Is your relationship a joke to you?
I understand there is a time and place for all types of humor, but there is something that has always bothered me in regards to joking about the person you love.
I was once toying with the idea of integrating a man I had loved back into my life - giving him another chance. I have waited a long while to post this, so as to remove myself from the situation. On perhaps our second re-outing together, he made a joke, in a very crass way, about stealing my virginity. Um?! SO NOT OKAY! I felt verbally raped at that moment. I know this is harsh language, but that is truly how I felt. My heart hit the floor and smashed into a million pieces - and hurt - too much - enough for me to know at that moment things were and always would be over.
When I expressed, rather calmly, to him how those types of comments made me feel, he would say I was overreacting and taking him/life too seriously. I had requested of him to please not make perverted jokes when they are implied towards me. His response? "Everyone knows I'm not talking about you." Then why did it make me feel so horrible and dirty? Don't get me wrong. I love a good innuendo and will be the first to laugh at or make one, but not in regards to my sacred relationship with my companion.
I also do not generally (time and place) find jokes about "the old ball and chain," "the nag," etc. to be acceptable. Aforementioned young man's response? "No matter who you end up with, they will make those jokes whether in front of your face or behind your back. So I feel it is better to have it out in the open."
How can anyone feel it is okay to joke hurtfully and negatively about the person they love more than anyone or anything? To imply such negativity about the person they have proclaimed to the world they want to spend forever with? Does this impress friends? Tell me, what does this do for the person?
I do not believe this. I have never heard my father make jokes like this. I have several dear male friends who I know would never make jokes like this about any woman. If these men exist, then someone else who is my match must exist. To expect me to believe that all men are this way? What a shame to think any woman is so naive.
I don't want any man making jokes about his intimacy (or lack thereof) with me or degrading me verbally in a way that violates our eternal sealing.
I do not understand how these cruel jokes are ever okay. Maybe that is one of the reasons I'm still single, but I will remain single until I find a man I know respects me in thought, word, and deed. This is all I ask. I do not need anyone to worship me or think I am perfect. I am about as far from perfect as they come.
There are, simply put, a lot of things about men I do not comprehend. I do, actually, adore many of the things about men that make "him and her" so, so unique...nothing quite like a masculine embrace:-) All of our differences aside, I deserve to be treated with respect and love. This sounds utterly cliche, but WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) applies to relationships too. I hope this isn't too bold of me to say, but I am sure the Lord would never make crass "banging" jokes about his eternal companion.
What do all of you think about this topic? What have you experienced in your lives/relationships? Am I off-my-rocker and in need of a reality check?