Buddyaholism

Hello. My name is Larissa and I am a buddyaholic. I've faced this problem as long as I have been perceptive of men. I would like to say I have been sober for a few years, or even weeks, but I have not conquered this addiction.

There is one noun, which occasionally becomes a verb, that we single folks have hauntingly plastered in the forefront of our minds practically 24/7 - "Date."

Did you shudder?

I have always been highly sought after in the company of the male gender. I know, without a doubt, they adore me. How is this a problem, you ask? Anyone ever seen "My Best Friend's Wedding?" Consider me Julia Roberts. I am the proverbial best friend.

I don't blame them - little puppy dog cute, bubbly, steady supply of cookies and other victuals, social, complimentary, intelligent - of course you'd like someone like that around. I just assume men aren't interested in me and only want a temporary solution to some sort of friendship/dating woe, so naturally they want to be my buddy and nothing more - this is the err of my ways - the "buddy zone."

I was recently reprimanded by a male friend for always buddy-fying men - he claims I never even give them a chance. I fight back, "I would rather have them as a friend than nothing at all! They aren't interested and if I act like they are, they'll get weirded out and I'll lose them altogether! If a guy wants this luscious commodity, he will ask me on a date." My male friend begs to differ. I just didn't get it though. No comprehendo.

In the not-too-distant-past, however, I had the unfortunate experience of thinking a man was interested, only to realize he was just "buddy-fying" me. I felt an idiot and finally understood what I've been doing all these years.

How many men have I mistakenly placed in that zone without realizing they really were interested? How many opportunities have I wasted? (As I write this, I still find it an ever-so-illusive concept that anyone would be interested, although there is another part of me that thinks of course they would be)

I vow, here and now, to become sober from my buddyaholism - I will give all future males the benefit of the doubt before using the "F" word - just friends.