I am soliciting any and all comments on this matter. Call it an experiment. I will not blog again until I receive at least 10 responses, so get typing!
I constantly bewilder myself with my lack of a "type" of man I prefer romantically. People ask me, I don't have an answer- all of the men I have dated or been attracted to have seemingly nothing in common.
But I realized I have strong impressions about the "type" of man most of my friends should be with. Many conversations revolve around: "What do you think of so-and-so and whats-his-name? Are they a match?" Although this truly is none of our business, we can't help but make it our business.
So I thought I would ask all of you - and please do comment, ALL of you.
What type of man do you picture me with? I am oh-so-curious.
Five qualities of a man for Larissa as I think of them off the top of my head:
a) someone who can appreciate theater (at minimum)
b) someone with nice, toned arms
c) possibly a slight bit introverted
d) someone with dedication
e) someone who can start a campfire
f) someone who strives to make and obediently keep covenants
Hugh jackman...sigh..anyway. I picture you with a handsome (duh) really good guy, who is kind and supportive and so fun. P.s. you are awesome. Love you girl!
I have been thinking about this since you wrote the blog. Here is what I came up with. In three words.
Strong Silent Guy.
And now, in more words:
One who gives you the spotlight and watches you in amazement and is in complete awe of your beauty and talent but is your complete equal as you are strong in the right brain attribute he is in the left brain attributes.
A complete opposite in most respects but fits perfectly into your life. Like a puzzle piece.
STRONG SILENT GUY.
I see you with someone that makes you laugh. This person has to be able to support you in all aspects in your life (i.e. go sit through any and all plays you are in). I agree with Janell in the fact that this person is someone who strives to make and obediently keep covenants. I believe that you shouldn't be with someone who is very opinionated, for both of your sakes. This person needs to have a direction in life and has to be committed to his work. Complete side note: I had a dream that I went on facebook and saw that you and Stephen were in a relationship. I then woke up, shook my head, and told myself that was one crazy dream. ;) Jk
I think of you with a thoughtful guy who has a slightly quirky sense of humor. Someone who makes you laugh unexpectedly and makes you think. Someone who'll support you and won't mind sitting back to let you shine, but is no wallflower himself (as in, he'll join in conversations you're having even if he doesn't know the people well or at all). A strong leader. Calm. Goal-oriented. Adores you and shows it in thoughtful (there's that word again!) little ways...
My awesome friend Hilarie sent me this message:
Well...the most obvious is definitely that he be temple worthy, worthy of the Priesthood, and have a current temple recommend. That is a MUST for most of us, I think.
After that, for you, I think he needs to love music and the arts because you do a lot of stuff like that...singing, plays, acting, dance...all of that. He's gotta like it because I think you'd want him to support you in your endeavors.
He'd also need to be patient and understanding...not that you are a person who makes people anxious, but with the plays and things you do, you will have a lot of time away from home with rehearsals and call times and things like that. He'll need to be able to step in at the spur of the moment to help with kids or housework or whatever.
He'll need to know how to cook in case a rehearsal goes late.
Definitely a sense of humor to match yours.
I'd think you would want someone who would encourage you to live your dreams...to fly, as Sister Hinckley called it...and help you live them too. He has to be someone who isn't intimidated by your success, but is proud of you in your successful endeavors.
I know that people say that physical appearance isn't important, but it is to me. Beauty (and handsomeness) is in the eye of the beholder, so your "dream guy" may not be physically attractive to everyone else. However, I think it is important that he takes care of himself. He doesn't have to look like Arnold Schwartzneggar, but you want a guy you know cares and takes care of the body God has given to him. The way his nose looks, or how his teeth are spaced...who cares. That's up to you if it bugs you or not, but physical fitness should be important...albeit, not top priority. That makes him shallow.
Some that are on my list:
-Of course...Temple and Priesthood worthy, and holds a current temple recommend.
-Supportive of my military career. The military is now a part of me. I don't know if I can give it up.
-Definitely a sense of humor
-Knows when its time to be a kid and time to be an adult.
-Encourages me to fly and live my dreams
-Likes the outdoors
-Physically attractive...to me
-Wants to learn to ballroom dance (I have this wild ambition to learn...and it would be fun to learn with my husband.)
Some of them are MUST haves...others are "it would be nice to have." They're just some on my list.
Hope this helps.
Love your guts.
I don't know you very well, and without looking at the comments of others who probably do, I thought I'd take a stab.
I see you with a quietly confident guy... Who is comfortable letting you be you as loudly as you want to do it. I think he'd have an appreciation for the arts that you participate in though not do so himself.
I think he'd be able to hold a conversation after a little bit of push.
That's all I got.
One thing I haven't seen anyone mention is someone who can make you lose your train of thought or give you goosebumps when he nuzzles the back of your neck...just a thought ;)
This is such a great question...How many of us have heard "I never would have seen you two together in a million years...."..there are so many factors that play into the final decision of a significant other..with that being said I truly feel that no matter what "type" fits you, there are some qualities that I feel you ultimately deserve (sappy moment alert)..granted I have not spent enough quality time to get an accurate account of your type..but you are so well rounded that I can only assume so many types fit your personality...someone that can make you laugh, not just few moments of LOLs but even just the times when a past moment brings a chuckle or a giggle or even a slight grin, I loved the comment of " but is no wallflower himself (as in, he'll join in conversations you're having even if he doesn't know the people well or at all)", you seem to have the ability to be the life of the party without having to know ANYONE at the party and you don't want to have to babysit or make sure he is having a good time, you want to interact with everyone..someone who enjoys the arts but at the very least will support you in them..someone whose knees get weak and breath becomes short because you simply walked into the room, even 60 years later...someone who becomes stronger and better because you are beside them...when all dates are filled with the excitement and giddiness of a first date, whether going to the ballet or sitting home watching a dvd...when there is no reason needed to get you chocolates, flowers, a card or even a little toy out of the .25 cent machine...someone to, at the very least, OFFER to help cook and clean...Wow this is very sappy, I could go on and on...I don't think any of this actually even answered the question. You have so many different types that you have dated cause you are that rare person that truly cares for everyone.
I've thought long and hard about this. I'm not so concerned about putting together my wishlist for your dream guy (even though being temple worthy is a must-have). I'm legitimately trying to predict the type of guy you'll ultimately end up with, based on what I think is most important to you, and what you do to attract guys.
For example, I'm not convinced that you'll necessarily end up with someone who appreciates the arts. Sure, he'll support you in it, but I don't think it's that important to you that you'll rule out all the guys who don't appreciate the arts. I DO think you will end up with a health-conscious husband. If he doesn't regularly work out, it's because he regularly plays lots of sports.
You won't end up with a sensitive guy, but he'll be smart enough to know how to act when you're feeling sensitive. That's not to say he is emotionless. Your type is someone who is smart, responsible, independent, and clean.
Lastly, I think you'll end up with someone who makes decisions quickly and is assertive.
This is all based on my observations of your last 5-10 relationships (I've lost count).
Wow! Thank you everyone! Your comments are truly dear and eye-opening to say the least.
@Janell - I'd appreciate toned arms and someone who can light my fire;-)
@Stephen - Ha. Ha. Ha.
@Amy - Love you too!
@Melissa - I like strong, I like being the star - great observations! Thank you so much for the time you put into thinking about this and our discussion on this:-) My best match will be someone who adds qualities that I don't have already - and silence is definitely one of them!
@Justina - glad to know that Stephen and I would be the couple of your dreams. You make me laugh.
@Megan - you know me well to add that bit in about the quirky sense of humor. Even if he doesn't have one, he has to appreciate mine! Can't wait for our trip!
@Janae - You are such an amazing Visiting Teacher! Thank you!!!
@Sheldon - you musn't tell people these things, lest all men know the secret way to my heart
@Me - Who on earth are you?!? Your comment is so well thought-out and insightful and deep and inside my head and...well...WHO ARE YOU?! I am intrigued to say the least!
@Jon - Definitely a different spin than everyone else took. The only thing I know for sure is that I need someone sensitive - maybe rough on the outside, but gentle on the inside. I've dated too many people inept at this. Sounds like you know a lot...and way to make me sound like a hussy!
I know sensitivity matters a lot to you. But I still stand by my statement. We can have further discussion about it if you'd like.
Oh, and I'm sorry if it sounds like I made you out to be a hussie. I can assure you, that was NOT my intent. :)
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