6th Annual A Christmas Story Pajama Party

It's that time of year when my little world of friends gather together to view A Christmas Story in their pajamas.

Every year I throw this party and bake treats galore in lieu of gifts (for most).  There are always plenty of treats to take home after, although most people gorge themselves so much they run screaming the second I say, "If you want to take anything home..."

This year's party was fantastic, back to our home theater venue at Dallas's (Shout out to the most fantastic co-host!).  Many, many people I love, whom I haven't seen in quite some time, appeared through the front door and spread smiles across our faces and hearts.  I was also missing quite a few (you know who you are, so I won't shame you by calling you out), but the hustle and bustle of this time of year gets the better of us.  Blessings abound that as many were able to make it as did - even one from Vegas!  The icing on the cake for me was having my partner-in-crime, his family, and his best friend there - imagine the legacy that will live on as the 3- and 5-year old's create their own A Christmas Story traditions.

I forgot to take photos until the last thirty minutes of the event, so the food is just the carnage of leftovers and more than three-quarters of the attendees didn't get their mugshot. C'est la vie.  This year's menu was more low-key than in the past, but still all homemade and the piggies showed me how they ate: Oreos, M&M cookies, Chocolate Chip cookies, Chocolate mint cookies, Reese's cupcake cookies, Ohhh Fuuuuudge, and Snickerdoodles.     

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Russ McBride

I don't know where to begin.

Russ McBride entered my life almost two years ago exactly.  And what a thundering entrance.  My cast of 1940s Radio Hour had just completed our performance and were letting people "run the gauntlet" (where you have to walk past all the cast members to get out) as they exited the theater.  Russ had come with his son, Nik, and kept gushing to us about how much he enjoyed the show - so much, in fact, he promised to return if we checked out his improv group, "Quick Wits." 

I recall those snowy December evenings with warmth and love.  My cast ventured over to Midvale Main Street Theater several times to laugh, eat junk food, and enjoy each other.  Russ pulled me onto stage as his wife for the newlywed game my first time at Quick Wits and boy was it a hoot playing his white trash babe.  He told me he knew we'd be good friends after he first asked me, regarding our upcoming sketch, "Alright so what do you want to do?" I smiled coyly at him and winked as I said, "You."  Then I laughed myself silly because I have no seriousness behind what I say, I just think it is funny.  I'm glad he did too because friends we became.  Dear friends.

This weekend, we lost Russ to a massive, unexpected stroke.  I lost a constant support, a friend, and a source of more laughs than I can count.  Yet, the memories I have are priceless and will be with me forever.

Here are a few stories:

- I was down and out about my relationship choices, so I posed a question on my blog about what type of man you would see me with.  Russ responded with this: This is such a great question...How many of us have heard "I never would have seen you two together in a million years...."..there are so many factors that play into the final decision of a significant other..with that being said I truly feel that no matter what "type" fits you, there are some qualities that I feel you ultimately deserve (sappy moment alert)..granted I have not spent enough quality time to get an accurate account of your type..but you are so well rounded that I can only assume so many types fit your personality...someone that can make you laugh, not just few moments of LOLs but even just the times when a past moment brings a chuckle or a giggle or even a slight grin, I loved the comment of " but is no wallflower himself (as in, he'll join in conversations you're having even if he doesn't know the people well or at all)", you seem to have the ability to be the life of the party without having to know ANYONE at the party and you don't want to have to babysit or make sure he is having a good time, you want to interact with everyone..someone who enjoys the arts but at the very least will support you in them..someone whose knees get weak and breath becomes short because you simply walked into the room, even 60 years later...someone who becomes stronger and better because you are beside them...when all dates are filled with the excitement and giddiness of a first date, whether going to the ballet or sitting home watching a dvd...when there is no reason needed to get you chocolates, flowers, a card or even a little toy out of the .25 cent machine...someone to, at the very least, OFFER to help cook and clean...Wow this is very sappy, I could go on and on...I don't think any of this actually even answered the question. You have so many different types that you have dated cause you are that rare person that truly cares for everyone.   

- I blogged about wanting a certain dress.   Within a week, I received a message from Russ, "I have that dress for you."  The story is here.  Of course, he told me he had some connection and got the dress inexpensively and would not let me pay him back.  Two other times I asked if his connection could help me get some spendy dresses I wanted and both times he said, "Absolutely."  Upon asking him how much I owed him, he would never let me pay him back.  I asked him over and over, but he would never let me.  One time, my friend loved one of the dresses as much as I do, and he got one for her too!

- I had mentioned something to him about how I used to make Easter baskets for all my roommates and how, now that I live alone, I made my own basket and had no one else to give one too.  And you know what?  I went to Quick Wits one night and they said, "We have something for you!"  It was a huge Easter basket!  From Russ!

- I was auditioning for a lot of shows and doubting if I deserved a lead or even a part at all.  He had seen me perform several times and spent a late evening after Quick Wits talking with me outside into the wee hours - about performing, life, and just anything that came up to help me with perspective.  When I got the leading role in a show, he bought me a ticket to another theater company who was doing the show so I could see what I was getting myself into. 

-Opening night of my show, with my first lead lead, I received a gift at intermission.  "Someone brought these and asked us to give them to you."  I read the card.  Russ.  Two dozen roses.  He couldn't stay for the show, but wanted me to know how much I deserved this moment. 

- I got stranded at a rest stop near Brigham City.  As soon as I posted it, Russ was on the phone asking what he could do to help and if he needed to come rescue me.  Some friends near me responded and came to my aid just as he was leaving his house, so I called to tell him he didn't need to come.

- My mom came into town and I took her to Quick Wits.  Russ went out of his way to come talk to us for the entire intermission.  As he had done the year prior when my sister and her friends came into town.  He made a huge impression on all of them and, even after only fifteen minutes, they'd all regularly ask how that nice, funny guy from improv was doing.

- Last Saturday November 24 he performed with Quick Wits - he may have been planning on performing anyway, but I had texted him several times begging him to be there because my sissy likes him most and she was in town from Ohio with her new hubby.  Once he told me he'd be there, I invited several more friends out.  That evening, we talked and he told me he almost didn't make it but was glad he did and glad he got to see us. 

- He supported many of my friends in many of their shows and even met a group of us to support Megan in Beauty and Nichole in Annie Get Your Gun. 

- Most importantly, Russ's constant support and words of kindness helped me, along with the support of a handful of others, avoid marrying the wrong man.  He literally helped change my life. 

- We would e-mail all the time for about a year.  This communication dissipated after I started dating my Rob, a Quick Wits teammate.  I'm not sure if Russ felt I no longer needed him, if life got busy, or a multitude of other reasons.  He was always there with his words to give me a boost.  I tried to do the same for him, he was just so much better at it. 

    Some of the inspiring/funny/random thoughts he shared with me are below, all exactly his words from e-mails:

• Nik came into my life when I needed him more than he needed me...it is amazing how often that happens...I try to look at things in life that make the days better...and if you look it always seems that people or things come into our lives right at the perfect time...they also leave the same way...sometimes it is the person that shows up right when you needed someone to just understand and listen, or the person that gives you the boost you needed.
• I sat and watched the final hours of sun...my favorite time of day is that moment when the world is settling down, usually about 630-8 where the kids are being called in for dinner and baths, the traffic has subsided, even the animals are beginning to be done for the night...it is just a peaceful, peaceful time. I am very lucky Nik likes improv shows..he goes through so much always just sitting there waiting for dad to finish what he does...but it has been such a blessing for me...he even started his own "troupe" at his school and had a talent show with it..Yes, dad was beaming..we have sooooooo much fun together and it is incredible to see him WANT to do the things I take such an interest in. It is funny, my entire life has been athletics, fitness, sports not until I was out of college that I got into acting and improv...people would ask me in high school "What if your son isn't into fitness or sports?" and I would always respond "I will support him in whatever he wants to do, even if its acting.." Now I just sit and watch him excel at it all...*proud daddy moment*.
• My family and I are very close, we all support one another in pretty much everything
• My favorite times at the shows are when we banter back and forth...good times.
• I actually have a phobia of haircuts (I think my ear got clipped when I was a kid) but it isn't about getting my ear clipped or anything like that...I fear a bad haircut (maybe it was the bad haircuts a s a kid growing up to save money)..I have walked up to a saloon and honestly found the most mundane excuse to walk away and change my appointment...weird fact about Russ.
• I don't want to just be good. I want to be the part that actors pattern after or directors try to steal...in Improv I want other actors to say "I patterned how I did this game or this character after Russ..."
• Just want to say again how great you did on closing night.  Great job....I am sure your parents were not only impressed with their daughters talents, but were beaming with pride..:)
• When one hurts it is tough to be on the outside looking in and not being able to fix it or shield that pain from you. I am sorry that it hurt that deeply. But know that I am here....whether it is to hear about the same thing over and over or if it is a simple hi or if its a "I need to get out of here and you need to take me..." 
•  You are truly one of the most incredible people I know...from physical appearance to personality to talent to spirituality to your heart...the list goes on and on and on...I have said it before, quit stepping over dollars to pick up quarters.
•  Riss, I don't need to tell you what you mean to so many people out there...I don't need to tell you all the qualities you have....I don't need to tell you that anytime you turn around and need me I am there.  You are an amazing woman. One that a man with the sense of a billy goat would be eternally grateful to even just have gotten to meet you. You embody (where is my mind :)) everything that one would look for in a relationship...be it romantic or friendship.
• Riss, there is not many out there that I can think of that I would cast above you, of course we all have our strengths, but there is something to be said about an actor/actress that is quite literally LOVED by everyone. Do you think that I was just giving you a line when I told you you light up the room? It is soooooo true that you do..and you light up the stage as well. And at the end of the day, if you had a blast and truly enjoyed what you just did, then don't second guess yourself. I can see you on the "Big" stage one day, if that is what you want. Never would I doubt that you can get there. You are an amazing person in so many ways.
• My heart dearly aches for you when you are hurting or sad (is that they same thing?). But again, do know that I truly hold you as one of the most remarkable people that I have EVER known. My world literally lights up with even just an email....I want to slap the men that have been in your life and just say "Do you realize what a TRUE man would give to be with a Larissa???? Are you really that stupid, self absorbed and blind that you can't see the forest through the trees??? You hit the female lottery and you blew the WHOLE THING!!!!"
• I flirt because it is in my nature to flirt....but I also understand the importance of a kind word and the impact that just a little attention can give to someone. If by me simply smiling and telling someone how they have brightened my day translates into them taking a little extra care of themselves or giving them a smile that passes to the next person, then how could that be a bad thing? And if they "spruce" up just a little bit more because they know I will be there or that I might see them at the show or something, then that confidence translates into EVERYTHING they end up doing for the entire day and night. It is even a bit selfish cause it makes me feel good to see people improve themselves.
• Thank you for your kind words about Nik...I fear (actually look forward to) the day I fall for a woman that I come to adore as much as that little boy...they will have control of the world and me:)
• I haven't set the bar high at all for Nik. I will spoil him for the day (ok weekend) but he knows that stuff is just that, stuff...I have instilled a big sense of charity into his life that he has never taken things for granted..and what amazes me about him, is he recognizes, at this early age, how hard I am willing to work for him and others that I love..he appreciates it and never takes advantage of it..but I can't help but want to give him everything and show him off to the world. He is so incredible and has made me not only be but want to be a better man daily. It is amazing how much and how many things he has changed in my life...

I haven't lost anyone close to me in a good, long while.  Life is delicate, fragile, and fleeting.  I despise the "He is in a better place now"-esque comments.  I know, I get it.  But right now?  Right now, I miss his presence.  Right now, I keep expecting to see him walk around the corner flipping his water bottle and coyly smiling saying it was all a joke.  Right now, I wish I could hear him talk about his amazing son one more time.  Or give me a huge hug.  Or send me a message just to say hi like he so often did.  Right now, I have a hard time comprehending all of those things will never happen again.  Right now, I am eternally grateful for this man who touched my life and changed my course.  Russ had a way of making everyone around him feel like a million bucks.

We love you, Russ. 

His viewing will be Monday, December 10th from 6-8pm at Myers in Roy 5865 s 1900 w in Roy. The funeral is Tuesday, December 11th at 11am (viewing that day from 10-10:45) at the Chateau Park church (formerly 3rd, 8th, 23rd wards) building. 5930 s 2200 w in Roy.

 

 

The flowers Russ got me for opening night

We Don't Know What's Going On

"We don't know what's going on in your life anymore."

Megs and Jules informed me of this last Friday night when Rob (fighting the urge to call him Robalicious, fighting the urge...) and I visited them at Megan's house.

I launched into some spiel about how I don't know, when another person is involved in my day-to-day life, how much of that can be considered "public" and how much can be considered "private."  So, I'll share the big stuff so you have a little morsel.

1. My sissy Britty and her new husband Matt came to town to visit me for Thanksgiving!  Lots of great adventures - watching the Macy's parade, the on fire fountains at City Creek, the funicular at the St. Regis, Christmas lights in downtown SLC, Quick Wits, game nights with old friends, IMAX Skyfall, two new pairs of boots for $35 total at midnight (These and two pairs of gym pants were my total black Friday haul) and pure exhaustion.

2. I experienced my first Ferre family Thanksgiving - complete with Christmas singing afterwards!  And my first Smyth-family Pie Night on Thanksgiving Eve.

3. Rob is coming to Ohio for Christmas adventures, complete with a visit to the A Christmas Story house!

4. I have been asked by my wonderful director of ole, Wendy Dahl-Smedshammer, to reprise my role as Sister Mary Leo in Nunsense in March.

I think that's it in big news for now - love you all!

LEATHERBY'S!

Britty and Matt helped me decorate for Christmas and I awarded Brit the "star on top" privileges

Christmas Tree in the LDS Conference Center

Scheel's - this totally ridiculous sporting goods store

Ferre family Thanksgiving

Cafe Rio with Rob's amazing friends from Orlando days of yore

Pie Night at Megan Smyth's

Ferre Family Thanksgiving

Cantina - my fav Mexican place!

32

Folks, this is my first post as a 32-year old.   

What's that?  You want to know all about my birthday?  Well since you asked nicely...

Last week was a collision of fun times - an elegant dinner out at Paris Bistro with my handsome fellow's family, a Yelp event at Rice Fusion Cuisine and Sushi Bar, and 9 to 5 the Musical at Hale Centre Theatre.

Then came my birthday.  This year I had taken note of all of the crazy amounts of events happening around my birthday and had decided I would just play it cool and spend the evening with Rob (yeah, handsome fellow I keep alluding to has a name - who knew?) instead of making myself another chore on everyone's to-do list.  My friends had a different idea.

I arrived at my 1/2 day of work to decorations, my favorite co-worker produced baked goods - caramel brownies, and a Nordstrom gift card.  Everyone was so kind and sweet in spite of the extreme work-stress we've been under recently. 

After work, my next agenda item was a 5-mile run at the gym.  Some of you may think this is rather odd, especially because my legs are about two inches long and I am not, I repeat not, a runner.  But this is a benchmark run for me each year because I don't think I can get too far off the fitness path if I can run five miles in under 50 minutes at least once each year.  I was a little further along in my training for the run this year and managed to beat last year's time of 43:25, running my five miles in only 41:45!!!  I was so proud of myself and exhausted.

I didn't let the exhaustion wear me down too much because Rob (have I mentioned he is the best?) booked a 90-minute massage for me.  You heard me.  I've never had a real, professional massage before and had no idea the ecstasy I was in for.  I had no idea 90-minutes could pass so quickly or that my mind could be so empty.  Imagine my surprise as I stumbled out of the massage room in my semi-coherent state to hear, "You have a delivery."  Rob had dropped off flowers for me at the front desk!  I must have lit up like the sun as the therapists exclaimed various renditions of, "You have the best boyfriend ever!"

Upon arriving home, I cleaned up a bit, took a little power nap, and made myself pretty for the evening, which would first involve heading to a DJ meeting with Rob for his 45-minute presentation.  Before you think that is also a weird thing, I thought nothing of it - I love knowing what is going on and helping out where I can with his business and I also think it is nice to do something sweet for him after he had spent the whole day making sure I was spoiled.  Little did I know the spoiling wasn't over.

We left the meeting after his presentation and after I asked where we were headed he said, "Well, I forgot my wallet at your house."
"I have money.  You can pay me back, I don't care."
"It's your birthday.  I would feel better if I paid.  What do you want to eat?"
He clearly knows talk of food will divert my attentions more quickly than anything. 

As fishy as this wallet debacle was, I clearly had not suspected anything up until that moment or I would have made sure to eat before I'd left home.

I walked around the corner into my condo to this gloriously unusual non-happy birthday song:


I may be acting entirely silly in that video, but I was brimming so fully of love that it almost spilled out my eyes if you know what I mean.  I could not believe it.  I love all of my friends so much and to know this many people were able to sacrifice the precious little time we all have just to come and wish me a happy birthday (which is always weird because it isn't like I actually did anything to be born), is overwhelming.  What an amazing sight.

Apparently Melissa and Rob had been planning this soiree for weeks.  Good one Guys, good one.  The guests came and went over the next four hours, each new face causing me to squeal with joy.  If any of the guests are deaf now, my deepest apologies.  My day and my heart were full beyond what I ever could have hoped for or done for myself.

And if all of that wasn't enough, the next morning Rob dropped by my office to meet all of my co-workers and wish me Happy Birthday yet again.

Not to sound cheesy or cliche, but my life is richly, fully, explodingly blessed.  Thank you all for being on this journey with me and so selflessly giving me your love every day.  Here's to the next 32!!!

My Fella and Me, 1950s high-school style for Yelp's back-to-school event

The flowers Rob delivered while I had a 90-minute massage

Shayla knows I don't like cake, so she and Laci made this amazing Rice Crispy Treat peanut butter cup/pretzel concoction for me!

Amy, me, Melissa - the last ladies of round 1 at the surprise party

Me, Chris, Megan, the true last guests to the party

The man of the hour and just about the best man that ever there was

Aloof Adorable Amy, me-clearly-not-ready-for-a-photo-and-rather-skeptical-about-something, and Hottie Keri working it - love these beautiful, energetic, glowing women!

Do Unto Others As You Would Do To Yourself

Have you ever thought how terrible the world would be if you treated other people the way you treat yourself?  If we said the things to others that we say to ourselves?

We need to stop.

I recently had a friend ask me how I overcame some personal demons and kept my self-esteem on the up-and-up.  I shared with her that I am constantly reminding myself of all of my accomplishments, no matter how big or small.  Every time I complete a workout at the gym, I congratulate myself on the way out the door.  Every time I get through an especially long day of work, I head to my car rejoicing in my head, "I did it!  I made it!"  Every time I help a person in need, I think, "I did something good."  Even when I "fail," I remind myself how awesome it is that I tried. 

But how many times to you find yourself thinking, "I look fat.  I am stupid.  I shouldn't be allowed to speak in public because of the idiotic word vomit that spews forth.  I will never be a success.  I am failing at everything I do.  Other people my age are far better off than me.  My parents would not be happy with me.  What is the point?"  

Would you tolerate anyone saying those things to your friends?  What about someone saying those things to your face?  No.  No you would not tolerate it.  Why then is it okay to treat yourself this way? 

We have often heard "Love thy neighbor as thyself."  The key is to "Love...thyself."  Try it out.  Try defending and uplifting yourself as you would defend and uplift those you love. Just like any relationship, some parts will be a struggle, but exponentially rewarding in the end.

People I love at my bday party in 2010

What Makes a Best Friend?

I was on the way home last night, listening to some wee-hours-of-the-morning bizarro radio program.

This woman called in and was talking about her best friend, who was a male and whom she had had relations with while he had a girlfriend, but then he cheated on both of them and lead three women on/manipulated them for 7 months before sitting all three of them down together and picking one.  I suppose this was the Jerry Springer of radio? 

The host asked her, "What made him your best friend?" 

Her response, "He knew everything about me."


I don't need to tell all of you what you already know, but the host then lambasted her with a piece of reality about how a best friend would not treat you that way.

My mind got to wondering, "Why did this woman think this awful man was her best friend?"

So many people think that the proverbial magical wand of "they know everything about me" waves and *presto* the title of best friends is bestowed. 

Knowledge about intimate details of your life does not a best friend make. 

Too many people crave companionship to a detrimental extent.  Too many people willingly divulge their deepest secrets, emotions, and life details to anyone who is willing to listen.  But does the listener even care or want to know this information?  Is the listener worthy of your trust simply because they listen?  I hate to say this, but I think some folks all-too-willingly get trapped in bad situations because they give and let others take.

Real best friends are reciprocal.  Real best friends may not necessarily know everything about each other as far as details go, but know everything about each others' hearts. 

There is not a soul on this planet who knows everything about me, but I can gaurantee there are many people who know me.  They know how I will treat people, how I will react, why I am who I am, what makes me smile...you get the point.  Never once have I looked at one of my best friends and thought, "I can't believe they did that to me."

Choose your friends to keep you emotionally healthy the same way you choose your fitness and diet regime to keep you physically healthy.  Don't waste time on the Cheetos that may make you feel good for a moment.  Hold out for the enriching, wholesome things that will make you better in the long run.  Just like the gym with your physical health, you have to stretch yourself and push yourself to the very edge of comfort and sanity...but it is always, always worth it.  Be patient.  You will find those who love you and they will change you for good forever. 

Blithe Spirit: The Empress Theatre

My friends have come to observe that if I do not generally enjoy a show, I won't generally write about said show.  The thing is, sometimes I become a little overwhelmed with professional and personal things and my brain simply does not have enough juice to compile my thoughts in a coherent fashion.  The longer I wait, the more I realize - the brain juice may not begin to flow again for quite some time, so I might as well just write. (and you better believe the first time I typed "write," it came out "wrtei"..spell check had no idea what to do with that) 

I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem incoherent.

Blithe Spirit is a British comedy of sorts regarding the playboy Charles Condomine (Stephen Bradford), his current wife Ruth (Kristen Fox), and his deceased wife Elvira (Michealla Greeff).  There is a seyonce where Madame Arcati (Nancy Jensen) brings back the spirit of Elvira, whom only Charles can see and hear.

The script is wordy and very British.  I don't think I've learned to appreciate that kind of humor as much as others.  I'm the queen of taking thirty words to say something that could be said in five, but it looks like author Noel Coward is King.

As far as the performances go, Kristen, Stephen, and Nancy nailed it.

Nancy played the crazy medium no-holds-barred.  She has this adorability factor that wins over every audience I've seen her work. Every character I have seen her play has been entirely different from the last and she loses herself completely - becoming a new person.  I only hope I can have half her talent some day.

Kristen channeled the intricacies of a woman in love with a man she has been fooled into thinking loves her as anything more than a caretaker.  In the first act, her Ruth and Charles had this fantastic flirtatious banter that proved to me that an on-stage relationship can be greatly impacted by the off-stage interactions of the actors.  I can't mention the first act without mentioning how drop-dead gorgeous Kristen looked in her first costume.  Yowzas.  These two are comfortable friends and you can tell.  You can also appreciate Kristen's rage as she lets Stephen have it for being a conniver and a womanizer.

Stephen.  I found his Charles truly likeable for the first half hour or so and then he turned into a slime-ball.  His character didn't necessarily think he was being a jerk, simply acting in his own self-interests - he couldn't see outside of his own little world to realize the impact of his decisions on these women who loved him.  Or did they?  Because of his blatent change in no longer covering for his true feelings, we see the women in his life peel back a few layers themselves and you begin to realize that everyone was involved out of convenience.  Or were they?  Part of Ruth seems to truly love Charles, but truly hate him all at the same time.  Perhaps she caught on to his deplorable acts, but kept pretending to live in the world she so much desired.

I knew all but two of the cast members of this production, which lead to a particularly entertaining evening for me.  I love watching what parts of themselves my friends put into their characters and what parts they totally abandon.  Will they abandon everything and I see a stranger on stage?  Will they pull from all of their own experiences to make them and their character seem one and the same?

Stephen, Nancy, Kristen, Bryan, and Michealla - thanks for a great evening at the theater!  The show has now closed, but I've got these amusing memories* forever.  

*Stephen and Kristen preparing alcoholic beverages...ha.
*Kristen smacking Stephen in the face so hard that he had to run off stage and ice up