To See the Face of God

I know that there is a higher power that loves and watches over me.

To most Americans, God is our higher power.  For others, that power is Krishna, Buddha, Zeus, the list goes on.  Reading this knowing that God is my higher power, imagine whatever is your higher power.

Because of the great example of unconditional love that my earthly father sets for me, I am certain that my Heavenly Father is guiding my paths and protecting me daily.  My center, my constant, is knowing there is a higher power in the universe.  Several personal events have occurred in my life that leave me with no question as to the existence of higher power – the impossible has been made possible, the warmth of comfort has spread over me like a blanket in times of cold despair. 

Gymnastics changed my life.  More importantly, my gymnastics coach, Pastor Brian Anderson, changed my life.   I sometimes feel I use the analogy of the gymnastics coach too often, but I can’t stop seeing everything crystal clearly in these terms.  Imagine God as your gymnastics coach.  He teaches you strength-building conditioning, flexibility exercises, drills for form and stamina all before teaching you actual gymnastics skills because you need a foundation to build upon.  Once he teaches you a skill, he will stand there, spotting you with all the strength he has to help you successfully complete the task at hand without falling.  Once he knows in his gut you can do it on your own, he steps away.  What happens then?  Well, most often what happens at least once is that our faces, hineys, or bellies end up on the floor in a heap.  For our own betterment, the coach watches us fall.  He is there to scoop us up in his arms in times of true, desperate injury, however most often we are merely bumped or bruised.  In my own experiences as a coach, this was the most difficult thing for me, yet I knew if I didn’t step back and let the gymnasts try the skills on their own, they would never learn to succeed.  What I wanted more than anything was to step in and protect them!  But what brought me joy unlike any other was watching those moments the gymnasts succeeded!  The look on someone’s face as they complete their first handspring vault and you both run towards each other squealing and jumping up and down is pure bliss.      

I imagine my father in heaven much the same way – teaching us the foundation principles, giving us guidance and help, yet stepping back so we can truly learn what this life is all about.  Will we fall?  Absolutely.  The key is to get back up and keep trying instead of laying there in that miserable lump cursing the coach who let us fall.   Much like the coach who watches us stand on the end of the balance beam, hesitant to try a back-tuck dismount for the first time, God is empathetic and understanding of each decision we make and why…he knows our hesitancies, our discomforts, our strengths. 

Some of you out there wonder how God could let children be harmed, how He could let loving parents die in car accidents, how He could let pure evil like Hitler reign.  I do not have answers for that.  I wish I did.     

What I can say is that I have a divinity inside of me.  Many times I have been pulled aside and hugged in a tearful embrace as someone shares with me how grateful they are for the influence of the goodness and light that radiate from me.  When I was 17, a man who appeared to be ancient to me placed his arms upon my shoulders, piercingly looked into my eyes and said, “The eyes are the gateway to the soul.  You have beautiful eyes.  You have a beautiful soul.”  This light is a gift, a blessing.  Again, I cannot answer as to why my life has been gifted this and not gifted to an afflicted child in a third-world country.  The answer is beyond my comprehension. 

I share this with you because the events of the world have left me torn and confused for many years.  There are ideas and principles in the LDS church that I don’t understand or agree with.  I have a desire of knowledge, although I am far from a knowledge in most things.  But above all else, I firmly know my Heavenly Father loves me.  I know he loves every single one of us in a way that is absolutely incomprehensible to us.  I know my life is wonderfully blessed because of the principles and guidelines I have followed as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  There is a place for everyone in the Church if they want it.  Whether in 100% agreement or not, I know this is where I need to be.  I know that we fumble around on this earth and as long as we are trying to, wanting to be good people, the Lord will understand.  To love another person is truly to see the face of God.  To love another person is the divine higher power in each of us.  

Random Thoughts

1. Wendy's started using sweet pickles on their .95 hamburger instead of dill.  Bad decision.  Very bad.  Who likes those things?

2. If I get a front-row spot in the gym parking lot, does that mean I have to work out longer?

3. Why are people I know going nuts trying to find someone to choreograph and some singer/dancer's to perform at their event when I (gymnast, dancer, singer, teacher-of-gymnastics, teacher-of-kids-dancing) am sitting right here with the skills and talent pool of friends (even professionals) at my finger tips and have offered to help multiple times? 

4. I have tap shoes and ballet slippers on the front seat of my car and this makes me smile.

5. I was absolutely unphased about
      -I typed the above phrase and must have gotten interrupted because this saved in the draft.  Now I have no idea what I was unphased about.  And that is definitely phasing me.  What is this mysterious thing that doesn't phase me?  Blagh.  I guess I'll never know...

6. Did you know someone hit my car, got out and spoke with me and agreed to pull over to exchange information, then drove away?  Yep.  I'll tell you more about that later.

7. I met, and had conversations with, some pretty amazing people at the Sundance Film Festival -  Jerusha Hess (Austenland, Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre, Gentleman Broncos) and Jim Rash (Community, The Descendants, The Way, Way Back).

8. Todd Bridges (Diff'rent Strokes) showed up at my beau's improv group, Quick Wits, and performed with them.  He's a nice, entertaining fellow and didn't knock anyone out for asking, "Whatchyou talkin' 'bout, Willis?"   And for any improv folks - he plays "Spit Take" like no one you've ever seen.

9. In a week and a half I get to meet three individuals I'm jumping out of my skin about.  I can't tell you two of them until after.  One of them is Terrance Mann - he originated the Broadway roles of Javert in Les Miserables, Beast in Beauty and the Beast, and Chauvelin in The Scarlet Pimpernel.  Yeah, I'm just a wee bit excited.  His version of "If I Can't Love Her" turns me into a puddle of goo.

10.  Raspberry Diet Coke from the Coke Freestyle machine is the best beverage on the planet.

Les Miserables Broadway Across America

I live a charmed life sometimes.  Other times, well...we need not show off those wounds.

I've mentioned before my most amazing friends on the planet, right?  I was blessed, once again, with treasure beyond my deserving - tickets to Les Miserables.  Not once, but twice. 

Adventure number one was quite the romantical evening out with my darling friend Chris.  We have season tickets together with Melissa and Jon, but were unable to attend on our original night.  We thought we'd be out of luck until Melissa called us and said she had two Orchestra tickets for Chris and I on Saturday May 28 if we wanted them.  Heck yes!

We started the evening with delicious chicken philly cheesesteak-type sandwiches and cheese fries, which, if you know me, you know I couldn't be much happier with the meal selection.  Chris, knowing me as well as he does, also knows I do not appreciate driving in downtown SLC on busy evenings and he volunteered to chauffeur.  The chill in the air and the drizzle of rain made for what could have been construed as miserable, but cutie little Chris (well, he's huge, but you know) had this umbrella he carried over my head, made sure my lil legs were adequate to jump across all puddles, and even pulled me in when he noticed my wandering self was drifting away from the umbrella coverage.  I kept thinking to myself, "Man, this is kinda romantic!  Too bad I'm not with a boyfriend!"  But I then smiled as I realized that boyfriend or no boyfriend, my actual friends don't get much better than Chris and I couldn't have been more grateful for those moments.

Adventure number two was a pleasant surprise to say the least.  My friend from the womb, Scot, (yes, our moms were prego at the same time and we grew up together!) and his amazing wife, Megan, came down from Idaho with their theater friends to enjoy their season tickets at the Capitol.  I was planning on meeting them for a couple hours in the morning prior to church and give them grandiose hugs g'bye.  Only, it happened to be pride weekend and their friends happened to take their car up to see the parade and festivities.  Scot and Megan said it sure would help them if I could give them a ride to the theater, and, hey, it sure would help them if I'd take this ticket and see the show!  I'm usually a stickler with keeping the Sabbath Day holy.  I have been known to make exceptions for vacations.  I struggled with the decision a wee bit, but decided I would take the blessing to spend more time and enjoy the show with these lifetime friends whom I only have the pleasure of seeing once per year.   And as a result of our afternoon out, I was given permission to marry Scot should Megan ever die.  Precious.  And twisted. 

Because the show was the same cast, I will share with you my collective thoughts from both viewings and a collaboration of the input from others - seeing a show with four theater gurus is an eye-opening must.

Les Miserables is always going to be loved by audiences.  Let's face it, they'd have to be really terrible for the audience not to go nuts, especially in Utah. 

The quick summary? 

Pros: Les Mis!  The sets were amazing - no more rotating stage for this show, but three-story high sets and projection screening effects that I actually liked - hallelujah!  The Wonderland folks could have taken a lesson from these designers.  Javert.  Best character, singer, actor in the show - I swear by the stars:-)  The collective-cast sound was brilliant and beautiful and hit the right chord in my heart.  I am a sucker for a sincere tale of redemption and they don't come better than Les Mis. They cast Fontine and Cosette as a mother/daughter pair so like each other you would almost think they were the same actress - props.

Cons: There must have been a special school of vibrato all of the cast had to graduate from in order to perform - they all had this same overly ample warble.  I am all about classical and I know this show needs to be so, but...MAN...calm it down, I think I hear some goat mating calls in the distance. Alright, alright, it wasn't that extreme, but it made me giggle when I thought it, so I shared.  Eponine, on the contrary, had no vibrato - she straight toned the heck out of everything.  And, interestingly enough, she managed to change ethnicity from child to adult - reverse Michael Jackson syndrome? Valjean had a weak head voice, which really bummed me out on "Bring Him Home."  His chest voice more than makes up for it, but hearing a non-strong-head voice rendition of "Bring Him Home" is like having a pizza with no cheese.

For me, the shows were mainly about the company with whom I was sharing the experience.  I can only dream of some day being as talented as the performers on that stage.  I love that my heart is able to sing along with them and simultaneously be filled with the joy of knowing I am loved and am capable of loving so much in return.  Thanks, Jean Valjean.

Chris all bearded for his role in "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"

Scot!