I have a dilemma.
Before you read this, know there is a lot of background I'm not sharing.
I have a certain individual, whom we will call X (not that kind of ex), in my life who out-right makes me uncomfortable, causes me a lot of emotional strife, and oozes negativity. X is caught up in a world self-pity/self-loathing, with little or no thought to how their actions impact others. Some might call it "blatant disregard." Most stories in X's presence are cut off with, "Well I blah blah blah." I recently learned that all this individual has shared with me regarding their past is false, although due to extremely sorrowful circumstances, X totally believes are truth.
Before I even knew X's name, X confronted me about not going out of my way to be their friend. I have no need to encounter them, so you'd have to be very observant and in want of my attention to even notice. When I do talk with X, I am kind and gentle and straight forward, although guarded.
Then there is the neediness issue. I hate to use this card, but when you can tell someone needs more than you have to give, and you don't even have time to adequately take care of your own needs (by choice, I'm not complaining), why would you willingly take on that friendship? Especially when you know it would be detrimental to your well-being. I don't have the time or emotional capacity to willingly put myself in that type of situation. Call me selfish, but I just can't do it and I don't want it.
The other day X confronted me about why I have not yet accepted a friend request on Facebook. At 8am on a Saturday morning (a mere 9 hours post-accusation), I found I had received a message saying , "Hey Hun. It's me, It still says pending, Why don't you add me okay?"
First of all, WHO/WHAT gave you the right to call me "Hun?" Second, WHY would you even want to be friends with someone you had to hunt down and demand to add you multiple times?
The thing is, I don't want X knowing anything about my personal life. Nothing. I don't feel safe with them knowing. This sounds very rude, but you all know you have encountered this type of situation at least once in your life, where there is this inexplicable feeling of knowing something is wrong.
What did I do? I ended up adding X, but on a very limited-profile basis. And you know what? He right away found the one medium I had not limited (chat) and said, "So I see you've added me, However, I can't see your wall, any photos or anything on your profile." I logged off.
Seriously?! It is called a "friend" request, not a "stalker" request.
Another of my friends asked why she felt so bad about this same situation and I responded something like, "We are taught to be Christ-like and we feel we need to show love and care and selflessness no matter what. We know how hard X has been working to overcome their past and want to give them the benefit of the doubt. However, this individual's behavior is destructive to our personalities." Sometimes, we have to put our own needs above those of others.
The clencher? I only have X in my life until mid-October. At which point I will likely never have another encounter.
I know I will be confronted yet again. I don't know what to do except pull that last mcmeanyface straw out and simply state I have no desire to be in contact in any way.
Any words of advice? I liken this to the story about the man carrying the serpent down the mountain and then the serpent biting the man. We should not knowingly walk into a situation we know is poison, no matter how much pity or guilt we feel.