I have felt judgmental for quite some time regarding my lack of attraction to overweight and/or non-physically active men. Judge me, that's fine. I am not attracted to men carrying additional poundage who are not doing anything to remedy the situation. But why? This has really bothered me and made me feel superficial and unwilling to "give someone a chance" as we are so often counseled.
I'm a big advocate of needing to be attracted to your significant other. Eventually, you will want to participate in some activities that, let's face it, require feelings more than, "He's such a great guy..." Yeah, you know. And do you want to be with someone who you know has had to learn to be attracted to you? No! You want someone who thinks you are a hottie Mchothot with a shake and fries!
My eyes have recently been opened to the answer to this woe and I feel a little less of, "Larissa, you are a horrible person." My mother, my uncle, and all of his children have struggled with obesity. Even my dad was overweight for a few years even though he is now one of the fittest, healthiest people you will ever encounter. My mother and uncle have both had no choice but to have a gastric bypass because their health issues were so severe and in such immediate need of remedy. I remember sitting on my bed in Ohio, sobbing as my father held me, telling him I didn't want my children to not know their grandmother just because she liked food. I have had my entire life to watch almost my entire family struggle with the unhealthy yo-yo diets and the effects of overweightness/obesity - I do not want that for my future.
Not only have I had to watch them, I have had to experience this struggle first-hand. I had a doctor tell me, straight up, "I am afraid for your body because of everything you do at your weight. Your body cannot handle this, you are going to hurt yourself." Tell me that wouldn't scare you straight.
If I see an overweight man, I take that to be indicative of his eating and activity habits - the same habits that have lead my family to so much heartache (figuratively and literally). I also see that being healthy is most likely going to be an uphill battle. I have battled so hard and for so long that I cannot willingly put myself with a catalyst for more struggle and the possibility of falling into old habits and destroying everything I've overcome.
I do not want that for myself. I do not want that for my future family. The man I end up with deserves more than to know I resent him because of his passion for food and lack thereof for physical activity. He deserves more than to know he is causing me mental and physical pain.
I honestly feel the costs outweigh the potential benefits. I feel the need to share because so many people have wondered how I could write people off even though I have myself been overweight in the past. So many people wonder how this kind of life change effects you outside of your diet/exercise regime. If I can see a clear, concerted effort and lasting results, I can convince myself to reconsider, but, friends, this is a mental block I cannot hurdle. I hope you understand.
I used to have eyes this deep, chocolate brown color. My mother used to tell me I'd have to eat a lot of chocolate to keep them that brown - no complaints here. I guess I didn't eat enough because the older I get, the lighter my eyes get. You used to get lost in chocolate bliss and now...I dunno...they're mutts...why does this happen? I found an answer, but I miss my chocolate peepers.
I know some amazing people who do some amazing things. One of these amazing young ladies gave my information to a friend of hers and, before I knew it, *poof* I was being invited to come on the radio to be part of "Win-a-date Wednesday" with KBER Rock 101.1."
Some of you may be thinking, "Larissa, you are so not the KBER kinda girl." Well, I actually have this as one of my car radio pre-sets and, well, their DJs are hilarious. Who would turn down a chance to see the inner workings of a radio station and meet Mick and Allen? Not me!
What is "Win-a-date Wednesday?" Basically, a gal comes in, they ask her questions about herself and then guys call in to be harassed interviewed to try to win a date with the lady. The lady is actually under no obligation to call any of the contestants, which is why I was okay with the whole scheme.
I went in and pretty much made a fool of myself. Which always makes for a better story. Who goes into a hard rock station and, when asked about yourself, says, "I perform on stage. Um. I mean, musical theater." Then they asked me to sing from "My Fair Lady." On a ROCK station. I respond, "Well that isn't exactly your target audience..." Then I sing for like 8 seconds anyway. Oy. I did get to plug my new show for a second, that's good news.
"What do you like in a man, Larissa?" Well, I like a man with a good head. On his shoulders. A good head on his shoulders!" Yeah, everyone got a laugh out of that one.
"What age range do you prefer? 26-35? And you are 30? Doesn't that make you a cougar?"
"Well, actually, I looked up the definition of "cougar" last night and it is a woman in her prime dating someone at least 15 years younger, so I'm safe. Not a cougar. I'd have to go to the high schools to qualify." Why? For the love! On public radio even!
When I wasn't busy embarrassing myself, I had a blast. Some of the highlights:
They told me I reminded them of Amy Adams from Enchanted - even my singing voice
After I left the station I was listening to them and they kept commenting on how tiny I am and calling me sweet, tiny Larissa. I love being tiny and sweet!
The men who called in were hilarious. Number one couldn't think of what natural disaster he would be and described himself as Robert Downey, Jr. Hmm...what era we talking here? Drug addict era? He actually seemed pretty sweet and said he wouldn't pick a natural disaster because they are all bad and cause destruction and he didn't want to be any of them. He said he's an outdoorsman who is into physical activity, etc.
The second man who called in was a softball player and an outdoorsy type who described himself as Brett Favre. Apparently dude 1 and dude 2 both had facial hair. Anyway, the hosts went nuts all over what part of him exactly resembled Brett Favre (kudos to those who get this reference). But when asked if he could take me anywhere in the world for breakfast lunch and dinner then where would he take me, he said he'd stay right here. Boo! I love to travel!
So who did I pick? Number two. Why? Well, he talked more. Number one sounded sweeter and more genuine, but I do not like the awkwardness that *might* come along with non-talkers. Neither of the guys were tops in creativeness, but I guess that's what I get for saying first that I liked athletic men.
The third man called in well after the segment time and begged the hosts to give me his number anyway because I would like him because he's a personal trainer. Nevermind the fact that he is 14 years older. So not into that.
They mentioned maybe doing a "flash mob" on the local "train to the North Pole" for the children in need come Christmas time. I would love to help work with them on this and they challenged me to do just that. Here's to hoping that comes to fruition.
So there you have it - my experience as a radio star for 30 minutes. Questions?
I'm sick of the fact that, after all this time, the first thing I think when something doesn't go right or someone looks at me funny is, "It must be because I'm too fat."
I was talking with someone at an audition and she mentioned how she thought I'd have been good in a certain part, then she said, "But that character has to be skinny." She then tripped over her words and tried to correct herself, but it was too late. The kicker? Said individual is at least 40 pounds heavier than me.
At the gym, twice in one week I had personal trainers approach me to see if I wanted a free session. Um? Do I look like I need a trainer? Is that what it is? Both of them looked shocked when they found out I had been going to the gym almost every day for over 6 years.
People all the time are not surprised to find out I was a gymnast because of my "gymnast legs." Exactly what is this supposed to mean? And why is it okay to say this?
A dear friend who I know meant nothing by this was listening to me whine about how I once dated a guy who told me to stop working out my legs because they were getting too big and then she said, "Well, your thighs are getting big..." The poor dear realized what she'd said and tried to recover by saying they weren't "big" but compared to the rest of me, proportionately, they are larger. Well, this is true...and I would rather have larger legs and a tiny waist, so it isn't all bad. No harm in speaking the bold truth - I'd rather have honesty:-)
I often walk by a mirror and think about how large I am. Then I look at someone else and think how tiny she is. Then I see myself next to the person and am shocked to see I'm not much bigger than her.
I suppose, like with any addict, this is a struggle I will face my whole life. I have to make sure I keep winning this battle. There was a time I would have screamed from the tops of the mountains to be where I am now. I need to work on maintaining that gratitude and joy for the beautiful body I have worked so hard for...that has worked so hard for me.
I'm just sick of my emotion always defaulting to, "It must be because I'm too fat."
I used to think I was a creature of the night, much like my raccoon friends. As a youngster, I'd feel this tingle of excitement all over as I would stay up until the wee hours of the morning curled up with a book, or watching one of our five television channels, or talking with friends, or laying on the trampoline looking at the stars and listening to the crickets chirp after the rest of the world had retired.
Even now, I go through occasional spurts where I feel this same energy - especially during the run of my shows or when I first meet a young feller who tickles my fancy.
However, I think the sun and my body made some sort of secret pact without me knowing. My mind thinks that if the sun is awake, my body needs to be awake. On the weekends I will wake up refreshed and stretching to bask in the sun's rays as I take a glance at the clock. What? Prior to 7am on the weekend?! Alas, it is the weekend and I can nap later if I need to - might as well get up and enjoy the daylight.
There is this precious time of the day when all the world starts to come to life. I now feel the energy and joy from being there to witness the awakening that I used to from ruling the night.
I still don't know if I would call myself a "morning person," but the more people I am around at early hours, the more I realize I'm probably one of those annoying folks about whom you think, "Why the #$&! are you so happy this early in the morning? Shut up. Go away." But I can't really call myself a night person because, even though I defy this feeling every so often, once 11pm hits my mind is off in never never land.
How 'bout you? Do you know if you are a morning or a night person? What are your prime indicators?
All of Salt Lake City is in an uproar over this tiny little group called U2 - heard of 'em?
The University of Utah is shutting down their entire campus at 2:30pm to accommodate for the concert at Rice-Eccles stadium. I heard radio interviews this morning with attendees who have camped out overnight in the 40-degree weather and rain. Utah's commuter rail is running extra trains tonight. My co-workers are all going crazy with excitement, most of them taking off time from work to get to the concert early or to come in late tomorrow morning. One of them is even calling the lunch she brought in, "The Bono Special." I have no idea what that would even mean.
The thing is, and many of you may blacklist me after this, but I don't care so much for U2. Sure, I enjoy their music, but, to me, it all starts sounding the same after awhile. And, have you seenSpider-man: Turn Off the Dark? Cause I have. And Bono was responsible for the music that, all critics will agree, is monotonous and unmemorable. I've been to a U2 concert. I commend the incredible performers and musical genius they entire group possess. I commend the energy the crowd emits. Yet, I don't care to ever attend another of their concerts. I'm more of a Bon Jovi girl I guess, cause I enjoyed myself much more at his concert.
For all of you attending tonight, great - have fun - it'll be a Beautiful Day. To me, they just aren't worth the money, the time, the frustration fighting traffic, the frustration fighting super fans, the PTO...
Not only did I have two friends tell me they could make it, but one of you went to the store to see if they had it, then one of you worked some kind of dress fairy magic and *poof* gifted me the dress on Saturday...refusing to let me pay you.
How blessed and lucky am I? I just may have the best friends in the world!
With deepest pride and greatest pleasure I announce this:
I am lucky enough to have earned the privilege to play for you the lead role of Natalie Haller / Ed in All Shook Up for Midvale Performing Arts Center! All of you who have been dying to see me play a man, your wildest dreams have just come true. Should be exciting for all of us:-) (don't get confused, this is a different company than Midvale Main Street that just finished their run of this same show)
I'm stoked. I saw the show on Broadway when it first opened. For those of you who don't know the plot, you basically have Shakespeare's Twelfth Night(or Amanda Bynes in "She's The Man") set to the tune of Elvis music...mmm...Elvis.
I love Elvis, I love the people I will be working with, I get to again pretend to be substantially younger than I am...who wouldn't love to come see me and an entire cast of people having the time of our lives?!
Mark your calendars - July 15-22!
Midvale Outdoor Stage in the Park
455 West 7500 South
Bring your blankets, chairs, and picnics!
I also just realized that I got another dream role of mine last year after auditioning for Seven Brides and working hard to earn a callback for the show - such fun dancing! Any theaters doing Seven Brides next year? Seems to be my good luck charm, although I am quite sad I keep missing the opportunity to perform with amazing theaters in that crazy show. I hope I get the chance in the future!
For those of you wondering, I get to sing these songs as solos, duets or small solos in company numbers: One Night With You, C'mon Everybody, Follow That Dream, Teddy Bear/Hound Dog, Love Me Tender, Blue Suede Shoes, Can't Help Falling in Love, A Little Less Conversation, Fools Fall in Love, and Burning Love.
I found myself smack dab in the center, 5th row orchestra, next to this delightful older gentleman from Australia. He takes a three week vacation each year to come to New York and see 21 productions. The guy was serious about his show-viewing and I had to put him to ease a little that I wasn't some crazy Harry Potter fangirl there to hoot and holler and drool over Radcliffe the whole show. I've been wanting to see How to... for at least fifteen years and know every word to every song. Now, the fact that the show stars John Larroquette (J.B. Biggley), Tammy Blanchard (Hedy La Rue), and Daniel Radcliffe are added perks to my experience, but I'd have seen the show regardless.
The Plot
The curtain lifts and a man dressed as a window washer starts descending from the ceiling whilst reading an instructional book, "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying." The lights brighten, we hear his voice, and then he flashes us a bright, shining smile - enter Daniel Radcliffe as J. Pierrepont Finch.
Basically, the title says all you need to know. A young man with lofty ambitions, an "eager beaver," manipulates and lucks his way to the top of the corporate ladder, all while trying to win over Rosemary (Rose Hemingway). How To... does not try to take itself seriously as far as the story, yet the characters within the story are delightfully real...at least we wish they were.
The Music
What can I say? Here you have your classic Broadway show with fun, not-too-serious music you can tap your toes to, sing along, and smile smile smile. I really don't feel I can be objective here because I have loved these songs for far too long, from Coffee break to Paris Original to Brotherhood of Man.
The Costumes Mad Men on color crack for the ladies and just straight up Mad Men for the men....well...with a little added flair in bright accents, such as Radcliffe's bow tie.
The Sets
Flashy and totally retro 1960s glam-office feel. We were all enamored with the office of J.B. Bigley on the "second floor" of the set. His entrance was an elevated, slide-out platform on the left of the stage. Sounds simple enough, but added that extra little flair. The way they worked the scenes in the "elevator" also tickled us. The only set at all I can remember thinking was a little sparse was during the song Coffee Break. Seriously though, you 100% felt the 1960s over-exaggerated office environment.
The Choreography
The best of the shows we saw! Even silly songs like Coffee Break were magical because of the staging, the lifts, the random body positioning...les sigh!
Is there anything out there that makes my heart flutter the way a handsome singing, dancing man does? How about almost twenty of them? Be still my heart. I could have watched Brotherhood of Man over and over and over. In fact, I may or may not have watched the video at least five times. Grande Old Ivy stole my heart as well - Larroquette and Radcliffe were both dripping with sweat by the end of the number, with more than good reason. See it, see it, see it!
The Actors/Actresses
Many of you out there may be speculating that Daniel Radcliffe got this role because he played Harry Potter, therefore bringing in that fan base to pay beaucoup bucks and make the show a success regardless of the quality.
I want to tell you - loudly, proudly, firmly - this is not the case. Can Radcliffe sing? Dance? Act? Yes, yes, YES! And all without a trace of his accent. Want confirmation? I can't say enough, the video at the end of this text from a Good Morning America performance speaks for itself. Keep in mind, even the video does not do the actual stage performance justice.
I will say that we all agreed you can tell Radcliffe is a screen actor because, through the first 2/3 of the show, his antics were not "larger than life." By the time Brotherhood of Man hit, however, you would never guess this man hadn't been on the Broadway stage his entire life.
I was just going to write, "You know who really stole the show?" But I can't, because they all stole the show in their own rights and at different times. If you had to pick one person to see this shoe for, that would have to be Larroquette. The man can knit - seriously! I honestly had no idea I was in for such a treat with him. If someone else wins the Tony award for which he was nominated, I will have to see that actor because I am fully convinced no one can top this.
Rose Hemingway, in her Broadway debut, was... well... perfect. When you know a show for years, you have pre-conceived notions of how everything should be, which can often lead you to being disgruntled with a perfectly splendid performance. Hemingway was everything you could want and more - darling, voice to kill, looks to kill, and capable of stealing that spotlight from Radcliffe at any moment (but finding a fine balance).
Tammy Blanchard as Hedy La Rue is the Joan Holloway of the stage. Va-va-voom!
I could so so much about so many of these actors and actresses, but, really, you just need to see them for yourselves.
My Biggest Downfall?
I have a few of things on my list here - only one in regards to the actual performance.
My Australian acquaintance pointed this out to me several times - the first act of the play was almost two hours. This my friends, is far too long for a first act. Not like I cared - they could have gone on all night and I would have stayed, but try to keep it to eighty minutes or less for those restless or elderly audience members.
Another - I never did believe that Finch actually loves Rosemary...but perhaps this is all part of the farce of the 1960s the script is intending. She's happy to keep his dinner warm and has security, he has arm candy and someone to wait on him.
The theater itself is also far too small in the lobby area. I tried to get to the restroom during intermission and, well, it took me five minutes to get out into the lobby upon which I was pushed into a wall and pinned there against some other ladies for another five minutes, trying to keep a large mirror from falling off the wall and onto the pushers. I couldn't even begin to see where a line formed because we were motionless sardines. I gave up and went back to my seat. Good thing, too, because Keri and Megan (one and two rows behind me, respectively) actually found the line and missed the first five minutes of the second act.
If your favorite Broadway show is Next to Normal, then this probably isn't the show for you. I love that show too, but what I'm saying is that if you are looking for something moving and educational, you are barking up the wrong tree here.
My Biggest Praise?
My brain is going into this tizzy of a tailspin trying to put into words all the fabulous things. You cannot see this show without finding your cheek muscles sore at the end because you have been grinning from ear to ear for three hours. You may even find your abs are extra firm from laughing. This is the kind of show that will leave you wanting to immediately jump on the stage and do your own song and dance number or twirl around light posts in the rain. The only word I can think of to describe it all is, "electric."
If this show doesn't win the Tony for Best Revival of a Musical, I will be thoroughly shocked. I recommend this show right up there with Jersey Boys and Wicked for those venturing to NYC for the first time.
I called my all-within-48-hours awkevents my "trifecta," but, alas, I realized I have a "fourfecta" on my hands for those 48 hours.
Ready?
I had arrived at the location of "drop it like it's hot," because of an invite to unwind from my stressful day in a soothing, steamy hot tub (me and three dudes). This was a new invitation for me, so I didn't really know where I was headed. I followed Jon through a dark hallway and into a dark room. He turned around and flashed this huge "this is going to be good" grin at me as he reached for the lights.
"Um, so this is the men's room. You probably don't want to go hot tubbing in here." Had I really just followed him right on in to the men's room? *He turns the lights on* You bet your bottom dollar!
