Red Tights

Different colors of tights with great designs on them are pretty popular these days, right?  I've seen them on everyone from wee babes to grandma's.  There is a pair for everyone - cute, trendy, classy, and sassy.

Sunday, I decided to wear some red tights with a diamond pattern to church.  I also decided to run my fashion decision past my beau, and he said, "They are fine.  Just wear 'em and see."  I said, "Well, they are fun, but are they too fun for church?  I don't want anyone to think I'm a street walker just because they are red."  He stood by his decision that they were fine.

The rest of my ensemble was a pure black, sleeved, knee-length dress with a little red camisole underneath so as to not give a free show should I choose to bend over.  My hair was caressing my back with loose, wavy curls, and I had a dainty diamond necklace on. 

We arrived at church a little late, so decided to sit in the foyer until the sacrament had been passed.  I excused myself to the restroom quickly and quietly.  I returned to find my beau looking forlorn and shaking his head in discontent.

"The guy who was just sitting on the couch next to me was staring at you with the most disapproving look on his face the entire time you walked away.  I stared at him, as he stared at you, and finally he noticed out of the corner of his eye and said, 'Yes?'  I said in an even but stern voice that was inviting him to have a conversation, 'You have a disapproving look on your face.'  He got up, didn't say a word, and walked away."

I responded, "Well, I guess that's my answer - these tights are too fun for church.  I'm taking them off."  Within 10 seconds I'd found an empty room, slid them off, and was seated next to him with my naked legs.

We've had a lot of conversation since then, but mostly both of us are disconcerted by the judgement.  Did he know he was looking at one of the most innocent 32-year old's out there?  Did he know I am a mega-virgin who would never seduce a man save for my future husband?  Did he know I'd have profusely apologized if I'd offended him in any way?  Or am I the one being judgy because I think he was being judgy?  I guess we'll never know since he clearly did not want to have a conversation.

Foot Panties

Foot Panties.  Does this make anyone cringe as much as it does me?

I'm seriously sitting here with my nose still wrinkled up and no comprehension as to why on earth you would willingly insert the name "panty" into a product for your foot.  If you watch the video, you can somewhat comprehend the purpose, but...seriously?!

Bonobos Khakis

If any men out there are looking for the most amazing Khaki's ever (if you lost your butt, you will find it in these), I highly recommend Bonobos.  I bought a pair for my handsome devil for his birthday and I now firmly believe every man should have a pair (of pants, get your minds out of the gutter).

They have an unbeatable return/exchange policy, free shipping, and you can use this link to get $25 off! Just copy/paste it into your web browser and select "apply."  You are welcome:-)

http://bono.bs/x/oI9XU
http://bono.bs/x/4pwdB

Photo courtesy of bonobos.com

Bras at the Gym

I don't care who you are.

I don't care how flat-chested you are.

I don't care how perky and fake your boobs are.

If you are at the gym, wear a bra.  Preferably of the sports variety, but any kind will do. 

Flashing headlights are for cars, not for public spectacle of your chesticles.

Men's Two-Toned Dress Shirts

There was a hot trend a couple of years ago that I could not stand - men's two-toned shirts where the collar and the cuffs were different colors than the rest of the shirt.

You can still see these shirts around, but not nearly as rampant as they were, thank heavens.  I really can't figure out why I don' like them, as any dress shirt is quite nice in comparison to, let's say, a t-shirt, but I think I'd almost prefer a t-shirt.    

Random, I know.  I rediscovered my displeasure with these in Las Vegas this past week when I maybe got a little too passionate about my dislike.

Fashion Trends: Colored Jeans

I cannot, for the life of me, pull off colored jeans.

Look at them!  Aren't they cute?

Alas, we've all seen the "People of Walmart" trying to pull them off - emphasis on trying because it definitely ain't happenin.'  They emphasize dimples (not the cute ones) and make short/muscular legs look even bulkier.

And as much as I love them on other people, I can't help but think they are one of those trends that we will look back on in twenty years and think, "What on earth were we thinking?  Who let us wear those?!"

What do you guys think?

Fashion Trends: Leggings

I know some of you out there probably love the crop-leggings.  I will admit, I've seen one of you wearing them and you look fantastic.

But generally speaking?

I hate them.

I feel as if they chop legs off half-way down.  And isn't the point of  fashion to make the legs appear as long and svelte as possible? 

My biggest beef has been that, in the LDS culture, a lot of girls wear them to pull off wearing skirts that are not of "modest" length instead of wearing them because they are the right style for the look they are trying to pull off.  This can be a little tacky and unflattering in my opinion...it's like those girls who buy the strapless dresses and just wear t-shirts under everything.  Umm...darling, that doesn't look good - have you ever heard of a cardigan?  Anyway. 

Leave it to the short girl to be overly-sensitive to any leg-chopping fashion...I gotta elongate where I can!

I Don't Wear Pants

I don't prefer pants...unless they are for Gym or pajamas.

I prefer to wear dresses.  Not just dresses, but really cute and girly dresses, much like unto Zooey or Dianna. 

Last weekend I was roughing it - knowing I was going to be in a backyard for a BBQ most of the evening - in jeans and a hoodie.  One of the young men may or may not have thought it extremely hilarious to attempt to wedgie-fy me.  Yep, people still try this at 32. 

I yipped, jumped, and screamed, "SEE!  This is why I never wear pants!"

That went over well...

I even wear dresses at the fair while playing with goats