What I should think
Bridesmaid Dress: $99
Dress Custom-Made to Measurements: $40
Shipping from China: $30
Red Crinoline: $30
Being Maid of Honor for my Sister's Wedding: Priceless
What I actually think
Bridesmaid Dress that I'll never wear again: $99
Dress Custom-Made to Measurements that are clearly not mine but more likely a DDD buxom
bombshell of a lady six-foot or taller: $40
Shipping from China for each of seven dresses even though it was all in one box and there is no
way the slowest shipping on the slowest boat from China was that expensive: $30
Red Crinoline for under the dress that is so ill-fitted the crinoline makes me look like an obese
tub-o-lard clown and will never be worn, ever: $30
Alterations: $Kajillion that I don't want to spend because why spend another $100 in the case that
the dress maybe might look a little better?
Total Cost: $199 + $Kajillion thrown right into the garbage disposal + incredible angst over looking
terrible in all of the wedding pictures that will exist F.O.R.E.V.E.R.
I really shouldn't let these kinds of things peeve me. Long story short, I used to look half-of-adorable and now I'm actually capable on rare occasions of looking adorable-and-a-half. Some weird self-esteem tornado comes and takes me away when I have to revert back to a state that caused me some emotional grief to say the least. Should I let appearances bother me this much? No. But it is my sister's wedding! I am maid of honor! Who wouldn't want to look top-notch?
You may think I am exaggerating, but when I put the dress on for my co-workers, they agreed. We also all agreed that maybe just adding straps would take care of the bulk of the problem, which is mostly that the chest is two inches too large. Yep. Not a recipe for success when there are no straps. And about six inches too long. So much for custom measurements. If I wear the dress as-is, I am a shoo-in for an accidental hybrid episode of Girls Gone Wild and What Not to Wear.
I have some options for a fix so the dress isn't as bad - don't worry. I just needed a good vent...and a post that will embarrass me when I look back in a year.