Cynical

I am a girl.  (Surprise!)

I have long, golden locks that, on average, shed 50-100 hairs per day.  (Thanks, Google)

I have a bathroom sink that likes to chomp up my hairs until it is so full it can no longer drain.

I have a need for Draino.

On my trip to Target (snaps!) this weekend, I was standing in the cleaning supplies aisle, pondering what sort of measures to take on the clogged drain.

A clearly elderly woman practically ran up to me, grabbed some toilet cleaner and loudly proclaimed (although I was the only one in the aisle), "This seems too good to be true.  I wonder if it will ring up this price."  The only problem was the cynicism in her voice - the clear disdain - the kind that comes from years of mistrust of the world.

I am generally a friendly person, especially to the chatty, older crowd.  They do make you laugh, don't they?  But this one, this one...
I just didn't know what to say - I looked at her, holding my Target brand drain cleaner, trying to reassure her that I see three price tags that all indicate the same price, so I am sure she would be fine.  But nothing came out.  I probably looked like a bug standing there big-eyed, mouth agape.

As she walked away, I realized: I hope I never become so cynical that I proclaim my mistrust to strangers and don't believe the prices clearly posted in the grocery store.  I hope I am able to keep my trust for humanity.  And Target.

Get Over It

When you  have been through a difficult situation, be it a break up, a lost job, a bad audition, how many times have you heard, "Get Over It?"

First of all, let me say I was never under "it," whatever "it" is.

Second, why would I want to "get over it" and forget?  Wouldn't the smart thing to do be to take from the experience the gems that will improve my odds and knowledge for the next time I face something similar?  Doesn't the thought that we can just get over something with the snap of a finger trivialize our experiences and make us feel silly for ever wanting or trying whatever it was?  You are never required to just wipe your hands clean and "get over it." 

For this reason, I always counsel my friends with this:

Do not get over it.  Learn from it.  Use this experience.  Remember.  Then take those feelings/thoughts and move past it.


That's right.  Be more.  Learn. Grow.  Keep Moving.  Move Past It.


After all, isn't life all about moving just one step at a time?  Even when all odds are against us and we can't imagine mustering the strength, don't we find we have conquered all when we just keep moving?

Wicked Divas

How often do you get to meet the lady for whom Stephen Schwartz wrote the song "Defying Gravity" from the legendary musical, "Wicked?" 

Thanks to my amazing friend, a group of us had that opportunity this weekend.  We sat in the third row, fully equipped with goosebumps and goofy grins.  After the show, not only did we get to meet the lovely Stephanie J. Block and Julia Murney, both of whom starred as "Elphaba" on Broadway, but we also got to meet conductor Jerry Steichen.  He came up to chat with us (it pays to know people) and shared with us the little tidbit I had not previously known regarding Mr. Schwartz writing "Defying Gravity" for none other than Stephanie J. Block.  Aside from dishing for us, he was real and made me laugh...a lot...earning himself a place high on my "awesome people" list.

You know who else is on my "awesome people" list?  The gang from this photo.  What a night - embedded forever in my memories.

Me, Chris K., Julia Murney, Leah J., Melissa S., Stephanie J. Block, Jon S., Jesse C.

You know what else?  I walked into the lobby of the architecturally amazing Abravanel Hall and saw....

ME!  So cool! 

Friend Requests

I have over a dozen friend requests sitting in my Facebook account.
The guy who talked at me at a party for five minutes whom I only told my first name. 
The girl I haven't seen since I was twelve.
The creeper who must have seen my photo from a mutual friend and requested me.
The guy from my home town who apparently knew me in high school and I have no idea who he is.
Someone from my family ward in Ohio who clearly knows me and watched me grow, but with whom I have never spoken.

You know the story.
And I feel bad for not adding them...for leaving them in limbo.
But not bad enough.

Seasonal Depression

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed too many mentions on friends' blogs, Facebook posts, and e-mails of seasonal depression.

I wish there were more I could do for all of you, I know it is rough, I know this is a real problem.

I don't think I've ever truly been affected negatively by the season.  True, I loudly, obnoxiously proclaim January to be the longest month of the year, however I find excitement even in that.  Only in the darkest, coldest month of the year do I have a perma-excuse to hole myself up and catch up on all the reading, movie watching, and kitty cat (or handsome man) snuggling I miss March through November.

You know the blue pill and the red pill from The Matrix?  Maybe I've accidentally taken some blue pill of optimism to believe whatever I want to believe, because, as of late, I'm ridiculously excited about every change around the corner. 

Sure, I can't wait for spring to hit at the end of winter, but I can't wait for fall at the end of summer, or for Christmas and snow at the end of fall....it is this endless cycle of anticipation and excitement!

For all of my friends who do experience seasonal depression, let us play together and I'll try to spread a little of the joy your direction.  Cause I love you like that, no matter what the season.

 

Dreams: Noise Complaints and Wormy Teeth

I bet you are all wondering about now if I take some special "weird dream inducing" supplement - nope.

Saturday Night
My downstairs neighbor came up to tell me that my party was too loud.  I looked around the room and there were eight people - 1/3 as many as I usually have - and we were actually being quite quiet.  I asked the man why he chose now to come and complain because he never has before.  He didn't have an answer for me and began to look kind of depressed.  I asked him if it would help him feel better and stop his complaints if we invited him to the parties from then on.  He nodded in agreement, seeming excited about the proposition.
In reality I have a female downstairs neighbor whom has never complained about my parties.

Monday Night
I smiled and noticed that my front right tooth was majorly chipped and jagged like a mountain range.  I wondered how all my friends could have let me smile so sincerely with a smile so wretched.  Then I realized my teeth were like thousands of hard clear worm-like things that needed caps on the ends of them to keep them solid instead of worms and the caps on my two front teeth had fallen off.
Gross. I haven't been able to stop running my tongue across my teeth all morning, just to make sure it was only a dream.

And the Winner Is...

If you entered my giveaway for the $20 Amazon gift card, on this post, then you have been waiting with baited breath for the announcement regarding the winner.

I printed off all the comments, folded them all up in equal size, tossed them around in a big dunce hat for awhile (don't ask), then had a co-worker close their eyes and pick a piece of paper.  Random, I'm telling you. 

And the winner (who needs to e-mail me at lilvwbug@gmail.com so I know where to direct the gift card) is...

Congratulations, Sarah!  And thank you to all who commented.  I'd suggest everyone go back and read the comments - many enlightening thoughts there.

Numb Tongue

Don't you just love and simultaneously despise that feeling you get when you reach the point of having eaten so much ice cream, your tongue is numb?

How Does it Feel?

Everyone always asks the cliche question, "How does it feel to be x years old?"

What kind of question is that? Am I supposed to feel different than yesterday?

I woke up the morning of my big 3-0, back in September, feeling quite as congested and voiceless as the day before, kitty snuggled up to me as she is every morning, the sun streaming in, all accompanied by the sound of the babbling brook. Yes, the same wonderful way I wake up every day (without the congestion).

I looked in the mirror. Three strange thoughts occurred.

1. Huh. I actually look pretty good without any makeup on. Kinda young and fresh-faced.
2. Thirty? This is what thirty looks like? I've pictured thirty a lot of times throughout my years and I never pictured thirty like this. I look good!
3. Wow. This is way better than twenty. Way.

You all know I'm far from conceited and practically cry every time someone gives me a sincere compliment, so please take the above statements with a grain of salt.

I'd somehow always pictured thirty as "old." Where are my wrinkles? The bags under my eyes? The shrinking lips? The expanding waist line? Grey hairs? Sagging anything? Spider-veins or weird spots on my legs? Non-existent.

When I was 24, the movie Thirteen Going on Thirty hit the screens. As totally vulnerable to pop culture as it may be, "thirty, flirty, and thriving" was permanently seared into my conscience. I always wondered, "Will I be?"

The answer is "YES!" an emphatic "YES!!!!"

And for your viewing pleasure, some photos of me through the decades.

Does anyone else find it disturbing that my mother put a breast-feeding child in a shirt labeled, "Mom's Bosom Buddy?"

10 - Idaho (Yes, that really is me.  Laugh it up.)

13- Freshman in High School

17 - Prom

20 - Dallas/Ft. Worth

22 - Cincinnati Reds game

24 - Grand Canyon

25 - summit of Nebo

29 - Bye Bye Birdie

30 - Christmas Family Photos

Straw Game

I love to play the straw game.

I am immediately 8 years old again.

I talk those around me into participating simply because there is no way to hide the ridiculous excitement and immaturity I have for this game.  A couple of weeks ago I was at dinner with friends and, upon hearing my name, I turned to look.  Three of them were holding their straw wrappers in position, waiting for me to join in the game.

The rules?
1. Tie a straw wrapper in a loose knot
2. Rapidly pull on both ends of the wrapper
3. If the knot comes undone, someone is thinking about you. If the knot stays in, no one is thinking about you.
4. Giggles and delight ensue, even if you lose - it is just fun!