Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ten First Date Blunders

I have had the following ten (and really, this is quite narrowed down) alarming occurrences on first dates:
  1. Revelation of time in jail.  Not once.  Not twice.  Three different men.  
  2. A three-hour talk in a cold car in January about how the young man is still crazy, head-over-heels in love with his ex...complete with tears.
  3. Told me he had kissed (or otherwise) so many girls he can't even begin to count and or recall their names....again, at least three different men have confessed these types of things.
  4. Told he was $10,000 in debt due to his Airsoft addiction.
  5. Told me about his dishonorable discharge from the military.
  6. Told me he'd been driving on a suspended license for over a year.
  7. Told me he'd just proposed to a girl and is waiting for her answer.
  8. Told me all about his less-than-one-month old divorce and everything that is wrong with him, whereupon he kept asking for affirmations that I did not think he was crazy.
  9. Talked at length regarding numerous government conspiracy theories.
  10. Told me he was feeling ill and that the only thing that would make him feel better is if I snuggled with him.  Smooth.  Not. Gonna. Happen. Did I mention he was wearing short shorts?
    What kind of odd things have you experienced on first dates?


      8 comments:

      Gingerstar.kw said...

      That is SOLID GOLD!!! LOVE it! Guess they didn't get second dates?

      miss kristen said...

      I once had a guy stalk me at a show I was doing. Well, TWO, actually.

      My favorite was the guy who asked me out, and didn't remember that we had worked together and he was a complete and total TOAD to me.

      Watching him try to back pedal his way out of not only forgetting that we had worked together for over a year (I was his supervisor) and then make lame excuses to validate his behavior was hilarious.

      Needless to say I used my 'back up plan' that night.

      Heather said...

      hahahahahahahaha!!!!! Seriously, all i can do is laugh! So much amazingness going on right now.

      -Heather from lifeofapasseri.blogspot.com

      Ru said...

      I've gotten the jail one. That same guy confessed to having never read a book except the Book of Mormon.

      I also had a guy ask me for my thoughts on the Iraq War, and when I said I didn't think politics were the best first-date topic, he insisted so I told him what I thought. (Including my thoughts on the use of privatized military contractors, which is what I was writing my seminar paper on for law school.) Then I asked him what he thought and he looked at his food and said, "I think we probably shouldn't discuss this."

      KHathaway said...

      Your epic stories are much more numerous than mine, hahaha! I really only have one. This guy told me about this 'spiritual' car journey he took back home to Chicago in which he got caught in a hurricane, got out of his car and got clipped by a trailer driving past. Then he told me he DIED. He said he knew he died because he remembered what it felt like from when he died before. For 8 minutes...... Then he told me about how he woke up in his car (after dying on the road...) with a police man knocking on his window. They searched his car because the license plate was expired and found an old blood covered rusty knife. I asked him to take me home....

      Larissa said...

      Holy snot! Katie, your date was INSANE!!!!!!

      I've never had to use my backup plan or talk about politics...maybe I should come up with a backup plan..hmm...

      miss kristen said...

      You don't have a girlfriend call you 30 minutes or so into a date to give you an out if you need it on an iffy first date?

      Talk to me tonight. I'll explain.

      Larissa said...

      Oh I know what the "out" is, I've just never agreed to a first date where I think I may need one.