Thursday, December 15, 2011

Guest Blogger: Kids Say the Darndest Things

Today, I'd like to present to you the first of several guest-bloggers I hope to have here on Larissa Explains It All.  My feisty, fast-paced, fantastic Keri has put together this hilarious "out of the mouths of babes" tale for you.  What funny things have children in your life done? 

The other day, while at my sister Skinny's house, I noticed there were six stockings hung by the chimney with care.  I was puzzled by this, since there are only five in her family, so I asked her six-year-old about it.

"Chief, how come you have six stockings, when there are only five people in your family?"

He did the tiniest little gasp and then said, "My mom said I can't tell you.  It's a secret."

Don't tell your six-year-old highly classified State Secrets


When I asked Skinny about this, she told me that she wasn't pregnant, and didn't know why he had said that.  She also said she'd had those stockings since before her youngest was born.  I really have no way of knowing if Skinny is really pregnant, or if she's saving the surprise for Christmas.  But either way, I thought it was funny that Chief has possibly inadvertently told me a secret, by trying really hard NOT to tell me.

That reminded me of some other funny things told by kids to adults.  When Skinny was about 5 or 6, our mom was a single mom.  One day during church, several friends had mentioned that their mothers were going to have babies.  Naturally, Skinny announced that her own mother was also going to have a baby.

This caused a lot of talk amongst the ladies of the church.   Skinny's gossipy Primary teacher went up to our mom to "congratulate" her (really trying to find out the scoop on how my SINGLE mom had gotten pregnant).  Mom was mortified, and had to explain that she was indeed not pregnant.

When Spitfire was about three, we went to Sea World in San Diego.  We decided to pay the extra money to feed fish to the dolphins and pet them in the tank.  One of the dolphins had a missing eye - it was just an empty socket.

Just under my arm you can see his eye socket

When we got home from our trip, Spitfire was telling Grandma about feeding the dolphins.  She told her, "Mommy poked the dolphin's eye out!"*

WHAT!? Where did she come up with that?  I didn't do JACK SQUAT to the dolphin's eye!  I have no idea why she would say such a thing!  I am still baffled by it to this day.

This is not the missing eye-dolphin, but Spitfire was clearly traumatized by the whole incident.  I think she was afraid of his scary-looking teeth
*I promise, that not NOW, nor have I EVER, poked a dolphin's eye out!

If you've enjoyed reading this guest post and want to read more about Keri's adventures as a traveler, a nurse, a musician, an actress, a runner, and a mom, please follow her at Living Vi-Keri-ously.


Aaron said...

Great stories, Keri! And I'll have to submit my guest-post soon.

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