Lack of Commitment

Yesterday's post had a few of you wondering what exactly I was getting at.  I didn't want to bias your feedback before I received some.  I hope this explains.

Dating someone regularly, continuing to date (including kissing and hand-holding), yet continuing to be non-exclusive makes a person a little confused eventually.  I recognized no two people are always on the same page.  I definitely support moving into exclusivity gradually and am very patient and supportive however... 

After a certain amount of time*, you want to be able to call the person you are dating when you have had a rough day and have ijustwannabehelditis.

After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to let your guard down and not worry that he will reject you simply because you aren't 100% all the time.

After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to grab his hand the moment you get out of the car to walk somewhere without wondering if it is okay.

After a certain amount of time, you want to give him a goodnight kiss each and every night without wondering if he cares about you enough to want to kiss you that day.

After a certain amount of time, you don't want to have to wonder if you are going to be going out that weekend.

After a certain amount of time, you want to be able to be part of his routine.
 
After a certain amount of time, you want to stop worrying if that person he is texting while you are together is another person he is dating.

After a certain amount of time, you want to know you will have special days together - birthdays, holidays, celebrations of important events...

After a certain amount of time, you know he has seen enough of the basic elements of you to have a pretty good idea whether or not he wants to be with you.

And after a certain amount of time, your little heart needs something more and you have to walk away from something uncertain that could have been beautiful in hopes of finding something certain even more beautiful.

*In this situation, three solid months of at least twice weekly outings, five months total 

*disclaimer* I would not feel okay with posting this if I didn't point out that this individual is, in fact, an amazing, wonderful young man - one of the very finest I have ever encountered.  Seriously.  I have nothing but the very highest of respect and care for him.  Our timing was a little off.  After a certain amount of time, we both needed different than what we had at that moment.  I know we will both find what we need with the person who is right when the time is right.

Commitment

Doesn't almost everything in life require a commitment to realize the maximum potential of results?

If you commit yourself to a fitness and diet regime, would it do good if you only participated in that one day per week?  A little, but in order to see the full impact, you would have to submerse yourself.

If you commit yourself to continuing education, what is better, one day per week, or fully enrolling?

At work, if you begin a project, but only work on it two days per week, wouldn't you be so much better off committing fully until you are finished?

Look at the chart below, which I pulled from a project management site - higher involvement increases commitment naturally and visa-verse. 


In my opinion, so goes with relationships.  I've been accused of being a serial monogamist.  The thing is, once someone has my heart, I have a very hard time trying to get to know other fabulous young men.  I am a full advocate of everyone working into commitment/exclusivity on a timeline that works for them, but it needs to happen. Even with my gym routine, I started out with three days per week for a year, then four days per week for a year, etc. and only when I was fully committed did I see the best results.

If a man has caught my attention and I his, we deserve the opportunity to find out what the relationship could or couldn't be.  In order to fully consider a relationship and the positives or negatives it could have in my life, I feel the best route is some sort of consistency of involvement on the horizon.

What do you think?*

Is commitment - aka exclusivity- a necessary step in dating?  How long have you dated before becoming exclusive with your significant other and others past?   Have you ever walked away from a great relationship because the other person wouldn't commit?

*I have received a lot of feedback in regards to how I feel about "levels of commitment."  I apologize for the miscommunication - that wasn't my intended question.  My intended questions are the actual questions I asked in the last paragraph.