Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Who You Become

You become what you surround yourself with.  If you are constantly absorbed in video games or shopping or whatever it may be, that becomes more and more important to you while things as small as cleaning or as large as quality time with loved ones become less and less important. 

Now let's change that to, "You become who you surround yourself with."

Not only is this an enlightened principle, but you can see the truth verified in people every day.

I watched my little sister, at one point in her life, surround herself with people she was trying to help, people who needed her.  She did not need them, but she felt guilty withdrawing the life she knew she provided to them.  She is strong, vibrant, full of life and spirit, intelligent, the list goes on.  But for a time, she surrounded herself with people who were broken and she gave herself so fully to them that eventually she too was broken.   

There is a fine line between reaching out to those in need with unconditional love and showing that same unconditional love towards yourself.  Sometimes you have to do what is best for you.  Teach a man to fish and if he comes back to you whining about how hungry he is, that is something you have fully equipped him to solve on his own, you are no longer responsible.

So what is best for you?  Do you surround yourself with people who are givers or takers?  I've had some acquaintances in the past who appear to truly believe friendship is when someone goes out of their way to help me and pay attention to me without me giving any regards to the other individual's needs.  If you are not there the precise moment me needs you, you are not a worthy friend. 

One of the greatest treasures of friendship is understanding each others' priorities.  Sometimes, friends are numero uno.  Sometimes, unfortunately, friends are numero far-from-uno.  That's just the way the chips fall.  Life happens.  All of the friendships I have been able to maintain over the test of distance and time?  Those are the ones where you stopped mid-conversation ten years ago and pick up right where you left off when you reunite.  The ones where you can take Hawaiian vacations stuck in an airport together, not talk for two months, then explode with love for them at the mere mention of anything that reminds you of them.  The ones you see once per year at Christmas for three hours and laugh the entire time.  The ones who have light sparkling from their eyes and understand our priorities in life have changed, but our love for each other never, ever will.  There are no unspoken rules. 

I choose to surround myself with those who fill my life with enlightenment, energy, upliftment, spirituality, athleticism, musicality, service, love, laughter, motivation, and reciprocity.  I sacrifice for my friends daily because we fill part of each other.

I choose to dedicate myself to being more of that person this holiday season - more of the person people want to be around because I am someone they don't mind emulating.  And I will be around them because I sure as heck would like a little of their awesomeness to rub off on me.

1 comment:

S.R. Braddy said...

I'm starting to wonder if I haven't somehow surrounded myself with people who "take" from me when I should be trying to seek out those who will "accept" from me... if that distinction makes any sense at all.