New York in Spring

I dropped a bomb on most of you by posting a rather cryptic photo and then taking off for a little vacation.  Whoops.  At least I was amused:-)

I'll give you my impressions on the shows as individual entries because, let's face it, they all deserve exclusive attention.

In the mean time, you all want to know what consumed my days.  Is "Bliss" a good enough answer?  No?  Okay, fine.  I'll be brief.

Thursday morning we peeked our heads above the subway around 7:15am, left our bags at our hotel, and headed for Alice's Teacup. Unfortunately, they don't rise as early as we do, so we walked up to the Natural History Museum and back waiting for 8am.  I enjoyed blueberry pancakes and pretending to drink tea for a photo op.  Off we went to the Harry Potter Exhibition for a fulfillment of one of Megan's dreams and to fill some time before we were allowed to check-in to our hotel.  We walked around, picked up sandwiches at Pret A Manger, visited 30 Rock, were given standy-by tickets to Jimmy Fallon (but were too napping to attend), and finally hit the hotel for nap-time after I induced a sugar coma with Magnolia Bakery's banana pudding.  We awoke just in time to prettify ourselves and hit up the Marriott Marquis for Wonderland.

Who pretends to drink tea for a cute photo?  Oh yeah...

You'd be shocked how difficult it is to find an English-speaking person in Times Square to take your photo

Friday morning I drug the girls to the Grand Central Terminal, then to my favorite jewelry store with Tiffany's "inspired" style - I bought myself a lil gem and they souvenired like crazy.  I also showed them the wooden escalators at Macy's and where Santa resides!  We wouldn't be in NYC, if I didn't make the traditional trip to Serendipity/Patsy's/Dylan's Candy Bar.  Megan's friend, Kristen, met up with us and the two of them chattered like jolly chipmunks over drool-inducing white pizza.  Mmmmm.

We attempted to then walk-off the goods with a trip to China town, but the efforts to battle off a food coma are indeed futile.  Our trip to China town was also bust -  you have to go into the scary back rooms to get anything good these days.  The evening hours found us at the Roxy store to buy one of my favorite hoodies (I guess the other ladies agreed cause they each bought one too!) and then off to Catch Me If You Can.  Our Utah-time'd bellies then thought it was time for dinner, so we hit up StarDust Diner, where the waiters and waitresses sing and dance whilst serving.

Grand Central Station Terminal

Saturday I may or may not have made a pregnant Keri walk 16 miles.  And you know what?  She is a TIGER!  I thoroughly wiped her out on walking for the rest of the trip, but how many women do you know who are 7-months pregnant, heck, not pregnant at all, who can walk 16 miles? 

We did most of the walking around the entire perimeter and throughout the inside of Central Park while Megan and her brother, Aaron, went to see Billy Elliot.  I can't forget to mention the shake-you-in-your-shoes deliciousness of Shake Shack we experienced for lunch.  If you go to NYC and you even remotely like burgers, fries, and shakes, you must go and eat all of them! Life with no regrets!  Speaking of no regrets, we actually dished out the big bucks for our tickets to How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying starring John Larroquette and Daniel Radcliffe.  W-O-W.

Pre-theater we enjoyed an Italian meal in cozy little place by our hotel -Radicchio- with seating for 16 - quaint, perfect portions, and perfect taste.  Post-theater we went clubbing.  No, you did not read incorrectly.  Keri is in an 80s cover band, Channel Z, and wanted to check out a group touted to be one of New York's best - Rubix Kube at the Canal Room.  Aaron knew how to get us right up in front of the band, so we weaved our way there for about an hour and a half and then our worn-out bodies pleaded with us to depart.  We obeyed.


Sunday we found ourselves back at Alice's Teacup for Mother's Day brunch.  Scones, glorious scones.  I'm not talking fried nastiness - I am talking English yumfest.  Then back to Central Park to see the Boat House, Bethesda Terrace, and more.   Megan had to bid a fond farewell to her darling brother as we made our way to Anything Goes.  Sutton Foster, please!  In case anyone doesn't know, she's one of my favorites.  I have never met her and was able to talk the other ladies into waiting at the stage door with me, but no luck:-(  We hungrily headed towards our hotel to an Indian Place - Bombay Bistro.  After all the "tour nazi" torture I'd been putting the ladies through, we decided to stay in for the evening to rest and watch Adjustment Bureau.

Alice's Teacup Curious French Toast

Monday morning whilst Keri and Megan enjoyed breakfast at our hotel, I scarfed a Lemon-glazed poppyseed muffing from Magnolia and briskly walked to the East shore of the island to a park with a lovely view of the Queensboro Bridge and the United Nations buildings.  Despite being worn to the bone, I was able to convince Keri and Megan to accompany me to a new adventure for me - The Highline - an elevated railway system not in use since the 80s which has been converted into an elevated park on the island's west side.  Next, we asked ourselves, "What is a trip to NY without seeing the Brooklyn Bridge?"  Another of my favorite locations in the city is the South Street Seaport area - off we went! Boarding the subway back towards Times Square, my heart sunk a little, realizing this was my last adventure in NYC for another year.  I thought we had ended our time there successfully, with Keri finding the purse she wanted and Megan getting her photos in the Barbie house, but ends up there was an incident at JFK where Megan's Crumbs Cupcakes fell frosting-side-down on the ladies' room floor - you can read about it here.

Queensboro Bridge

UN Buildings

The Highline

Brooklyn Bridge

Megan sadly staring at Keri's muffin post bathroom incident

I arrived back in SLC with an NYC sandwich, Crumbs cupcake, and Magnolia lemon muffin in tow for my "last" NYC supper.  The entire plane ride I kept falling asleep, then waking up with a jerk all worried that we were not going to have enough time to see what we wanted, or we had to be to the subway by a certain time, or we were almost late for our show, etc.

Am I glad to be home?  Do you really need to ask?

Dreams: Hair

I realized I was working for a new company, under a very handsome older doctor - think Tom Selleck or Harrison Ford.

Ends up the gentleman had a thing for me but was still married.

Next thing I knew, I was laying in a chair screaming and bawling my eyes out because one of his assistants had tied me down and was trying to cut my hair and dye it dark brown.

He came over to me and asked me why I was so distraught. I responded, "Because sometimes I feel as if my hair is all I've got!"

Then he hung his head, broken-hearted, and said that answered his question about if I loved him or not.  If sometimes I felt my hair was all I had, then I didn't have him.  But I was okay with it because he kinda creeped me out anyway...I just didn't want to break his heart.

Tres Bizzaro.

Search Terms v4

Time for your fourth edition of search terms which thoroughly amuse me that people have entered to find my blog:

• Can killer whales eat sharks
• All men are worthless
• Playful slap on butt
• Coconut Twix
• Bedwetting casting call
• Callipygous blog
• I'd rather get kicked in the balls than listen to Clarissa Explains it All
• Is Tobey Maguire Mormon
• Marriage is a great business decision
• Spitting toilet
• The awesomeness of Sharktopus

Big News Clarified

The big news, contrary to very popular reaction, is that my lil sissy, Britney, is getting married to Matt Hill next spring sometime on the Cincinnati Reds baseball field:-)  Now THAT is what I call a diamond (cymbal crash).

My apologies for not clearing this up sooner - I was off playing around here:

BIG NEWS!

The Facebook Experiment

When I decided to deactivate my Facebook account, the act was not premeditated.  I had no plans for what this may accomplish.  All I knew is that I felt it was a good, impromptu, harmless decision.  I did not know if the act would or would not aid my situation, but it wouldn't hurt to try.

Several unexpected things happened:

1. I don't feel "event envy" so-to-speak.  I don't see all the things everyone else is doing that I'm not and feel jealous or like a slacker for not being there.
2. I don't feel social overload.  I'm not getting five invites per day to things I may or may not truly want to attend, but I can promise you I felt guilt for every single one of those things I couldn't attend.
3. The people who truly want my company or correspondence have started e-mailing me, calling me, or texting me.  You mean there is life outside of Facebook?
4. I am more excited to see my friends.  I have more to say, more to hear, and I've been keeping everything to myself instead of posting witty status updates every two hours.

I listened to a KSL radio report on a  must-read CNN article recently regarding Facebook usage. Apparently, the more you use it to feel connected, the more disconnected you feel (perhaps from not being involved constantly in all the things everyone else is doing?), therefore, the more you have to use it in turn. There is an endless cycle of being disconnected.

I feel a little disconnected without it, but freeeeee from all the guilt of not being able to attend every single activity, free from knowing all my friends have problems I can't help them with, free from knowing the latest gossip that really doesn't matter. Liberating is the word.

BUT, I know I can't stay away forever because too many important tidbits and family communications are spread via Facebook - like sharing magical New York City vacation pictures!

Nice detox though, highly recommended.

Where were you on 9/11?

There are questions throughout history that immediately bring upon us mournful hearts.  For our parents, this question was, ""Where were you when JFK was shot?" For our grandparents, "Where were you when Pearl Harbor was bombed?"

Then, there are the questions that give us triumph:  "Where were you when Neil Armstrong took his first step on the moon?" "Where were you on D-Day when the troops stormed Normandy?"

For ten years, we have been asking each other this question, "Where were you on 9/11?"

Today, we ask ourselves this question: "Where were you when you found out Osama bin Laden was dead?"  Perhaps this question brings relief to some of you - relief of the ten years of hunting a terrorist, vindication for the many lives lost, hope for the future...

But I do still feel sorrow - the sorrow of knowing there is such terror in the world, the sorrow of remembering 9/11, the sorrow from knowing that this battle is far from over.

Where was I on 9/11?
I was in Pinegar apartments, my junior year of college.  I'd been following the news like a hawk in preparation for my Public Relations admittance exam.  As I stumbled out of bed to get ready for gymnastics class, my roommates pulled me into the living room saying something like, "You are probably going to want to see this."  I saw on my 27-inch tube television an image of one of the twin towers, smoke billowing from inside.

I remember walking to class trying to tell everyone I encountered what had happened.  Before the days when everyone had internet at their fingertips, time on campus typically meant being out of touch with reality for a bit.  We were all shocked.  I don't think any of us realized the ramifications of the events of that day.  My parents called me and told me to fill up my gas tank because gas in Ohio was over $4/gallon (in the day when gas was typically $1.50).  One of the questions on my PR entry exam was, indeed, "Who was the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks?"  That same PR entry exam started my path towards my New York City internship in 2003, where we visited Ground Zero on our first day.  I've taken many friends to this site since then.  I never could get my sister there until this past Thanksgiving when our hotel overlooked the construction for the new memorial - she was too afraid of the emotional impact the destruction would have on her.

Fast forward to last night.

Where was I when I heard the news about bin Laden?
I was sitting on the couch with my friends Ann, Megan, and Nichole at my dear Nichole's house in Draper.  I received a text from a number I did not know - "Osama bin Laden is dead.  The US has his body."  I thought it was some kind of texting hoax and if I texted back I was going to be charged some preposterous fee.  We all laughed at the absurdity of it all.  Minutes after we parted, Ann texted me to let me know my unknown texter was legit.  Nichole, Megan, and I then walked into the home of our friends Luke and Jonathan.  On the television, the news flashed through on every channel and they had the articles pulled up on the internet.  The whole world was abuzz with equivalent amounts of rejoicing and sorrow.

I ask you this: Where were you when you heard the news about bin Laden?  9/11?

Marriage - True Love or a Business Decision?

I think my ability to love a man in an eternal, selfless, unconditionally loving more-than-friends way is broken.  I listened to the general authorities council that they encourage us to get married young because the older we get, the more we develop tendencies that are not conducive to a happy marriage.  I don't believe those were moral-issue tendencies to which they referred.  I believe those were issues such as being overly independent, which in a relationship can translate to selfishness.  And I believe I am very guilty.

Every man I date I have a great time with.  But have I thought, "Holy cow!  What an amazing life partner he would be!?"  Like a team, you know?  I instead think, "He'd be fun to have around, but would my life really improve personally, professionally, spiritually from having him around forever?"  The answer is always, "I don't know."  Then it makes me think maybe I think too much of myself and no one will ever be that man whom I would "go into business with."

Are any of the men I've dated men I would, in the business world, go into business with?  Can I go into the business of eternal marriage with them?  Of building a life together?  Of creating life together?  I mean we are talking the BIG time.

I hear the men being counseled over and over again to get married, date, etc.  I hear them being reprimanded.  And I feel guilty because it isn't strictly their faults.  I try to give them a chance, I really do, but I just don't feel sure about any of them.  Then I wonder if maybe I should just pick one who is a good man and stick with him.  But doesn't he deserve that woman who is as head-over-heels unconditionally in love with him as he is her?  I've heard some say this doesn't matter to them, that he will take the woman he loves any way he can have her. I have loved, but I want to love my spouse as unconditionally as he loves me - it is only fair, isn't it?

I feel as if my capacity to love a man just isn't there.  But why?  It's not as if I was severely abused or damaged in some serious way in my childhood.  And my parents have the most romantically wonderful loving relationship anyone could ever hope for. 

I don't like going to people for help (I do love giving the help), yet a huge part of relationships is letting someone help you and helping someone else, compromising on daily schedules, making decisions based off of what is best for "we" instead of what is best for "me."  I have thirty years of decisions based on ME....just up and changing that is not going to be a simple task.

I worry I'll never find that person I just know is the right person.  Why?  I know I could have married two or three of the men I've dated and been happy, but I just can't bring myself to make that decision because I don't feel as if I know.  Is there someone out there who would be a better life partner?  If so, will I ever find him?  And when I do, will I feel there is someone yet who is a better match for me?

Do I demand way too much from men I date simply as an excuse to never have to take that leap of faith?  The easiest choice is to run away.

When will I ever just sit back and say, "My life is blessed, and you are a blessing in it, and I want to share our lives together?"

We, as human nature, fear the unknown.  I was unhappy once many years ago and I fear a decision that leads me into an unknown place where I could possibly have hurt again.  Marriage lets go of my independence - my choices are no longer my own and I lose control over my own life.  And it freaks me right out. 

I need to heed the words of the Church of England from today's big event, "people have forgotten God today and rely solely on each other in the marriage. The only way to make it work is by having faith in God." Oh, and George Michael - "You gotta have faith (a-faith-a-faith)."

Is marriage a business decision or is the fairy tale of true love real? 

Singles Ward Hopper: What is Wrong with Women in Singles Wards?

I happened upon this intriguing site yesterday while doing a search to see if the new boundaries for the singles ward restructurings were published.
(by the way, if you need to know what singles ward you are in, go here)

I have no idea how current the site is.  What I do know is that it is hilarious.  And harsh.  

The author, an anonymous thirty-two year old single male lawyer living in Salt Lake City, has been to every ward in the Valley and offers some answers to interesting questions:

How do you know you are at a singles ward?
What do you think of singles wards?
What do you think of singles ward Bishopric's?
Are you inactive? Do you have a testimony?

And, my favorite question, "What is wrong with the girls in singles wards?"

His answer is a slap across the face and I'd like to see what you all think (I've pulled only excerpts, go to his site for a full read-through):

"Two thirds of the young women are overweight.  These girls all think that because they have good personalities, or good jobs, or are well-educated that guys should care more about who they are than how they look.... young men will never want to be intimate with them if they're ... heavy...While beauty isn't the only important thing in a girl, it is the gateway to the other qualities which no man cares about exploring without the attraction...  Like men, women have an obligation to be happy, to procreate, to start a family, to experience humanity and love...Nobody would have wanted to kiss Sleeping Beauty if she were a fatty with a Ph.d.  ...you can't start a fire without a spark."

"The other third of the girls who aren't overweight have a different problem, which I'll illustrate by describing what happens when I go to dinner with them.  We sit down at a nice dinner, and they begin to talk about somebody who's suffering some medical or emotional problem.  They then begin to extol the virtues of holistic/herbal medicine and animal rights, which apparently this person who's suffering doesn't understand.  I nod in increasing frustration as they begin to praise vegetarianism...seems like many LDS women who aren't married seek to identify with bizarre belief systems, as if these beliefs have become their spouses, to the point they become blind to real life.  I am amazed how many women spend all dinner telling me about pharmaceutical companies conspiring to cover up a cure for cancer that holistic doctors have discovered, or who refuse to eat because they are doing "cleanses" with exotic fruit juices, as if somehow these fruit cleansers form covalent bonds with all the toxins in their bodies and clean them out...All of these beliefs have somehow replaced these women's testimonies and retarded their ability to appreciate and interact with traditional, non-artsy, down-to-earth males..."

"Then, there is another pervasive problem that I observe across LDS women before going on dates . . . pride....The girls start behaving in YSA wards like they did in high school, forming clicks, and deciding which groups of people they'll socialize with and which they won't...in which many of the best men in the YSA wards are overlooked because they refuse to participate in the superficiality, or lack the time or inclination to do so."

"The men, of course, have problems too, but not as many in my opinion.  They're overweight also, and some are generally losers...I don't think weight matters as much for men, though, even though I recognize the double-standard...  The biggest problem I've noticed with men as they get older in singles wards is they begin blaming their unhappiness in life on their parents rather than trying to change whatever is causing it themselves."

Interesting, no?  What do you think?  Feel free to comment anonymously;-)

Young Frankenstein

What do you do when some of your besties come up to you and excitedly ask, "Do you want to get season tickets with us for Broadway Across America at the Capitol Theater?"
Don't think.  Say, "YES!"

For those of you who don't know, Broadway Across America is the organization that brings us the touring Broadway shows of everything from "Wicked" to "Les Miserables" to "Legally Blonde."

We bought these tickets what seems like forever ago and last night we were finally able to experience our second show - "Young Frankenstein."

I've seen this Mel Brooks show on Broadway, starring the likes of Sutton Foster (my fav!), Roger Bart, Megan Mullally, so I wasn't quite sure if another company could win me over.  Especially considering I will see any show for Sutton Foster or Megan Mullally, but shows with jokes from a man missing a leg and an arm saying something cost him "an arm and a leg" just don't typically tickle my fancy.  Mel Brooks' style is so over-the-top with blatant puns and innuendos thrown in your face - subtlety is non-existent.  "Roll in the Hay," anyone?  I like a pun to be so clever you feel particularly clever yourself if you catch it.  Or just so so so ridiculously cheesy that you can't help but laugh at the person trying to make it funny.  Ends up the humor was more of the latter than I remembered. 

Melissa's favorite part of the show was the character Igor (eye-gore).  Which, consequently, leant itself to my favorite part of the show, which was listening to Melissa laughing at Igor:-)

Jon was dreaming the entire evening of someday playing Dr. Frankenstein - even choreographing his own tap number while we descended the stairs after the show.  The dance numbers in this show are big, impressive, entertaining, and involve real dance - from tap to ballet to my favorite type that is more of a gymnastics endeavor.  If you enjoy *big* Broadway production numbers, you'll enjoy this show.

Chris?  Well, I'm not sure what his favorite part was...the lady in front of us almost laying her head on his knee during the entire show, the couple on a date behind us, trying not to laugh at the innuendos, sitting next to me, or fantasizing about turning into "the monster" with accompanying deep love.

I think a highlight of the evening for all of us was being escorted backstage after the show.  Seeing all of the magic deconstructed back there - the costumes, the props, the sets, the make-up stations, the quick-change areas, standing in the wings...talk about being on the very cusp of your dreams!  Never, in a million years, did I imagine I'd be part of a circle of people so closely involved with an area of my life that has always fulfilled me more than any other.  I am blessed. 

Three of my biggest blessings? Melissa, Jon, and Chris - I love you all and thanks for another fantastic evening at the theater!