Crime: Awkwardness Thrust Upon the Young Single Adults
The Scenario:
I was selected to play the character of Miss Scarlet, the sexy one, for our activity of live action clue. I have to live up to my reputation of somewhat being an actress, so I tried to stay in character. I spoke in a sultry voice, positioned my weight just so, and winked abundantly. Men I have never before seen would throw flirtatious comments my way and even say some things slightly uncomfortable. I couldn't quite figure out why they flirt so much with Miss Scarlet, but not so much with Larissa when we are, indeed, one in the same. Some folks got I was back to being me after the game ended, others didn't.
*Disclaimer* - this is all in good fun. If any of the parties involved read this post, you have to recognize the hilariousness of these situations and the total blog-worthiness of it all. And I totally am not following the rules of Clue - the "clues" below are just hilarious, awkward stories from the evening.
Clue 1
"How much do you weigh?"
"What?! You do not ask a lady her weight. Ever."
"If you don't tell me, I'll guess."
"I honestly don't know, I haven't stepped on the scale for a month." (this is because I am majorly disappointed in my eating habits the past month and don't want to sink into major depression based off of what that blasted needle tells me)
"Oh please, you are a girl. You know. What is it? I'll guess!"
"No, no, that's okay. I'll tell you because if you guess you'll over guess and then I'll be depressed."
*Insert his weight guess here*
"Hey you didn't wait for me to answer! Fine. Last time I stepped on the scale was *insert weight two pounds less than what he guessed*."
"Okay, so how old are you?"
Clue 2
Gentleman moves to put his arm on my shoulder and scores an accidental bum graze.
"Whoa, watch those hands."
"It was an accident! If you were a guy, I'd say I didn't know it stuck out so far."
Awkward laugh and blush.
"Um, but you are a girl, it is supposed to stick out. Guys don't stick out so far."
More awkward laughs.
"...and ghetto booties are totally in now thanks to J-Lo! So you're good!"
Clue 3
Involved in a conversation, the young man abruptly turns and walks towards some food.
I hear the command, "Come here."
Naturally, I cannot believe I've been given an order like a trained dog and follow him to confirm if I had just heard what I thought I heard.
"Did you just say, 'Come here?' Does that really work on people? Like, do people actually respond to that?"
"Well you just did."
Clue 4
Via Facebook Chat
"Okay. Ima go sleepy now. Wanna come? I think I am funny sometimes." (not honestly offering for the young man to have a slumber party with me - I just think the invitation is hilarious and probably shouldn't and should probably stop...oops)
"Ha ha. I need to finish some work and I have a sore throat for no reason today, so best that I not smother ya."
"Wow. Even my pretend invitations get rejected."
Clue 5
Facebook message this morning from a man at the activity who has never spoken to me.
"Would it be alright if I called you sometime to set up a date?"
Mystery Solved: It was Larissa in the church building with the high-heeled shoes.
I had an absolute blast the entire evening. I think I thrive off of awkwardness sometimes. I'm not saying I condone it or enjoy these weird things, but it does give me some inexplicable rush and some seriously spectacular stories.
