Botched Proposal

I was dating a wonderful young man for awhile. We met playing co-ed softball this summer and things were swinging right along. Let's just say, we felt we had both hit a home-run in the bottom of the ninth with no men on and only one run to score to win the game....aka...we were pretty darned satisfied.

He happens to be from Ohio (I know, weird) and was going to be home over Labor Day for his brother's reception. I hadn't been home awhile myself, so decided I'd go home for that weekend myself. He came to my house for a day, then we headed up to his place in northeast Ohio - stopping to visit Grandma along the way.

Upon returning to Provo, reality hit a little hard. I realized I would have no job, which meant I could go anywhere to find a new job, but I had this amazing young man. Very quickly I felt I needed to decide how serious our relationship was going to be.

On my birthday (September 20), he decided to propose. He planned an adorable scavenger hunt, at the end of which I realized he was going to propose. At the final location, he was waiting for me in a Tuxedo at the intramural fields where we had met. I realized at that moment I was not prepared to be engaged to him. When he asked me to open the final bag, I was reluctant for awhile, then asked, "There is nothing life changing in that bag is there?" He said, "Not in the bag........not tonight, huh?"

Soon after, I went home to Ohio for 3 weeks. I can tell you a million wonderful things about him. I have nothing but love and respect in my heart for him, but I came to know that I was not to marry him.
How can you continue a relationship when you know someone is ready to marry you that moment and you know you are never going to? Or someone who is headed that direction and you never will be?

About four days after my return to Utah (Sunday October 28), he knew something was different and we had a heart-to-heart. There were only momentary tears and the relationship was over. I do miss him, but I do know this is what is best. Ironically, I was sick all that night throwing up, leaving me in bed all the next day watching old edited horror movies (yeah for Halloween time on TV). Maybe it was a blessing...