Friday, February 27, 2009

Psychedelic

Upon watching a pretty decent straight-to-DVD movie, highlighting the comic styling’s of eye candy Paul Rudd, I experienced something previously unknown to my bewildered eyes.

I paused the movie for a few minutes to entertain a dear friend and then returned to my “date.”

PLAY.

Bright orange, purple, and green images whooshed across the screen where the actors had once been crisply dressed in all colors of the rainbow.

I was almost positive my friend hadn’t drugged me during his visit.

PAUSE.

PLAY – same response.

Three options:
1. I was indeed drugged
2. The wardrobe people were drugged and had all the actors suddenly change their outfits
3. My DVD player fritzed-out

One day of deliberation regarding our slightly-over-one-month relationship later, I decided to part ways with my new upconvert DVD player via Wal-Mart customer service.

I’m on the prowl for another to fill my lonely nights.

Does one put out a personal ad for electronics? :-)

I Swear

Actually, I don't.
I've never said a swear-word in my life. Can you believe it?
I was really frustrated the other night and said something to a friend about how a swear-word was going to creep out one of these days if I keep getting so frustrated and that I've never sworn, so that is a big deal.
She looked at me and said, "Me neither!"
I've never met another non-swearer - it was almost like meeting a unicorn - they exist! I am not alone in the world:-)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Drippin'

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered weak and weary,
Overheard a quaint and curious dripping on the shower floor,
While I prodded, nearly slipping, suddenly there came more dripping,
As of some water faintly rapping, rapping on my shower floor.
`'Tis some water,' I muttered, `tapping at my shower floor -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I'm recalling water was in the shower falling,
And each separate dying droplet wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I reached for the knob; - hopeful I had sought to clob(ber)
From my shower to cease the dripping - dripping for the annoyer -
For the rare and pestering drippage which I could hear through my door -
Dripping there for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of the shower curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic power never felt before;
So that now, to still the dripping of my shower, I stood reaching
`'Tis some turning to cease the dripping on my shower floor -
Some more turning to cease the dripping on my shower floor; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
Turn, did I, or begin, the wrong direction to explore;
Then the fact is water slapped me, and so gently not was tapping,
And so faintly screaming, slapping, rapping to the shower floor,
That I scarce was so foolish - here I opened wide the door; -
Wetness there, and nothing more.

Back into my bedroom turning, all my soul within me churning,
Soon inside I heard a laughing somewhat more amused than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely this is something at my humor's lattice;
Let me see then, what silly is, and this humor to explore -
Let my clothes be wet this moment and dryness soon explore; -
'Tis me drenched and nothing more!'

AKA - The shower was dripping, I reached in, I turned the handle the wrong way, and suddenly found myself drenched:-)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

XelaShay

To describe Shayla, ah, there simply is no word
She is by far more stunning than a horse herd
Despite her belief, I know she is not a nerd
And I bet she is tastier than a cheese curd (or so I've heard - from studly un-nerds)

Together, she and I will travel to Alaska this summer
Too bad she doesn't own a Hummer (cuz that'd be rad)
I love her quick wit and her coy smile
For her, I'd walk 500 miles

She is easily frightened and loves mushrooms
Her photography skills are in full bloom
She likes to go on cruises of the Disney-variety
And she makes me laugh and smile(ty)

She is petite and full of spunk
I daren't mention any junk in any trunk
So, here it is Shayla, my special dedication to you
To ensure, your days will not be sad or blue:-)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Returns

So, after some long thought and fortunate/unfortunate circumstances, here is my list of what the tax man beholdeth for me this year:

- A trip to Oregon/Washington
- A yet to be purchased laptop (I have been personal computerless for 4 years and my work laptop is retiring and they are replacing it with a desktop)
- Two Tires, 1 wheel, and an alignment
- 3 new movies
- 3 new CDs
- 3 new games
- 1 racquetball racket and 3 balls
- A yet to be purchased plane ticket to NYC for my April trip

The as of yet "Do I or Don't I's":
- Renew gym membership (which I will do no matter what come October's end, but figure I may be able to finagle a good deal for renewing so early)
- New dishes
- Ticket to "South Pacific" on Broadway (all the others I want to see will be half-price at the TKTS booth when I get there)

Decisions, Decisions!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ball

What is this proverbial ball?

How do we get the ball rolling? Who decided we wanted the ball to roll?
What causes us to then drop the ball?
If we were dropping it, we would have had to have been holding it, which means it couldn't have been rolling in the first place!

What about pick the ball up and run with it? I thought we wanted it to roll...

Then we are supposed to Get on the ball. Do we do this while it is rolling?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Fabulous

Some of my friends filled out an information sheet for me and did not grace me with the opportunity of reading anything they submitted.
The first question was, "If you could describe yourself in one word, it would be..."
They filled in the blank, Fabulous.
I learned this when my sheet was read aloud for those present (about 40-50) to Guess Who?
Someone immediately yelled out my name - after hearing only that one little word.
Now I'm going to be known as the girl who thinks she's Fabulous.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tax Man

I love tax returns. I love them. I get my biggest return ever this year. I love the tax man!

I want money, lots and lots of money, I want the pie in the skyyyyy! (Know that song?)

Monday, February 2, 2009

Just Friends

Two of my dear friends are having this debate: Can Guys and Girls ever be Just Friends?

My two cents:

I think that if you are friends with a person, male or female, there is something about them you are attracted to. If that element of what attracts you to them disappears, the friendship probably will as well.

Most often in opposite gender relationships, there is romantic inclination/expectation on one part or the other, not both. (That is where I am usually the big sucker, but anyway...)

Guys and girls can most definitely be friends as long as an element of expectation is made clear. If one of you establishes you will never date, then you can move past that "awkward moment," evaluate if whatever initially attracted you is enough foundation for a lasting friendship, and make the best of what you have to offer each other.

Thoughts?

Games

I love games, not the ones that hurt your brain, but the ones you get to know people better through participation in, the ones that make you laugh, the ones that make you feel just a little lighter in your heart.

Have you ever tried to play a game without knowing any of the rules?
Picture someone just randomly throwing out Settlers of Catan. Would you ever figure out how to play?

I feel a little like that when it comes to dating. What is this game? What are the rules? How long does it take? How do you win? Can you win? Who am I?!?!?!

Just when I think I've figured out the rules and I may actually be able to win, someone changes the game on me--rips away "Settlers" and hurls at me "Monopoly."