Monday, July 1, 2013

Top Seven Things to Never Say to a Bride

1. You are stressing me out
You think you are stressed?  The bride is not only stressed about what you are stressed about, but every other element of the wedding.  She's trying to please you and every other person in her life.  Please take a moment to breathe and bite your tongue until after the wedding.  Then, you can both have a good laugh at what stress cases you were.  Yes, some brides need knocked upside the head as a reality check, but few and far between are the individuals who are close enough to have earned "knocking upside head" privileges. 

2. You are not letting me be a part of your life
Sometimes, a bride wants to get her wits about her and have a complete picture before she shares information with the masses.   Handing you one puzzle piece of the puzzle is simply confusing.  If you know, love, and trust her, if she tells you, "I will tell you as soon as I've got it figured out," then believe her.  Her intentions are not to cut you out in any way, her intentions are simply to save everyone some time and confusion.

3. You are not letting me help you
Everyone the bride knows wants to help her and be a part of the most important day of her life.  Everyone.  There are certain tasks that are easily divided up - bridal shower, bachelorette party, helping collect addresses, etc.  There are other tasks, however, that the bride may find it easiest to complete herself.  I'm not an advocate of, "If you want something done right, do it yourself," but there is truth there.  Do keep asking the bride if there is anything you can do so that she knows you are available and willing, but don't make her feel guilty if she says, "All you need to do is show up and dance the night away." 

4. You are doing it wrong
There are many wedding traditions, but just as often those get thrown out the window.  For my own wedding, I am not having a bridal party.  I have too many people I love too intensely to narrow the party down to a logical/realistic number.  I've opted to have every female who is involved in the wedding wear a special necklace I have purchased for them and my groom will be purchasing matching ties for all of the men involved.  Is this "wrong?"  Technically, yes, but I would have had to summon all my might to not smack someone if they came up to me and said, "You are doing it wrong."  I think the most long-lasting of wedding traditions, the only one that matters, is to have the best day of your life - however you most see fit.

5. You can't
Oh no you didn't.  There is always a way for reasonable desires.  Don't tell a bride she can't afford that fancy Vera Wang dress.  Instead, look up recreations, work with a seamstress to recreate something similar at half the cost, help her find deals online - the options are endless.  (did you know David's Bridal, of all places, launched a line with Vera Wang?)  Each individual has a different wish and a different way of that wish being granted.  She can't afford the ring of her dreams?  How about working with a custom jeweler to create the band and accents, but placing a cubic zirconia instead of a diamond until a first anniversary?   Sure, a trained eye may eventually notice, but no one would argue with her reasoning.  Before you open your mouth to tell a bride she can't, think about all of the different options - I promise you there are many...unless she wants a grande entrance on an elephant...that one could take some work.

6. Let me give you some sex advice
No.  Just...NO.   Again, few and far between are the people who have earned privileges to this conversation. 

7. When are you going to have babies?
I realize people ask awkward questions when they don't know what else to say, but goodness gracious, first give the happy couple ample time to adjust to a completely new life together. 


Debbie said...

Ah, but babies are the best gift of marriage!!! I like to give baby gifts for wedding gifts :) BABIES, BABIES BABIES!!! When? are? you? having? babies? I always hope the answer is ASAP ;)

But seriously, I hardly ever give baby gifts as wedding gifts, and I never ask that question, I always just assume people are having babies as soon as they can ;) And just because you mentioned it, you may get a fun little pink & blue wedding gift :)

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