Monday, July 23, 2012

Online Dating Misrepresentations

I have had several of my friends lament to me about their online dating adventures.  I encourage all of them to find love however they need, yet have learned through several terrible experiences with men who online date that online dating will not be for me.  But that's a story for another time...and you will totally understand why I encourage everyone to do it, yet personally have some heart-breaking trust issues.

My real question today is this: Do you feel people misrepresent themselves, mainly physically?

Popular Daddy Blogger, Single Dad Laughing, had an experience where a lady misrepresented her weight drastically.  He wasn't turned off by her weight so much as the fact that he felt lied to and betrayed.  But there was no convincing her or most of his readers that the weight was not the reason for the rejection.

In almost all of the lamentations I have heard, there is some tale of how the young woman or man was significantly larger in person than in photos.  Why do people do this?  I would never want to be that girl that shows up and my date is immediately disappointed.  There are plenty of men out there who like their women with more to love and plenty of women who like teddy bear men.  Why must we lie?  There is a difference between putting your best foot forward and putting your non-existent foot forward.   And why go into a date knowing you will begin it with disappointment?  I just don't get it.

What do you all think?  Have you had any experiences like this?  Why do you think people do this?  


Unknown said...

People misrepresent because they think attraction is physical. But they are wrong! They couldn't be more WRONG!. Attraction is based on way more than physical appearance. Read more here

Janell said...

I think that intitial attraction is often physical. However, that attraction isn't the one that lasts, nor is it the one that makes or a breaks a dating scenario.

Shelli said...

People online are quick to dismiss anyone that doesn't look like "their type" or who they couldn't see themselves marrying based on a picture. So it makes sense that people misrepresent themselves in hoping to lure in someone to show them their other good qualities before they are judged based on weight, etc.

I do not know of these guys/girls that you speak of that like "more to love" folks.

I have had several experiences of my own, and I totally get what you are saying about feeling lied to or betrayed. Instead of weight being the issue, it was guys in wheelchairs. Three different guys! They post pictures pre-accident, or the cropped picture where you just see their face and they don't mention until much later that they are wheelchair bound...

Karen said...

I have a dating profile on one of those free sites. I'm not really actively doing anything with it right now, but I'm open to the possibility that someone might see it and message me, so I leave it up.

I am currently about 30 pounds heavier than the most current pic on there. Mostly because a medical condition (PCOS) that hit kinda suddenly and caused me to gain those 30 pounds in 4 months.

Am I mis-representing myself? Probably. Is it because I'm trying to lure men in with a physique I no longer posess? Not really.

I'm still trying to figure out how to get back down to where I was with the new hormonal craziness surging through my body. Because I don't look like the me I've known, the me I feel like, I don't really have pictures of me from the last 6 months or so. Thus, no updated pic.

Also, it's really hard to take a full-body shot with a cell-phone camera if you don't have a full-length mirror. I guess I could ask someone else to take a pic for me, but meh.

Anywhoo... That's my story.