Monday, April 19, 2010


Has any other movie changed the way we think about dating more than Hitch?

Last night I watched this gem, one of my favorites, and realized the abundance of dating philosophies that did not seem to be common knowledge until February 11, 2005. Maybe it didn't "change" the way we think about dating so much as it pointed out a lot of obvious truths that were perhaps not so obvious before.

Top Ten Lessons I learned (or you should learn) from Hitch:

1. 90/10 - The kiss initiator moves in 90% of the way and if the receiving party wants some of that action, they move the other 10%.
2. Fiddling with the keys means the lady wants a kiss. Every date I have come home from since this movie, I have made it a point not to fiddle my keys...even if I want a kiss...cause now it just makes me feel like I'm screaming "kiss me." Some codes shouldn't be decoded. I've gone so far as to get my keys out and have the correct one ready before we are anywhere near the door, lest he ever mistake my clumsiness for fiddling.
3. Cheesy lines win over the lady. If a man said these to me on a date, I would literally laugh. Very sweet and true and reflective, but I'd laugh. "Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away." "Begin each day as if it were on purpose."
4. Women are lying. But not about what you think: "Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "Gosh, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom. "
5. Arm placement on your back has many levels of meaning: "Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some a**."
6. If you can get a lady to go out with you three times, you can get a first kiss
7. Eight out of ten women believe you learn all you need to know from the first kiss
8. Saying yes to a date is key: "When you're wondering what to say, or how you look... just remember... she is already out with you. That means, she said yes, when she could've said no. That means she made a plan... when she could've just blown you off. So that means it is no longer your job to make her like you... It’s is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP."
9. The thought that on any given date, I could have my *last* first kiss. Thrilling:-)
10. "I waited my whole life to feel this miserable." Albert says this pertaining to feeling heart broken because he loved so much and that hurt is the only thing keeping him connected to Allegra. How many times have we not let go of relationship blues because that feeling is the only thing we have to keep us with the person?
*bonus* - Don't ever try to make a pizza on the dance floor. The clubs already have food:-)
Did I miss any of your favorite Hitch lessons/moments?

1 comment:

sandy said...

Oh, if men would just understand No. 4, it would be a much less confusing world!