We all have romantical interludes in our lives that have passed for one reason or another.
We all know, when those relationships end, we will both end up dating and marrying not each other.
Why then do I become giddy with joy and simultaneously want to vomit when I see a former flame flirting with a beautiful, sparkling date of his whose eyes clearly adore him? How can that make me so satisfied and synchronously so sick? As super refreshing as it is knowing we are both happy in our pursuits not with each other, I just don't want to witness the ritual. I'm guessing the main reason, although selfish, for the blow to the gut is seeing solid evidence you are no longer the most important person in that individual's life.
When you have chosen, and genuinely desire, to remain friends, seeing each other date is inevitable and that first splash of cold water in the face is the worst.
I am grateful for my opportunities in relationships. I am grateful for the control they have over our internal organs from butterflies to bleeding. Not to sound cliche, but it really is tasting the bitter that makes us recognize the sweet. I am grateful for second and third and fourth chances for happiness and that the men I've dated are quality enough to want that happiness for me as much as I want it for them.
That doesn't make the whole process any easier.
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