Saturday, January 5, 2008

Embarassing Moments

People often converse about most embarrassing moments. I've pulled some doozies out of a few of you. If only those doozies were the double-doozie cookies they sell at the Great American Cookie Company. Then I'd be laughing with a sugar high!

When I was thinking of my traumatic mistakes, I kept thinking of traumatic moments I have had of the embarrassing nature and figured you'd all get a kick laughing about them.

What are some of your most embarrassing experiences?

1. Coming home from a date with a very dear friend and very upstanding church guy to find my roommates had hung my stuffed animals by their necks in front of the door and vaselined the doorknob. When my date entered to wash his hands, I saw every single pair of underwear I own hanging all over the apartment. My sister worked for Victoria's Secret at the time, so we are talking a LOT. The guy asked, "Hey Riss, can I use this towel? Oh wait...that's not a towel!" To top it off, they placed my brassiere's in the freezer. I removed one to wear the next day at church and kept smelling this awful stench of frozen fish during choir. I kept asking people if they smelled anything until I realized it was ME!

2. Don't try to do an aerial on a wet football field at half time. Trust me, you will land on your head. In front of a couple thousand people.

3. I will NEVER forget calling my mom bawling when my blessing of being a woman first came to me and begging her not to tell anyone. She had a meeting with several ladies at our home that evening and of course each woman congratulated me on "being a woman" as she left. I don't recall many moments in my life I have ever been more mortified - by the fact of what was happening to me and by the fact that my mom would actually tell my secret!

4. Wearing a leotard of multi-colored velvet for a baton competition, where a patch of red happened to be located in a very strategic spot. One of the judges had my coach pull me aside after I competed and tell me I needed to change my outfit. I then had to go back out and compete again. No one believed me when I told them the velvet there was red. SO embarrassing!

5. I was in third grade, so that makes me.....eight-ish? I was ill (digestive rebellion of the intestinal kind), but wanted to jump rope with my friends at recess. Not a good idea. Use your imagination. This is the first time I have revealed this one to ANYONE.

6. This one is dedicated to my new friend's Jeremy and Joey who showed up on my doorstep Saturday night January 5. In 2001 I pranked Joey after he showed up on our doorstep trying to sell something. I continued the e-mail prank for 5 years, the poor distraught fellow - I'm sure the only reason he is still single is the constant wondering about this mystery woman. Joey and I have a mutual friend on Facebook and a little stalking on his part later - bam, my front porch. He talked Jeremy into coming along....little did Jeremy know he had been on a blind date with me the year before! It isn't really TOO embarrassing, but ironic and weird and talk about having one master prank fly back at you! The embarrassing part came with an attempt at a "nose flute." This is not a real instrument and should never be played. Nose's should not make noise.

7. I was with a group of people announcing a male friend's birthday party Sunday January 6 and heard a question. In response to this question I said, "Are you going to be in it?" People looked confused then told me she had asked, "Is there going to be a theme?" I said aloud, "OH! I thought she asked if there is going to be a cake!" Of course, the room erupted in laughter (think about it.) For some reason, when I meant this to be scandalous I wasn't embarrassed, but upon finding out I had misheard and then tattled on myself, I was embarrassed.

8. When I was looking for my first job, I had two interviews scheduled back-to-back. I showed up in one place to realize I had reversed the interview times. I figured I had blown both positions, so went to the interviews - one late and one twice - for practice. I ended up getting the job I showed up at twice. Guess they figured I was dedicated!

9. I was singing "Part of your World" from Little Mermaid at the top of my ten year old lungs in the shower. What better place for the Little Mermaid if you don't have close access to a beach, right? Upon exiting the bathroom, I saw my mom, dad, sisters, and several of their friends all standing there applauding my performance. I was so bamboozled/humiliated that even today I have to be having a very, very brave day to even think about singing in the shower.

10. I was sitting on a wooden chair talking with a roommate and a young man. I was still somewhat lactose intolerant at that point, as well as addicted to ice cream and cheese pizza. Lethal. We erupted in laughter at some silly comment. Too bad laughter wasn't the only noise of eruption. Let's just say that wood chairs reverberate acoustics better than I ever could have imagined.

3 comments:

Erika Childs said...

I am impressed with your confidence in sharing these moments with the world. I am also slightly jealous (emphasis on "slightly") that you have such a large list of options when asked the cliche embarassing moment get-to-know you question.

jeff said...

So I'm guessing you've forgiven your mom, since now theoretically the ENTIRE WORLD knows that you have become a woman...

Regardless of what you were wearing, the fact that you were in baton competitions should be #1 on this list...

(I kid because I love.)

A few years ago I had a similar e-mail prank played on me. At the time you were on my list of suspects, and it seems like I questioned you about it and you denied, but maybe that part never happened...so, were you May B.?

bec said...

see blog archive March 2006:
Most Embarrassing Moment of My Life