Every day, I share communications with my ladies and men regarding those there may or may not be romantic inclinations towards. I know, I know, shock, shock, surprise, surprise.
Some of them are having success, some are not - I myself am in one of those two categories, which one I have yet to determine.
We have all found ourselves fretting over minutia. My mind wandered back to a couple of blogs I wrote that were eye-opening experiences for me and helped me stop the fretting. I appreciated the reminder so, if any of you out there need this too, here you go.
He's Just Not That Into You
I'm sure you have all seen the movie, but how about the book?
"He's Just Not That Into You," in my opinion, is a hard-knock of reality pie lambasted in the face of woman-kind in general. You know what else? That pie never tasted so good.
Countless hours have been spent lamenting over the woes of male/female communication with my darlings of the fairer sex. This lunacy will stop.
To sum it all up, when you ask yourself these questions, you now know the answer:
-He's giving all the signals, but not doing anything - what's the deal?
-Why isn't he calling?
-Why isn't he asking me out?
-Why isn't he committing?
-Why isn't he making a move?
He's just not that into you!
The reality is harsh, but if a man likes you enough, he will find a way to ask you out, no excuses. He is not too busy (seriously how long does it take to pick up the phone or send a text), too shy, too damaged, too out of town, or too anything else except too not into you! No matter how shy/busy/scared he is, he will find a way to overcome all obstacles if he is that into you.
Besides, do you really want a man who can't manage his time well enough to find 5 minutes to call you? Someone who doesn't call when they say they will (which by the way means they are definitely not thinking about you)? Someone who is so shy he can't even get over it enough to ask your awesome self out? Someone who has so many issues he can't look past himself? C'mon, seriously - you want that?!? Correct me if I'm wrong, but, don't you deserve more?
Yes, there are exceptions to these rules, but for the most part, you need to consider yourself the rule in these types of situations.
So why wouldn't he just tell you he isn't that into you?
Wouldn't you rather pull your teeth out one at a time sans medication than tell someone you know is fantastic that they aren't your kind of fantastic?
Why is He Just Not That Into You
I can humbly accept the fact when I am just not a particular young man's desired commodity. The elephant in the room traipsing, nay promenading about is, "Why?"
Analyzing this too much leads to self-deprecation, many a tub of Ben & Jerry's, and a consequential sugar hang-over...so don't do it!
My heart-your-face friend Anna has a philosophy that all the men who don't want us are indubitably gay. As true as that may be, I have a different school of thought: Ice cream.
Picture the dating pool as Baskin Robbins - 31 flavors of frozen delightfulness. Each of those flavors is someone's favorite, each of them is highly desirable to someone, somewhere. If my favorite flavor is chocolate raspberry, there is nothing you can do to convince me to want another flavor. If you ask, "What is wrong with the other flavors?" my answer will be, "Nothing! I just want this one."
Just because someone doesn't want your Very Berry Strawberry doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it. Soon enough, dreamalicious hunkomania is going to walk into your store and you are his favorite flavor. Rest assured, he is going to want to get him a piece of that! As Ross would say, "Grab a spoon."