Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Will Not Ask a Man on a First Date

I will not ask a man on a first date if I know I am interested in a relationship with him.  If I simply need a date for an event and find a certain young man the one who would have the most interest in the event, I have no problem with asking first.

Why am I such a stickler?  Regardless of all of the exceptions, all of the stories, all of the happy couples, my personal experiences aim me the direction of this rule.

I need a man who wants to spend time with me so much that he puts himself out there by actually asking me.  In my opinion and experiences, if the man does not have enough interest in me to man up and actually ask, then why should I?

I need a man who will take charge, open doors, spend a few bucks on me, spend time planning, etc.  It isn't necessarily the act that is so important, it is the meaning behind the act and all of the other areas of a potential relationship this builds upon: respect, patience, hard-work, organization, service, perseverance, attraction, etc.

I demand to be treated with nothing less than utmost respect.  For my first dating decade, plus a few years, I did not demand this.  Do I think I am a princess?  Certainly not.  But all women deserve to be treated as such (and men...although princes instead of princesses, naturally) and I will not act shameful in my requirements or pretend it does not matter to me.  I would rather be happy single than only somewhat-happy with someone.

In my previous post, I mentioned what my mother and I discussed.  Consider it a challenge to myself to find a man who will treat me as good as I treat myself, as I treat my friends, as my friends treat me.  I know I will be able to be happy in that kind of relationship.

Do not let yourself be one of those girls that has spent too much time with men who give you too little.  I'm not saying him asking you out first will or won't make a difference, I'm just saying this is one of the indicators in my life and, if you reflect, may be in yours.

4 comments:

S.R. Braddy said...

I will not ask a man on a first date, either.

Justina said...

I agree with you Larissa.

Willem said...

I agree with you there, men are just too easy no challenge.
I also agree with you in giving too much in a relationship , it is in a way quite selfish if you`re expecting something in return.

Singletonmd said...

I say screw all the cultural rules and dating stereotypes and yes, just make sure you are doing stuff every day that makes you feel joy. And if there is a guy that ends up sticking around from day to day then how lucky are the both of you! So yes, be happy single. Happy single people make happy married people :).
I have no idea how any of our lives will end up so I won't be the friend that promises that all will work out as you have desired, but I do have crazy amounts of HOPE and FAITH for this future for you AND me in these ventures.
BUT MEANWHILE we shall continue to have a ball with or without them till "he" joins us :).