!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Gleeful Love
I caught a few minutes of Glee the other night, something I rarely do anymore.
Mr. Schuester proposed to Emma. Yes, Emma of the obsessive compulsive germaphobia.
Emotions and thoughts came flooding to me. I recently have been worried a bit too much about my flaws, more importantly, that the people I want to embrace me most will reject me because of those flaws.
But I look at Mr. Schue and crazy, crazy Emma. He loves her. He loves her unconditionally, intensely, in spite of and because of all of her flaws. They both know they will have to work incredibly hard to make it work, yet they proceed with faith.
Mr. Schue has it right - I want a Schue & Emma kinda love.
Mr. Schuester proposed to Emma. Yes, Emma of the obsessive compulsive germaphobia.
Emotions and thoughts came flooding to me. I recently have been worried a bit too much about my flaws, more importantly, that the people I want to embrace me most will reject me because of those flaws.
But I look at Mr. Schue and crazy, crazy Emma. He loves her. He loves her unconditionally, intensely, in spite of and because of all of her flaws. They both know they will have to work incredibly hard to make it work, yet they proceed with faith.
Mr. Schue has it right - I want a Schue & Emma kinda love.
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