Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Confidence is interesting. I used to try when I was younger, and I never pulled it off. Now I don't try and it's there.

I once had a man friend, who was trying to figure out my age, tell me, "Well, I'd guess you are pretty young by the way you look, but you are too confident to be young." Huh.

Some men are attracted to confident women, but I can testify with 1,000% certainty that some men are extremely turned off by this. Being the independent woman I am, I suppose I wouldn't want the ones who are turned off by it anyway.

But it does make me wonder - how independent is too independent? Where is the line?

And I just realized I tie "confident" and "independent" together. They really do go hand-in-hand. Or do they?


S.R. Braddy said...

If you start singing Beyonce every time a man asks you out, you're too independent.

Larissa said...

Well, I think you just pinpointed my problem...dang it.

Janell said...

Confidence gives you the chutzpah necessary to act independently.

Too independent is when one says, "I never have, don't now, and never will need any other person."

Too confident is when one says, "I never have, don't now, and never will need any help, advice, assistance, knowledge, or wisdom from any other person or source. I already know and am already everything I need to be."

I agree that it seems many men prefer women who are needy and cannot act independently or who lack confidence. I've got a nice, long rant on that topic, but I'll just let you insert your own.

And, yup, I agree that a confident woman shouldn't bother acknowledging (in a dating sense) a man who thinks little of her confidence and independence.

I think one reason DH and I get along as well as we do is because we both know that we don't _need_ one another in most things, but we both choose to want one another. We're a stronger team when we channel our individual independence and confidence together. It's also nice to know that I've got his back and that, likewise, he's got mine.

Dashbo said...

The Source of my confidence lies in knowing who I am always depend on - and knowing that He will never let me down.

This helps me realize that I can be just fine independent of everything else :)

Dashbo's no-brainer math for right-brained folk. said...

Once again, grammar-check is not working.

Heidi said...

Larissa, this may be just a complete tangent off the subject, but I am running into a parallel issue. I feel I am confident, and independent for the most part. But I'm finding that the men see that and run. However, I don't want to be independent for the rest of my life. I am searching for someone I can depend on. I want that other source of support and be that for him. I do everything on my own because I have to, not because I want to. Confidence should be a staple in everyone's personality. I don't think it and independence should go hand in hand completely. Independence is relative in my opinion.

Shayla said...

confident and independent...two problems I know I have and yet two things I'm not willing to sacrifice. Weird.