Showing My Age

Two years ago, whenever I would have someone play the guessing game about my age, they always guessed 6-7 years younger. Now, when I have someone guess, they only guess about 4 years younger. Am I aging faster now? How can this be? I do have a theory that every break-up ages me a year from the trauma - so that would work out if this is the case. If this is the case, I also need to stop dating...

Another Letter

Dear hairy, sweaty, smelly, wife-beater-wearing, old man at the gym,
There were 9 machines to my left, 3 to my right, 13 in front of me, and 11 behind me - all open and free for your use. I counted. Why did you make yourself right at home on the machine next to me? I do not understand. Do you like the smell of my sweat? Cause I don't reciprocate...

Two Letters

Dear Foreign Hair on my turkey sandwich,
I know not from whenst you came. Why do you adorn my sandwich so? You repulse me, you nauseate me.

Dear Turkey Sandwich,
You are very lucky I am famished, lest your fate would be the same as unidentified Foreign Hair.

Once There Was a Snowman...

Saturday I fully intended on playing a rousing game of ultimate frisbee after pumping some iron at the gym. I arrived at the frisbee field to find dear Eric and Jim passing the disc around alone. Ultimate in the snow is the best, I don't know what is wrong with everyone else, but I was willing to settle for just tossing around.
First we tried throwing the frisbee and hitting it with snowballs.
Next we built a snowman! I haven't built a snowman in years!
After all the laughter and totally mind-clearing, much overdue joy, we tried to knock off the snowman's head with our rockin' frisbee throws. It really is astonishing how bad one's aim can be when throwing a frisbee at a stationary object. Regardless, we were at this for...oh...maybe 30 or 45 minutes. Just as we were relenting to our wet, frozen toes, I threw the disc. BAM - right in the kisser. Then a wobble...more wobble..more...ooOOooOoooh yes! The head rolled right off and splattered to the ground. I did it!
The day will forever be known in history as the great snowman massacre.

Median

Driving through Sandy Wednesday night, I saw quite the peculiar incident.
A car, turning left, shoots out into traffic to dart full-speed into what we in Utah so lovingly refer to as the "suicide lane."
My thoughts, "I wonder if the driver knows there is a 1-foot high median obstructing the....ooooohhh no....definitely didn't know."
Jaw agape, before I can even process my thoughts, the driver swings the car into reverse and speeds away as if nothing had happened.
I don't know how that car/driver didn't get damaged. Maybe it did, but it sped away with exhaust between its tires (my pathetic attempt at paralleling the phrase "tail between its legs") so quickly I couldn't tell.
I mean...seriously! Wow. That median wasn't exactly inconspicuous. Why are we all amused so much by others' mistakes?

New York at Christmas Time!

I failed to mention that I fled the sorrow that was encompassing my life a few weeks ago by taking a less-than-one-week's-notice-holiday trip to NYC!
I have had a dream of being in New York at Christmas since, well, at least since Home Alone 2.
I stood there watching the Macy's Thanksgiving parade in Times Square and thought to myself, "I feel so foolish. The only reason I'm standing here is because I am running away from my problems." Then I realized, no matter the reason I was there at that moment, I was living a dream come true - not just for myself, but for so many others. I received a text from my mom during the parade about how she has dreamed her whole life of doing what I was doing.
I also decided to fly in my little sister as her Christmas present, although she couldn't come in until the day after Thanksgiving. She somehow convinced her friend Ryan (who came with us in April) to come as well. The three of us had a blast.
I can't describe the feeling of your heart being filled with sorrow and joy, both overwhelming, at the same time. My life is extremely blessed. I know this even when I'm going through any sort of emotional or physical challenge. I know my Heavenly Father loves me and watches out for me - including making the fares to NYC the same price five days in advance as they would have been a year in advance:-)

Oreode

This is my oreode to charity.
Last night my ward held an auction to support the families we are sponsoring for Sub-4-Santa.
Many volunteers donated items and services while equally as many bid.
I offered a tutorial on how to make my famous homemade oreo's, as well as taking home the freshly created morsels of heaven.
Imagine my shock as the price jumped from $5 to $30 in about 10 seconds!
$35 going once...going twice...sold!
One of the most amazing young men I know will now hold the magical powers of oreo creation.
What is more amazing than the amount of the auction are the hearts of those participating. Last night wasn't about getting a bargain - last night was about giving the blessings we have received to others. My cookies are certainly not worth $35, but the joy an individual in need will receive is worth far more.
In all, we helped to raise over $3,000 for charity. I am in awe.

I also just realized that all those times I've thought I had to beg for help making cookies could really be quite a profitable venture...just kidding, of course:-)

(and for those who are wondering - I bid on, and won, the opportunity to have the lovely Stacey-Marie Hansen -aka Miss Murray- fix my hair as well as a cut/color for my hairs from my professional stylist whom you should ALL go to/good friend Leah!)

Banana Wheat Thins

Does this sound like a good idea to you?
Well, it is most definitely not.
I had my wheat thins in a baggie next to my banana all day and the aforementioned happened...two great things, one bad combination.

Writing

As I was word-vomiting yet another e-mail venting to someone, I had this thought:

Sometimes the only time I feel like I can be completely honest is through my writing - there is no body language messing me up, no stuttering, no correcting myself based upon someone's reaction - it is just pure and out there in black and white.

Hunchback

Something made me laugh this morning. As glorious as the feeling of laughing is, I have to share what thought provoked the rush.

There is always that person who stands up during church, a movie, what-have-you, to walk somewhere they shouldn't be walking - behind a speaker, in front of a seated person, you get it. Perhaps the person is on the stand and stands up to walk 5 seats away. Have you noticed how they always walk hunched over?
Uhmm...helloooooo...I still see you! Hunch lower? Yoo-hooo....still see you! Maybe a little bend of the knees for more of a shuffle? Weird enough, I still see you!

Why don't we just walk upright with dignity and grace so as to not look like a deformed ape? Doesn't hunching just make the whole matter worse?

If hunching were equal to a cloak of invisibility, perhaps this would make sense. Instead, it just makes me laugh:-)