I would say I've started a new chapter, except that I feel as if I've been reading this chapter all along, I just didn't know it...and now I do.
1. I'm okay.
I'm healthy. I truly believe I will never again have to worry about the trials I once faced in regards to obesity. I don't crave the same types of food I once did. I crave working out. There is a certain knowledge I have acquired over the past eight years of how wonderful life can be when we are living to our potential and I truly believe that knowledge is what will keep me on the right path. As several of you wonderful readers shared with me alternatives I may want to consider to help me, I realized just how far I have come from eight years ago...and how "okay" I am...that I have, within myself, everything I need. And I can do it. I have done it. I will continue to do it. And when I feel like I am falling, I have friends and family to lift me back up.
2. Saying nasty words about a person who said nasty words doesn't help. And I have friends who will "take care of the family" moreso than the mafia would (you know who you are).
I know, I know. While I particularly appreciate the image of several of you "ripping out his balls," how is it okay for us to castrate him and not okay for him to tell me I look a little flabbier than when he first met me? Although the pain is different, there is hurt and pain behind both of those comments. Except that he honestly felt he was doing something helpful by pointing out to me that Snickers is no laughing matter. How is ripping his balls out helpful? You see my point.
3. If I gain or lose five pounds or a body fat percentage or two, that does not make me a failure or a success.
That makes me human.
4. I will forever keep the kind words and love you all expressed to me.
I'm terribly sorry that I had to experience this kind of ignorance. But if I hadn't, there are things almost 100 of you shared with me that I would never have known. Now I know. And my thoughts, feelings, and perceptions will never and can never be the same.
5. Don't wait a moment to tell anyone you admire all of the wonderful things you think about them.
Couldn't we all hold our heads a little higher if we new exactly how much so many people out there felt for us? Would this comment have bothered me so much if I had known how many people had felt inspired by watching my life evolve? Would this comment have bothered me if, if, if? Do not leave people wondering if they are important to you or if they have left an impact on your life in even the littlest of ways (like telling a singer he/she has a beautiful voice). So what if you think it is weird to share with them a random compliment? Wouldn't you rather sacrifice those few seconds of courage to give them a bit of knowledge they can carry with them forever?
6. Think about those experiencing your former trials before criticizing your past.
This young man should have thought about how much it would hurt before he tried to "help" me. Likewise, I should have thought a little more about how my self-consciousness would make all of my friends feel who are currently struggling. I remember having a roommate, who was at times frighteningly thin, always complaining about how fat she'd gotten, when she was clearly half my size. One day, I took her aside and expressed to her, "Do you know how it makes me feel when you call yourself fat? Do you know how much it makes me feel terrible and wonder about the terrible things you must think about me and my size?"
I need to feast upon my own words there. And if I hurt anyone's feelings, I am extremely sorry...I would never intentionally inflict the kind of pain on someone else that I felt so many times...that I caused myself so many times.
7. My body ROCKS!
Seriously! I have all the right curves in all the right places (whether they are more or less toned one month as they are the next is trivial). My muscles all work. These hobbit legs and kids-size tootsies can run five miles without stopping. My heart can beat 150-170 beats per minute for an hour at a time and thank me for it when I'm done. My hair is long and luscious. My hazel eyes are the gateway to my soul. I have enough energy to be the Energizer Bunny.
Most importantly, this body is mine. If I treat it right, it will return the favor. And it has. I'm healthier now than I was ten years ago. That says a lot, yes?
8. My body size does not and will never impact my spiritual size.
What a marvelous realization.
At first I was upset that people said, "No matter what size you are, I've always found you one of the kindest, most genuine people I know and that is more important than any ridiculous number." Because, hey, what did I go through all that work for if I was no more attractive at a healthier stature? Ohhhh...riiiight...I did this for my health and for my own self-image. I cannot state enough how much my self-image grows when I know I have the unconditional love of so many lifting me up.
Experiences like this help me to keep loving myself as much as others love me. And if a person doesn't love me or say loving words to me? Doesn't mean I should love myself any less...whether or not there is more or less of me.
|A Lot More of This!|
|No more of this!|